Tag Archives: Television

A Date With the Kitchen

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

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For a very long time now, the day a girl comes to this world, she’s born not with a silver spoon in her mouth, rather a silver ladle in her hand!! And would I be far from it?!?

I grew up watching my mother conjure up delicious and mouth-watering dishes in the kitchen. I did notice that the man of the house (my father, that is) stayed away from the kitchen. The curiosity in me was piqued as I wondered why men basked in blissful ignorance and weren’t as kitchen savvy as the women. At school, my sexist idea of “Women Only” in the kitchen changed, when my male classmates proudly displayed their kitchen cuts and bruises. In today’s age, the cooking profession is dominated by that category of homo-sapiens who bear the Y chromosome.

When I was in college, being a “bad cook” would have been princely. Growing up, I didn’t have to worry about peeling potatoes or playing with oil. I had my mother to do it all. I couldn’t cook anything—I even burnt water!! Then my mother sat me down and reasoned with me that to be a wonder girl of sorts, I should learn to cook.

Here’s why!

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Attracting men through your culinary skills have proven to have a success rate greater than that through your intellect. Cooking is art and science rolled into one. It helps you build skills, be imaginative, and is a stress buster. At a marriageable age, spurred on by her advice, I decided to explore the art of cooking.

And here’s my first date in the kitchen, rather with the kitchen!!!

Our day usually kick starts with a cup of coffee. An engineer that I am, my mother handed me the “procedure” to prepare coffee. Boil milk – check; Measure exact amount of decoction into cup – check; Add sugar – err?!? And that’s my first goof up and it’s an obvious guess. Sugar and salt should never be kept together – NEVER! The expression on my parents face in the morning as they sipped coffee laced with salt – priceless!

A three course meal that maketh a typical Indian meal involves using a variety of pulses. Phew! It’s easier identifying a salt in the chemistry lab rather than identifying the right pulse for the right meal!!! What a harrowing time I had!! The number of times I had to abandon ship and start over again, I used up the entire ration in the kitchen.

And the Indian bread! Gosh, to get the rotis in a perfect circle can be a humungous task. Mine resembled the continents on the world map!!! Who cares about the shape as long as they were edible!

You know what happens to vegetables when they’ve cooked too much? They turn to mush. And that’s exactly what happened to my ladies finger curry! Here’s a small piece of advice – wash the ladies finger before cutting them rather than washing them after the cut!

You may have heard it a million times, but do you practice it? Do you taste your food as you cook it? If you don’t, you really should start. Recipes aren’t always accurate and can often times lead you astray. Tasting your food as you cook means the difference of a mediocre meal or a delicious one.

In the latter half of the day, my mother asked me to curdle the milk. While I knew that adding curds  to milk will  result in fermentation, I did not know the proportion and hence added the whole lot of curds to the milk and when I innocently asked my mother what I should do with the balance curds as the vessel was filled to the brim , my mother’s temper rose sky high!!!

Every cook, being human, errs, bungles, botches, and screws up in the kitchen once in a while, but in my case, the whole date was a disaster! For your day to go alright, guess it helps waking up on the right side of the bed *chuckle*.

And years down the lane, with a sizeable portion of hours spent inside the kitchen, I’m definitely making great inroads to the heart of my man through his stomach!

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The Stupid Girl!

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By Ganesh Subramanian

She thinks she is beautiful

But in reality she is pitiful

She thinks she is everyman’s dream

But seeing her face in midnight makes a child scream

She thinks she is intelligent

But her brain can’t be activated even by a chemical reagent

She thinks she is worldly-wise

But her superficial knowledge is like melting ice

She thinks she is a super star

But she is nothing more than a black stone of tar

She thinks her boyfriend is a Rambo

But who will tell her that she herself is a Dumbo

She thinks she is the cynosure of all eyes

But she is nothing more than a walking dead body hunted by flies

She thinks she wears the best dress in the town

But seeing her colour choice makes even the apathetic frown

She thinks she is a heavenly wonder

But her friends know that she is only a God’s blunder

When trying to think, her lips curl

But thoughts don’t come to her, after all she is a stupid girl !

Get Srini: The Comedy Show

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N. Srinivasan stepping aside should have been a passing reference in the so-called news channels, instead of being a do or die effort at one-upmanship between some megalomaniacs, says Jaideep Ghosh

It was with a feeling of intense relief that I picked up a newspaper this morning. The lead headline wasn’t about BCCI, fixing, Srinivasan, Shirke, Jagdale, Dalmiya, Jaitley or any of the names, organisations or gangs that has held the nation, or rather, the nation’s media, captive for the past week.

