Tag Archives: Recreation

Traffic Woes And Kochi

traffic delays

By Malathy Madathilezham

What are the uses of roads?

1. It is an obstacle course intended to test the skills?

2. It is a rain water drain?

3. Garbage disposal unit?

4. Who cares!!!!

Well the the people in charge of the maintenance/construction of road in Kochi would definitely select the fourth option I guess!! I say ‘people’ because even that is a question that I don’t have a proper answer to!!! Public Works Department? National Highways Authority of India?The Corporation??

Lot of confusion…so I am not getting into that.

I, like many other Kochiites, need to travel to reach my office every morning and come back in the evening. Now what is supposed to be a very simple 5 to 8 km distance to be covered has been made more interesting with a well designed obstacle course, with puddles or stones to be avoided, streams of water and other miscellaneous stuff to make the ride more interesting! You know in case we get bored! Whichever route you take, the road provide you ample entertainment, thrills and a very slow tour of the city for those of you tourists!

Kochi is growing. Yes, it definitely is! But good roads are substantially important for any city, growing or not! After all transport of men and material is important for any commercial activity. Accidents are just one of the hazards. Imagine after paying hefty road taxes, the long term impacts on our body by travelling on these disgracefully bumpy paths, that are supposed to be called ‘roads’! I think we should sue the authorities for the irreparable physical damage to our bodies!!!

Everyday morning, I get up, the thought of going to office scares me. It puts me off because of these dreadful paths… All I want is the right (luxury?) of being able to ride/drive to office in reasonably good roads, without having to dodge the puddles or holes, water streams etc… Is that too much to ask????

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kahen ya na kahen

whattosay

By Sharat D.Mathur

jee main aata hai har ik sham koi nazm kahen,

haat ho jate hain bezar, kahen ya na kahen

jee me aata hai ki vahashat ka vo lamha keh dain,

lavz ho jate hain khamosh, kahen ya na kahen

ashk kahtain hain ki gir jayen abhi kagaz par,

aankh jhuk jati hai chupchap, kahen ya na kahen

vo ye kahate hain ki shayar ho tum tumhi keh do

sunane wale hain wohi log, kahen ya na kahen

kuch main kahata hoon to kehtain hain ki kehta hai bohot

kuch na kehane pe bhi ilzam, kahen ya na kahen.

Ae Zindagi Mujhe Teri Hi Hain Talaash

By Chandan Das

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Ae Zindagi ye kaisa hain tera khel , Kaisi hain teri maaya

Kisi ko di apni barqat ki dhoop , to kisi ko soonepan ki chhaya !

Koi saasein le raha hain maut aane ke baad bhi, to koi hain zinda laash,

Ae Zindagi mujhe teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash !!

Ae Zindagi ye kaisa hain tera khel ,Kaisi hain teri maaya

Jaise ki CIRCUS ka JOKER, apne aansu dabaakar duniya ke liye muskaraaya !

Wo dekho singhasan par RAJA baitha hain udaas, udhar Rank bola “hota main RAJA kaash”

Ae Zindagi mujhe teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash !!

Ae Zindagi ye kaisa hain tera khel , Kaisi hain teri maaya

Kisi ko bakshi jannat tune, to kisi pe apna sitam yu tune dhaaya !

Bekasoor ko mili bewajah wo sazaa, aur Gunehgaar ka na hua Pardafaash,

Ae Zindagi mujhe teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash !!

Ae Zindagi ye kaisa hain tera khel , Kaisi hain teri maaya

Kuchh na le paya yaha se wo , kyuki bhoola ki khaali haath hi tha wo yaha aaya !

SITA ka haran kiya jis ghamand se, usi ghamand ne kiya RAAVAN ka sarvanaash,

Ae Zindagi mujhe teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash !!

Ae Zindagi ye kaisa hain tera khel , Kaisi hain teri maaya

Udhar husn hain jiska khubsurat , utna hi daravana uska saaya !

Pulkit hain yaha koi sab kuchh khokar bhi , to koi sab kuchh paakar bhi hain hataash,

Ae Zindagi mujhe teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash, teri hi hain Talaash !!

