Tag Archives: Rape

Seems Like Just Another Slap on the Wrist

By Anuj R

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It was outrageous to view today’s headline that the juvenile involved in the Rape case will be imprisoned for 3 years.

I am sure it has left all of us with some questions. To pen it down:

1) What we require at the moment is severity in punishments to change the course of the nation and not implementing judgement based on archaic laws that we have.

2) Will 3 years of community service really change what happens in future to the women of this country. Why are we being mild where it is required to be firm and severely strict ?

3) Stats say that once in 20 minutes there have been reports of rape. So once in 20 minutes something is wrong. Does the judgement provided in any way address this?

4) Why is it that if you are less than 18 years old, you can commit the same ‘heinous’ crime and escape what you really deserve?

5) Are we just going further backward and not doing the right thing?

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to Justice everywhere” – Martin Luther King

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Parental Guide To ‘Freedom’ And ‘Risk’

parental guidance

Post the gang-rape in Mumbai, a friend observed ‘thank God, I don’t have daughters’. But Jaideep Ghosh has, and he wouldn’t have it any way.

The plus of having a teenaged child is that you get tech savvy in double-quick time. But as a parent of a teenager, you also need to be able to gauge between what is too much interference, or not.

So when I got savvy to Whatsapp, I keep tabs on my daughter. But most of the time it’s to check when was the last time she was online. If the time span is anything more than two hours, I send her a message.

I am a father of daughter who commutes in to the North Campus of Delhi University from the NCR, alone. She travels the entire breadth of the city, through some of the not-so-great neighbourhoods, and beyond. I worry. But I will be damned if I tell her not to.

But while there is no question that people’s freedoms and rights are sacrosanct, some of the reactions to the Mumbai gang-rape, or any other offence, leave me a little frustrated and a little angry.

Our politicians have never been paragons of sensitivity, so their reactions are not to be jumped on with any great gusto.

At the same time, the reactions of the so-called ‘liberals’ scares me. You cannot condone, if not downright encourage, putting women in situations where they would be at risk.

I tell my daughter to be careful, not because I am trying to impinge on her liberties. I would equally tell a son to wear a helmet if he was on a bike. And I would tell them both to be back home by a reasonable time (though the interpretation of ‘reasonable’ has always been different for parents and children).

Irrespective of which country you are in, the initiative is always with the criminal. There is no system by which the police can pre-empt a crime, without prior knowledge. That is also what makes terrorist strikes so successful.

This distinction is pretty clear for me – I won’t let anyone compromise my child’s pursuit of success and happiness. At the same time, I would not accept any hysterical banshee proclamations that ‘freedom’ translates into taking unnecessary risks.

That applies particularly given the fact that we live in a society which largely, at best, just tolerates women. Men cannot handle being bettered by women, or even equalled. Take a look at how men drivers react to being passed by women. That is a classic example. So, given half a chance, they will try to force this ‘superiority’. Don’t give them that chance.

I worry. I am always keeping track of where my daughter is. She has been brought up in the rather unforgiving environs of Delhi, but that bravado and attitude can be a double-edged weapon.

But that doesn’t mean she will sit at home. She will do whatever she wants to do, but as a sensible 20-year-old, she knows where she has to draw a line. This ‘drawing a line’ seems to be an issue with many women. To them I say, get real.

That said, I wouldn’t trade having a daughter with anything else. I would wish her a happy life, as to all women. But be a little careful out there.

Indian School Girls: Then And Now

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By Ravi J Singh

10 things that have changed in Indian schoolgirls since I have left school –

  1. The skirts were 2” below knee; now these are 2” above.
  2. You’d call her ‘hot’ and she will go to teacher with a complaint; now you call her ‘lovely’ (and not ‘hot’) she will go to the teacher with a complaint.
  3. School loo were used for the usual stuff; now these are used as photography sessions
  4. Girls used to bunk at least 1 day in a week; now girls go to school at least 1 day in a week
  5. They used to have a Boyfriend; now its Boyfriends
  6. The age of having a boyfriend has also gone down. My times were between classes 8-10; now it is between classes 6-8.
  7. A non-veg joke to a girl was a strict no-no; Now it’s a part of daily cuisine.
  8. Very less girls had career aspirations then; very few now don’t have.
  9. Behenjis were majority then. Numbers are skewed towards fashionistas now
  10. There is a similarity though. They used to top schools; they still manage the feat

Disclaimer – Before the women brigades come after me calling me ‘a sexist’ or generalizing me as ‘shithead’, the points above are a mix of reality, fun, exaggeration and illusion.

A lot has changed since the time we used to be in school in 90’s and now. The paradigm of the Indian society has shifted, definitely has, towards west or its own ancient culture of more open. Non-conservatives can be a debatable fact of course.

A Pleasant Evening…An Unpleasant Discussion

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Delhi. A breezy February evening. The cold has subsided a bit, yet the chill in the air remains…

…Three girls in their hostel room. Sitting in a circle. Comfortable and cozy, each of them covering their legs with a part of a duvet. Sipping tea and chatting about the hunk next door. Jokes and loud laughter fills the air. Suddenly the light-hearted chit-chat gears into a serious discussion. About the increasing number of rapes in the Delhi.