Let’s face it. What exactly is wrong? Three players – two minor hopefuls and one has been – fixed some overs (allegedly) and made money and Srinivasan’s son-in-law was in the thick of things. And? Some bookies bet on the IPL, which never was the paragon of virtue ever. On the contrary, it was always a veritable den of vice. So where’s the surprise.

And where is the case? I am no lawyer, but one of the Penal Code sections being thrown at the cricketers is 420 – cheating. But who did they cheat? No one has complained, as far as I know. There has to be an aggrieved party, but there is none.

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So essentially, a dodgy tournament saw some betting and fixing (allegedly). That became the life blood of a few television channels and hogged newsprint, when it should ideally have been a news item, developing story, to be reported, maybe even commented on, and left for that. The country faces enough problems otherwise.

But no. From the beginning, the Delhi Police, and subsequently their Mumbai counterparts, made this a platform to preen about how efficient they are, with both Police Commissioners seen in action, mostly on TV.

Thereafter, the TV barons stepped in with their own brand of justice, trying to dethrone Srinivasan, who declared at the outset he wouldn’t resign.

Oh yeah? You know who we are? We are TV! We can change sarkar, stock market, crime index and even the weather! You think you’ll get away? Watch your least favourite channel then!

So come Sunday, and there was euphoria galore ‘Yeh (Srini, as he is so endearingly called) to gaya”, was the buzzword, as smug smiles were all over the screen. The smiles changed rapidly into frowns and then expressions of consternation as ‘Srini’ didn’t go anywhere. He stuck to his guns and just took what may be best explained as an involuntary vacation – that too on paper.

The great ‘Get Srini’ campaign ended up as a laughing stock, with increasingly shrill screams on the channels reflecting agony more than conviction.

Anyone who has covered sports in India knows that the BCCI won’t be bullied. Many have tried and failed, including the ICC, the Government, the media and even some players. They have tremendous infighting, but when it comes to ‘foreign’ invasions, they close ranks tighter that the Spartan 300.

This little nugget of knowledge seems to be missing from our generic media bosses. It would have saved them much agony and even more embarrassment had they worked on this premise.

But then, where would be the fun in that?

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No Pay…No Holiday…I Am a Housewife!!!

A full-time housewife and mom, Gurulakshmi Iyer-Hait believes that its easier to face corporate competition than take on the onus of becoming a homemaker. 

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I work. I work  24/7 without any pay. I can’t afford to take offs too. Yes, you guessed it right. I am a housewife. Bored, did I hear that? Where is the time to get bored? With a growing toddler and a husband (no less than a toddler), my hands are always full.

Till I had a kid, I’ve worked and have always believed that housewives have ample amount of time. They can pursue so many hobbies, do so many things. In fact as kids, we always took our mom, who has been a home maker throughout, for granted. We always thought she has so much time to do our work too. However, today, I realize how unreasonable we were….Life at home is definitely not limited to watching family sagas or reality shows in TV.

KRAs here aren’t defined by my manager though. And I must say they aren’t also limited to my potential and capability.

full-time-housewifeMy morning starts at 6. If there is a slight delay because of some fairy tale dreams, hubby dear has to manage with corn flakes or muesli for his breakfast. My entire timetable depends on my kid’s and my husband’s schedule, on the basis of whether is a working day or an off for them. If one of them get delayed, the whole day’s routine goes for a toss. Oh, above all things, I have realized that delegating and getting office work done from your subordinates is much easier than getting your household work done from the maids. However, over the time, you really get used to their whims and fancies!

And then you have your extended family to satiate. You are a house wife and you are expected to welcome more number of guests, more frequently. You are always available for hospitality! It is something that full time home makers might be habituated though. And then your maid decides to bunk on such days with your house full of guests. And I tell you, no production issues or office tension can compete with this particular stress.

Of course, I do get my time for rejuvenation. Once my kid is off to school, the next couple of hours are mine when I sit back with a cup of tea and read up on the current affairs or just decide to chat on with a friend. But then there are sometimes so many other impromptu chores to be done too during that time. While all the household chores get done, the bigger responsibility lies in molding the growing up kid. That’s an achievement that can’t be appraised or rewarded by any boss!!

While I run around behind my toddler, I must also admit I don’t have any guilt pangs of not being to work in the corporate. I now have a bigger target to work on and that too without a boss. After all, I am a house wife by choice!!