How Times Have Changed: The Mouse Lords Over The Cat!

cat-mouse

Ankush Kumar presents you the current political and administrative scenario in the form of this wonderful story. Must read. 

Once upon a time in La La land lived hundreds of mices. They shared great camaraderie amongst each other. All of them played under one roof, enjoyed morsels of food together, hunted in a herd and kept outside threat at bay.

Then one fine day a new breed was born. It was the result of one mice falling in love with another from a different country. There was tremendous opposition, but eventually love triumphed. Years passed and the new breed grew up to look distinctly different from others.

The attention that small unit got created jealousy amongst the others and it resulted in the Parent mouse getting killed. The unity was broken, the shackles loosened and the entire community let loose. All of them started to hunt at will, ate into each other’s shares of meals, it resulted in a lot of bad blood, some mice who were stronger than the other got richer and richer by the day, some who did not have the will to fight perished, while the family of the deceased mouse used their brains rather than muscle and ensured they rule over a divided house of mices.

Decades went by and the mices adjusted to the new order of the society, most went with the family of the deceased on sympathetic grounds, the family continued to exploit this notion to fulfill their needs. Some others relocated and became powerhouses in their own areas, while the remaining fluctuated from one point to another depending on the climate.

Then one fine day a cat entered the fray. The new entrant created havoc amongst the fringe mices, the cat steamrolled through these nobody entities, and the poor souls had no option but to heed into the cat’s demands. The cat sensed an opportunity here and attempted a coup, she threatened the new powerhouses with her actions, and since these new powerhouses had more muscles than brains they couldn’t fight the might of the cat.

They also feared that if any physical action were taken the aunt of the cat would pounce on them and finish their generations forever. The new powerhouses went back to the family, whose parent member they had killed. Years had passed since that incident, but the grudge amongst the family had remained, inside closed confines of their hideout a solution was reached, the new powerhouse would share the profits with the family and in return ‘they would bell the cat’.

PS: If you some asking me the relevance, am sure you are a techie who has no further clue of what’s happening outside your 14″ screen. Get a life geek 🙂

Tragedy of Being the Bridge Between Two Worlds

By Ankit Chandra

barbed-wire_2451037b

I’ve realized lately that I have officially crossed in to the land of No Man’s Land..

Well, is it a bird? is it a plane? hehe no its MsBA in Technology Management. And this is the tale of two lands.. Technology and Management and the narrow No Man’s Land in between them

I have never been a purist. In fact ever since I learnt that Nature loves entropy, I never got around liking the idea of being a pure anything. No pure cricketer, No pure artist, No pure singer, No pure Guitar player … and the list goes on till I came to this: No Pure Technologist, and No pure Manager.

So far so good. There are many types of me around in the world. Yes yes, I know what you are mostly thinking about. But keeping perverse sexual connotations apart, its good to be jack of all trades and master of being just that! Or so I thought till I visited the countries around my narrow strip of land.

Country: Technologasia

The citizens here usually looked just straight ahead. For them everything around them was an element of a list (or array, or set, or Class, or Struct) of equations, or data members, or neurons or digital signals. I visited the capital of this country called sillicity (pun intended). I walked up to the first person I saw the town hall, and here is the discussion I had:

me: Excuse me, do you know any good restaurants around here?
Sillicity citizen: I don’t know. I am just follow this path to get to my place of work, and use my super brain to find the quickest route to my work place. So I don’t have time to look around for restaurants.
me: Oh so you don’t eat out at all?
Sillicity citizen: You silly man, I am a technologist. I eat drink sleep equations, gadgets, numbers, and circuits. (angrily) Where are you from?
me: (taken aback a little): umm… I am from Technology Managementsia.
Sillicity citizen: I’ve never heard of that school. I am sure its not ranked anywhere, and therefore I am sure you are a much lesser human being than I am. Why do you even need food! Your quota of food should be used to feed fish; which we eat to sharpen our brains!