Reeti: …but that stupid fellow knows that he looks handsome. In some ways, his awareness of his good looks reduces his charms. He is so obsessed with himself. That makes him quite effeminate.

Neha: True! I don’t like his friend’s either. They are such lechs! The way they stare at girls, it’s so yuck!

Priya: Oh that reminds me – the other day, Poo, Shy and I took a ric from the vishwavidhaylaya metro station to this hostel. Guess what happened? Three guys followed us in a Honda City. They went away only after they noticed the hostel guard. I was so scared. I don’t know why they followed us. True, the three of us were laughing very loudly at some funny thing Shy said. But I don’t know how we attracted their attention. Probably it was our loud laughter that attracted them.

Neha: C’mon Pri. Stop blaming yourself for having attracted them. They got attracted because they have no business on earth and wanted to simply have some fun.

Reeti: They were in a Honda City. Meaning, at least, one of them belong to a well-off family. That means they are educated; yet this is what they stoop to do!

Priya: Oh ya! They were well dressed too. Guys are just animals in the garb of human beings. They are so libido-centric! They can’t just think beyond that.

Neha: Correct! The number of rapes reported in Delhi proves the same. Forget about Delhi, the number of molestation cases we get to hear in Delhi University, which is supposed to be considerably ‘safe’ is proof enough!

Priya: The other day, Neelu had taken a ric from the Civil Lines metro station to Shamnath Marg. Two fellows came in a bike and tugged at her dupatta and kurta. It was 5:00 in the evening. Can you beat that? Tugging at her dupatta and not letting her climb the ric. Thankfully, the people standing in the pan shop intervened.

Neha: Oh yes, the metro stations itself are very unsafe. Never take the lift! There was a case in the Vishwavidhyalaya metro. This girl took the lift. It was 9 pm. There was some metro worker in the lift when she boarded and then the consequences were unbelievably bad!

Reeti: A metro worker! Did she get molested?

Neha: Nope! Raped!

Reeti & Priya: O GOD!

Priya: The other day, Vaidehi was taking a stroll round the campus, near Hansraj. A guy came cycling down, hit Vaidehi in her butt and moved on. Her boyfriend ran after than guy, caught him by his neck and forced him to apologize.

Neha: Did he apologize?

Priya: Yes, he did! The surprise factor was not that the guy hit her. It was that he did whatever he did, despite seeing a guy next to her and in spite of being surrounded by so many people. The weirdest part was that, while this entire drama of Vaidehi’s boyfriend running after him and catching him by his neck unfolded, not a single soul turned around to see what was happening. People are so stoical! Either they don’t care about others. Or, it’s a regular thing for them. So, none of them are surprised!

Neha: Moving out of the hostel has become such a risky thing. You never know whether you are going to come back intact.

Priya: Yes, for example, yesterday’s case. When such a thing happens, I just go numb. It almost feels like I have no hands and legs. If I ever fall into such a scenario, I don’t know how I would protect myself. I think I would just let the person do whatever he wants to do and leave.

Reeti: Shut up Priya. Don’t even think that such a thing would happen to you. You’ll be just fine, alright?

Priya: No. I guess all of us should keep ourselves mentally prepared for a scenario like this. This can happen to anyone. You know, at times I feel, since childhood we should be brought up with the mindset that getting raped is just like hurting your knees or meeting with a regular accident. Getting raped has nothing to do with self-respect! It feels so bad that just because you haven’t been able to save yourself from some creatures on the street, your entire family has to bear the brunt. I guess rape is the only crime in which the victim gets punished by the society instead of the victimiser!

Neha: Ya, I have often heard people saying things like – why did that girl get raped? As if, getting raped is such a pleasurable thing! That she was dying to get raped! Or, she even asked for this kind of treatment!

…and another pleasant and cozy evening ended in a bitter note! Although all the three characters here are fictitious, the incidents are real! 

The ‘Them’ And ‘Us’ Of Crime Capital

rich and poor

The gang rape of the five-year-old has sprouted claims that migrant labour has affected Delhi’s crime graph adversely. Delhi doesn’t need imports to commit crime, contends Jaideep Ghosh

A big fight was threatening to snowball over Facebook. Normally, nothing enthuses me more than a big fight, but the topic in question pre-empts all funny digs. So we will stick to the serious stuff.

The background is the gang rape case involving the five-year-old girl and the stand taken by a certain set is something which has been simmering for a while. At the same time, this cannot be allowed to snowball.

The stand was – this rape, and many other similar crimes, should be blamed on the huge influx of migrant workers, specifically from one state (no prizes for guessing which).

Now, this resentment of Delhi becoming the hub for immigrants from all parts isn’t new. It isn’t ‘cool’ or ‘liberal’ to discuss in public, but the undercurrents are immense. Some have objected in the social media, while most curse when a motley crew calmly walks in front of their cars, an imperious had raised to demand the near-impossible task of stopping a speeding car within ten feet.

The increase is resentment is now leading to crimes being committed by ‘them’, and how ‘they’ should not be allowed into Delhi, since ‘they’ are sullying the name of Delhi.

