Tag Archives: Sibling

To My Brother…With Love

By Rimpi Goyal

rakhi

Today is Rakshabhandhan and it is really a wonderful feeling all around. The chaste bond of love between a brother and a sister is one of the deepest and noblest of human emotions. But suddenly I found whom I should tie my Rakhi though he is no more in this world. This gives me courage to share my feelings for him through this blog.

It happened in Chandigarh on Diwali 2011. Everybody was happy because we were planning to celebrate Diwali at our new house. My brother and I spoke on the phone. He was convincing me to come to Chandigarh and celebrate Diwali with all of them but I could not because of official commitments.

And then something happened.

My father called me and asked me to reach home immediately. I knew something was wrong. Yes, I lost him and my father his son. My beloved brother had died in a road accident and my father had just received a call from police. We stood in disbelief, pain and anguish. Both of us lost everything.

To be strong…..

When my brother was alive, I used to hang around with him a lot. We thought we were so cool! A bossy sister that I was, he never asked anything for himself…he was the one jo hameasha daant khata tha just to see a smile on my face.

A feeling that I cannot explain today had surpassed me then. Feeling of loneliness, feeling the irreparable loss of only brother, feeling of utter pain.

I remember someone saying at the funeral “You must be strong for your parents” Yes, I must be, but I’m not feeling strong for myself.

I felt sorry for my dad. People kept telling him to be a man and be strong for his wife and daughter.

Pain in their eyes

I was angry with God. I just couldn’t understand why something so terrible had to happen to us.

The most difficult part was not being able to talk to my parents. There was so much pain in their eyes. If they would bring up his topic, I would cringe because even though I wanted to keep his memory alive, I wanted my connection to be private. As I got older, I began talking about my brother to my parents more often.

The whole experience changed my life. I know I’m a completely different person than I would otherwise have been. When people ask how many siblings do I have, I always say, “One.” After all, at what point in a relationship or friendship do you bring it up? Anybody who is close to me knows. It’s a big part of who I am, and people have been so good about it.

I wrote this for my brother…He will be missed every day. Love you little bro….

You’re still here in my heart and mind,
still making me laugh ‘cause your stories live on.
I hold you in my thoughts and I can feel you.
I feel you and this gives me strength and courage.
The tears I have cried for you could flood the earth
and I know you have wiped each one away.
For you Brother, I promise you this,
I will go on with my life and make you proud. I will always hold you in my heart.
I promise you I will be missing you everyday till the end of time,
but this is not my end and I can’t hold my head underwater….I need to breathe.

I need to love and miss you…I might cry or smile,
but at the end of the day I am one day closer to you…

Love you a Lot..!!!! Happy Rakshabhandhan…

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Woman! Bring Up a Child to be Human First, Man Later!

Bringing up a child

Mili Sharma talks of how it’s more important to bring up a baby boy with values than just priding yourself in bearing one. A very important viewpoint, must read for all mothers.

“Wow…it’s time to celebrate!! A baby boy is born in my family!! He’s the one who’s going to continue my name…our family’s name!! I’m so lucky that I gave birth to a baby boy!! Had I not been able to do that, I couldn’t have had a chance to climb the golden ladder to heaven after death!!”

Isn’t what is said above actual thought inside a female while giving birth? Sad, things still continue to be this way. This is exactly how an average Indian woman thinks when she gives birth to a baby boy. And then the upbringing process starts “Oh!! I have to make him realize that he’s a male and he’s superior…he has the authority to rule his sisters, girlfriend and wife. I have to give him the best education. Oh, since I’m not well off, let me send his sister(s) to a local government school and let my son get the best education in town! After all, he has to take care of us when we get old. Never mind if he’s not able to score in exams, I can afford donations by selling a gold chain or bribing. Let me ignore my daughters as they have to leave the family one day.”

Now let’s see what the guy turns out to be because of this extra attention from his mom. He starts thinking that he’s born to rule his sisters and that he’s superior to them as he’s getting everything better than them. He’s never reprimanded for doing anything wrong like coming home late, scoring low in exams, arguing with his sisters or question them, bunking school etc. The mom feels that he’s a child…their sole heir…how could she even think of scolding, leave alone, thrashing him.

Picture+conveying+domestic+violence

Slowly and gradually he starts thinking that he’s the supreme power of the family and exhibits these traits wherever he goes. He starts questioning his mom and dad too and then his girlfriend and/or wife. Gradually, he loses respect for females and oldies as he’s now sure that he’s superior to them. He starts considering himself as the decision maker and the supreme power after God.

Even if he’s younger to his sisters’, he starts interfering in their lives. Trust me; these are the guys who feel women are nothing more than footwear. These are the guys who bash their wives at home and rape women outside. All the credit goes to their moms and families as they have not been able to instill some basic mannerisms, such as respecting their own sisters.

Had their moms been strict enough and never meted out special treatment to their sons, these guys would have surely turned out to be gentlemen.

Love u Mom for treating your son like your daughters and teaching him the core values of a human being rather than the values of being a male in the Indian society. Mom, just because of you I have the best brother in the world. Thanks to you and love you bro!

My advice to women – Be a son’s mom only if you have the capability of bringing him up to be a human being in the least; else get an abortion! We’ve already got so many of them to deal with.