And then he walks away.. on his Segway…

Saddened by this sudden indignation, I go to the next iPhone store, buy an iPhone and look up good restaurants. Enjoyed the food, and walked south (in some context, south of quad), and reach

Managementistan…

There were my people walking around, and they WERE looking everywhere. Dressed very nicely and had a fixed 8 cm x 5 cm smile on their faces. I walk up to a pretty looking citizen.

me: Hello, could you please direct me to a restaurant around here?
Manageristanian: (sizing me up) hmm. I know there is one somewhere here, but I don’t know how to get there. It’s a pretty nice place. They charge 5 times the price they do in Technologasia, and have exactly the same food! I love their standardized processes which they use to make the same food everywhere.
me: Oh but why would I pay 5 times the price for the same food?
Manageristanian: That’s because they serve it in a very fashionable bright red plate. Thats very today you know… But since you ask such a dumb question, where are you from?
me: umm I am from Technology Managementasia you know, the… (She cuts me abruptly)
Manageristanian: oh yah nevermind, you coders. Never get the big picture of anything. Just find some food round the corner and satisfy ur hunger and try to learn from our existence… We live by example.
me: oh I am sorry to have bothered you..

I walk away, open my laptop, hack into a nearby store’s server and get some free coupon codes and use them to get me a good suit for free. I similarly get a free coupon for the restaurant have the food for free, and ride my segway home…

The Road to Hana and Haleakala – I

By Kartik Kannan

Not having much time on a 3-day break in the US, I decided I would take the plunge and do a road trip instead of signing up with a tour operator in the city. The challenge, however, was to drive on the right as they do in the US, in contrast to driving on the left in India.

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I rented a Lucerne Buick, a luxury sedan and slowly set off from the airport, rambling about slowly for about 20 minutes, trying to din it in my head about driving on the right. As the rubber met the road and the GPS were starting to make me feel comfortable, I started to turn the music on to the yesteryear Kishore da road trip number ‘Chala Jaata Hoon’, humming my way along the expanse of the 60 mile ride to my hotel.

I am sharing some photographs of the trip:

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The contrast of the grey roads, with the Blues and Greens is noteworthy

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Caravan lunch by the road!

One Night Stand

By Joybrato Dutta

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She dumped me. That bitch dumped me. She just walked away after gulping 5 pegs of scotch.

How could she?!? Damn her!

I walked out, sat in my car and drove. Don’t know whereto. Just drove.

Traffic didn’t seem friendly either. They welcomed me with a red light each time I entered their vicinity. Hawkers, beggars and eunuchs were all over my car. There was a couple tearing their lips apart in the car next to me. Damn them. Damn all of them.

Once I got out of their reach phone calls flowed in. “Hey mate, all well? Did you break up? She changed her status message to single.” What the fuck. Damn Facebook. That slut couldn’t wait for me to absorb the fact?!? She had to declare her victory!

I steered my car towards my apartment. My bloody phone beeped. Bloody over dramatic friends were at my place. They think I need a bloody friend. They want to hold my bloody hand while I cry. Who the fuck needs them? I turned around and I switched off my goddam cell phone. It’s the biggest threat to privacy. I had nowhere to go. By now everyone must be aware of my tragedy. And there was not a single friend who wasn’t on Facebook. Why do I have to add everyone? I cursed, cursed and cursed.

I needed to pee. I parked my car and fled to the nearest tree. On my way back I noticed a shady little bar. Did that even exist? All these days I have been travelling on this road and not once did I notice it.

As they say ‘Don’t judge a book by the cover’. The inside was even uglier. ‘The Afterlife’. Who the fuck names a bar like that. I took the nearest vacant table and waited for the waiter. A waitress snapped in front of me. I winced. “What would you like to have, sir?” Well how about some Potassium Cyanide for starters, and in case you don’t have them may be you can give me a MACHINE GUN. She stood there speechless. The first woman since evening, who actually wanted to listen to me. I cooled myself. One large JD with soda and some ice cubes.

In no time she got me my drink. I started drinking. 1 down …..2….3………..7. I don’t know was it alcohol or tears, but the world seemed hazier. I just hoped it remains like that. But another snap and the blur faded away. This time it came from another woman. Short leather skirts. Black stockings. Lipstick broader than her lips. Less skin and more make-up on the face. Perfect slut. She took the chair beside. “Can I buy you a drink”, she asked.