Naturally, there was resentment, and a torrent of objections and arguments followed, with one side demanding to know why ‘them’ alone are to be blamed, while the original lot stuck to their smoking guns.

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This is risky business. This impinges on the rights provided to the citizens of India by the Constitution (and since we as a population knows only our Fundamental Rights and not our Duties, it becomes even more important), to reside in any part of the country, look for employment anywhere. These are sacrosanct, across the country barring a few regions. And Thackeray’s Mumbai.

Crime is the genesis of development. The Industrial Revolution in Europe was where crime and vice spawned and grabbed hold of society, as people from all part thronged to the hovels that cropped up in the cities – their dolce vita being grime and crime.

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At the same time, Delhi didn’t need imports to be crime capital. The people who pull out guns and shoot when their cars are scratched, the ones who pile on to women in bars and pubs and those who drive over people, or through police barricades in their BMWs and assorted SUVs, aren’t migrants. Nor are those who burn brides. They are the ones who bring these migrants to Delhi, to build their skyscrapers, tend to their kids and labour in their houses while they party, kitty or otherwise.

In fact, I will wager my pension that if people from three specific states were either evicted, or debarred from Delhi, the crime graph would come down by 80 per cent.

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Crime comes with prosperity. The rapists of the five-year-old are doing exactly what the rest of the city, and mankind in general does – exploit the weak.

But crimes also comes through ‘students’ from abroad peddling drugs and ‘hostesses’ from the former Soviet republics adding colour to the flesh trade, again with the ‘locals’ being their partners or customers.

So to label one state for the state of affairs is naive and uneducated. Address crime and prevention. Since suggesting otherwise, adds to our ever-burgeoning list of woes.

Why is Delhi the Rape Capital of the Country?

Mili Sharma ponders over what makes Delhi the capital of this heinous crime.

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We’ve been hearing/reading/watching a lot about the rape incidents off late. I’ve been trying to figure out two things – 1) why does Delhi/NCR ranks no.1 in rape incidents as compared to southern India 2) who are these rapists.  After following the news through different media and talking to the people around me, I got an answer to this. Most of these rapists belong to either small town or other rural areas. I hardly see any Delhi-ites involved in this crime.

These places have lesser job opportunities as compared to Delhi/NCR. The education system is not very good as the standard of living is low due to less income opportunities. That’s why people from these places have been migrating to bigger cities in search of jobs. The people from smaller cities are usually very conservative when it comes to women. They prefer their women stay indoors, keep themselves covered in meters of cloth and stay away from other men around. They keep their women in the same way as a goldsmith keeps his gold (in lockers) so that no one sees it and tries to steal it. This is supposed to be a part of their ‘culture’.

When people from such places come to cities like Delhi, they see women outside their homes (which to them is beyond the acceptable boundary), working independently, wearing a variety of clothes, decking up and interacting with both the sexes. Their cultural shock in realizing that they are misfits is hidden under the garb of modernity, which in turn, is depicted by ‘getting’ a girl. Such men try to approach women even if they do not show any interest in such men. When they do not get any response, they try to force themselves on the women by sending unwanted messages, hooting at them, passing lewd remarks etc. When these acts remain ignored for long, these men feel encouraged and the resultant action is a kind of aggression which is unthinkable and unjustified.

In my opinion, such people should not be allowed into Delhi (that is, if the police is incapable of taking any other action). There is no harm in throwing these people out of Delhi. It is very similar to a teacher asking a student to leave the class if he’s creating nuisance or a father asking his rowdy son to leave the family as he is no more in the control of his family or even within self-control. Look at the changed the picture of Mumbai. This has made Mumbai a safer place for women. I have female friends living there who are not scared of going out alone during late hours. Needless to say, in Delhi I can’t image of going alone somewhere after sunset. Even a 5 year old is not safe here anymore. We all have witnessed this recently and that too, so soon after Damini’s case.

At times I wonder will there ever be a time when a girl would live her life without fearing for her safety and feel proud of being a woman instead of being scared.

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गुड़िया देश शर्मिंदा है ……..

Desh Sharminda hai

 

Satish Tehlan through this poem talks how he feels as a father of a young daughter hearing of the brutal crime against the 5-year-old in Delhi. We all are really ashamed by the societal behavior.
गुड़िया देश शर्मिंदा है ……..,

तेरा गुनाहगार अभी जिन्दा है !

मत रो लाडो तेरा दोष नहीं, 

रहा लोगों को अब होश नहीं !

तू क्यों निकली थी घर से कल, 

यहाँ ताक में हैं वहशी हर-पल !

हर तरफ दरिन्दों घूम रहे,

तेरे जैसी गुड़िया ढूंढ रहे !

तेरी पीड़ा से मै पीड़ित हूँ ,

बेटी का बाप हूँ चिंतित हूँ !

है माली और बाप की एक सोच ,

कहीं कली को ना ले कोई नोच !

मैंने बेटी को है बोल दिया, 

उसके मन में विष घोल दिया !

नज़रें परखो और कुछ भी नहीं, 

वरना तेरी भी हालत है वही…!