Now a slut will buy me a drink. Is that even professional? How does she manage her profits? While I was pondering over such logical thoughts she blurted “I am not an escort, stop staring at my breasts”. She definitely got me on that one. She continued “Just saw you tensed and thought may be you can use a friend”. What!!! Again!!! Is it written all over my face? All of a sudden the world is trying to empathize with me. I didn’t answer. She told me that she knows a better place where we can we can do the real stuff. Stuff that makes the pain go away. Stuff that erases every tragic memory.

Of course she was not a slut.

I walked out of the bar and drove wherever she took me.

The place looked similar to the drug-pedalling lanes shown in films. She asked me to wait there, while she got off the car. She was back in 5 minutes.

“Park your car there and follow me”

I did just the same. I wasn’t even in a condition to think for myself. Following orders seemed an easier task.

We entered this apartment filled with bigger losers. The pretentious ones. The wannabes. She guided me to this room where everyone was doing cocaine. Initially I resisted. Weed and hash are different things. But cocaine was way out of my league. She persuaded me. “Easy remedy for broken hearts”, she said.

And there I was snorting for the first time in my life. The first round hit me so bad that I flew back as if Bruce Lee had just kicked me. But I rose. To face the kick once again.

After a few rounds my nose started bleeding. But I didn’t give up. The slut who wasn’t really a slut pulled me back.“That’s enough! You don’t want to die”, she screamed.

She pulled me to the balcony. Holy fuck, we were on the 50th floor. Or was it the 5th? But the streets definitely seemed far away. Cold breeze touched my lips. And then the warmth of her lips touched them. She was a crazy kisser. I was helpless and I surrendered to her lurid desires. I caressed her back. My hand found its way into her shirt. She had a soft body. And then from nowhere, cops came.

Their sirens were so loud that it shook the building. Aren’t cops supposed to be stealthy?

“Run, run, cops are here. Throw that stuff. Burn it.” People were screaming all around. Insanity had struck in this sane world.

She pulled me up. She buttoned her shirt and then pulled me to the terrace. There she took off the lid of the water tank and pushed me inside.

Splash!!!

To all those Chemistry teachers who go around teaching that water is tasteless – Fuck you. It tasted better than anything I had ever savoured. As I was drowning in it, it seemed I was getting elevated to a more beautiful place. A paradise. I closed my eyes and lay flat at the bottom of the tank. Speechless. Motionless.

Suddenly I just got pulled out of my paradise. Reality had struck me once again.

“The cops have left. Don’t make a noise and follow me”, she whispered. I wanted to abuse her for bringing me back to reality. But I didn’t utter a word. May be it was her touch. It diminished every negative emotion.

I sat on the front seat while she took the driver’s seat. Together we just drove.

Suddenly in the middle of nowhere she took a screeching halt.

“Let’s fuck!” She exclaimed

“Just like that”, I questioned.

“How else?”

In a flash my fly got unzipped. My trousers were pulled down and I was inside her. In the middle of the night, in the middle of the street, inside my car, I was having the fuck of a lifetime. I fucked like it was the first time I was having sex. I fucked like it was the last time I was having sex.
Her soft body touched my lips. I looked up and for the first time I noticed her eyes. They were beautiful. She was beautiful. She was the best I had ever seen. She was the best who I had ever touched.

“You were good” she said while she buttoned her shirt.

Then she got off the car and started walking away. I tried stopping her. Pleaded for her name, phone number, address, but she just walked away. I was hardly in a condition to stop her. I watched her shadow fade away in the dark.

Somehow I dragged myself back into my car. Turned on the ignition and started driving. To nowhere.

My hands grew lighter while my eyes became heavier. Vision was getting blurred. But somehow I just continued driving. I was feeling the vehicle was getting out of my control. The road ahead was hardly visible. And then I fell asleep.

I slept, slept, slept and slept.

And then I woke up. It was morning and I was alive. I was actually alive! I tried to start my car but failed. Then I looked at the beeping indicator. The petrol tank was empty. On a normal day I would have cursed the car and my carelessness. But today I was thankful. It saved my life.

I walked to the nearest petrol pump. On the way I switched on my cell phone. Messages started flowing in. I remembered my break-up. I logged on to Facebook and ‘Liked’ her relationship status. I was in a mood for forgiveness.

It was the craziest night of my life and I decided to write about it in my blog.

And then I did.