Tag Archives: People

Before Marriage Till Marriage!

indian marriage

By Malathy Madathilezham

Man is a social being. This is something, which we have all studied at some point of time. Thus one of the most cruel and effective forms of punishment/ torture meted out to criminals, terrorists, etc. is solitary confinement. The need to communicate and interact is something of the utmost importance to human beings in order to retain their human nature. Self-expression, exchange of ideas and organization are something’s, which we are experts at utilizing for our benefits. Thus we have groups beginning from the family to nations. We have created complex social structures, which compete and cooperate with each other. On the basis of social interactions among human beings spread over time and continents, we have established a wide variety values, norms and rituals that are the foundations of the human society.

The society keeps changing, earlier this change was at a much slower pace. Something’s, which were unacceptable, unpardonable and frowned upon, are now part and parcel of our society and nobody gives a second thought to him or her. Similarly, some accepted aspects of society are now considered a blight on society. Thus change is also an important aspect of human civilization.

This change has also affected the dynamics of men and women. May be some people have enjoyed or suffered these changes more than the other! There are of course extreme situations of women still living in the same age old conditions and bound in tradition or poverty, but in this particular discussion I would not elaborate on that. Feminism, Liberalism, Capitalism and many other ‘isms’ have contributed in parts to this change. So a woman doesn’t look at a good marriage/alliance or domestic life as the only criterion, which makes her life a success. It is definitely still one of the most important things to majority of women but education, career, self dependence, financial independence, an interesting social life are also being counted somewhere on the list.

A fairly well educated woman in her twenties wants almost everything from a good job, a handsome and loving husband, friends, a fun social life, decent salary etc. etc. She doesn’t want to have the life of her mother; she wants it to be better and bigger! Any mention that her gender makes her vulnerable is almost blasphemous. Her semi-liberalism and semi-feminism along with her ego would be a force to reckon with. She is assertive, confident and has her own opinion on everything ranging from fashion to politics. At work she may be ruthless. Efficient, competitive and aggressive she want that corner office to be hers. She looks for true love and romance but at the same time is practical when it comes to decision making…She is becoming more and more demanding it seems… ah and confused too. What is the most important? What is the priority?

Until few years ago, the man was the sole breadwinner of the family. He took on the burden of providing a good life and a better future for his children, at least in financial aspect. A well settled (government) job, a ‘good’ wife along with a sizable dowry would probably make him seem more successful back then. Now look at a twenty or thirty something man, he is equally confused. The father was feared and revered. His appreciation and love, one could only see the glimpses of. He sees his mother, always loving, most probably a housewife. She was the stable rock of his family when his father was busy working or on tours. She is the quintessence of womanhood and selflessness for him. The women his age confuse him. They are his classmates, friends, and colleagues/superiors. Equally aggressive and competitive as men, and given undue advantage at times due to they’re gender. And yet they crib about inequality! Life is becoming tough for him. A simple joke and they get offended!

He is in a reasonably good job and enjoys the weekend parties and stuff. Parents want him to marry, but is he ready for marriage? And demands from the parents of the prospective brides are also high. In addition, the question of whether or not to accept dowry. His ex gf thought he was an MCP with double standards. Yes, it is imperative for him to earn more than his wife, what will his friends and family say otherwise! He wants a workingwoman, but not a career woman. He wants to definitely have a better life than his father, who he thinks had it all easy. The option of changing jobs is open, but with the recession and all, the growth in salary is not worth it. At the same time staying in a company for more than three years may mean stagnation. May be he should go for further studies? Or is it better to get married and ‘settled’ now?

And it is in between all this confusion that suddenly a their families find a good match in each other’s families, backgrounds, etc. Its in a daze that meet each other, ask each other some questions, forgetting the important ones, which  they always wanted to.

‘Do you like her/him?’

‘Yeah she/he is okay. I would like to spend more time though.’

‘Oh sure! You will have all the time after the engagement. We need to fix a date for that though.’

After that its’ a whirlwind… Time passes so quickly .. then engagement, the thousands of calls and SMS’s, each of them trying to impress the other, share as much as possible about themselves, the apprehensions and doubts,etc etc. Then the wedding shopping, planning…

And Voila! The D-day is here. The usual confusion and mayhem prevails during the wedding also… and soon its all over or should I say its all beginning of everything!

Let me not say more now… Just

Wishing them a happy and blissful married life!

🙂

Seems Like Just Another Slap on the Wrist

By Anuj R

shutterstock_117122497-605x404

It was outrageous to view today’s headline that the juvenile involved in the Rape case will be imprisoned for 3 years.

I am sure it has left all of us with some questions. To pen it down:

1) What we require at the moment is severity in punishments to change the course of the nation and not implementing judgement based on archaic laws that we have.

2) Will 3 years of community service really change what happens in future to the women of this country. Why are we being mild where it is required to be firm and severely strict ?

3) Stats say that once in 20 minutes there have been reports of rape. So once in 20 minutes something is wrong. Does the judgement provided in any way address this?

4) Why is it that if you are less than 18 years old, you can commit the same ‘heinous’ crime and escape what you really deserve?

5) Are we just going further backward and not doing the right thing?

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to Justice everywhere” – Martin Luther King

Parental Guide To ‘Freedom’ And ‘Risk’

parental guidance

Post the gang-rape in Mumbai, a friend observed ‘thank God, I don’t have daughters’. But Jaideep Ghosh has, and he wouldn’t have it any way.

The plus of having a teenaged child is that you get tech savvy in double-quick time. But as a parent of a teenager, you also need to be able to gauge between what is too much interference, or not.

So when I got savvy to Whatsapp, I keep tabs on my daughter. But most of the time it’s to check when was the last time she was online. If the time span is anything more than two hours, I send her a message.

I am a father of daughter who commutes in to the North Campus of Delhi University from the NCR, alone. She travels the entire breadth of the city, through some of the not-so-great neighbourhoods, and beyond. I worry. But I will be damned if I tell her not to.

But while there is no question that people’s freedoms and rights are sacrosanct, some of the reactions to the Mumbai gang-rape, or any other offence, leave me a little frustrated and a little angry.

Our politicians have never been paragons of sensitivity, so their reactions are not to be jumped on with any great gusto.

At the same time, the reactions of the so-called ‘liberals’ scares me. You cannot condone, if not downright encourage, putting women in situations where they would be at risk.

I tell my daughter to be careful, not because I am trying to impinge on her liberties. I would equally tell a son to wear a helmet if he was on a bike. And I would tell them both to be back home by a reasonable time (though the interpretation of ‘reasonable’ has always been different for parents and children).

Irrespective of which country you are in, the initiative is always with the criminal. There is no system by which the police can pre-empt a crime, without prior knowledge. That is also what makes terrorist strikes so successful.

This distinction is pretty clear for me – I won’t let anyone compromise my child’s pursuit of success and happiness. At the same time, I would not accept any hysterical banshee proclamations that ‘freedom’ translates into taking unnecessary risks.

That applies particularly given the fact that we live in a society which largely, at best, just tolerates women. Men cannot handle being bettered by women, or even equalled. Take a look at how men drivers react to being passed by women. That is a classic example. So, given half a chance, they will try to force this ‘superiority’. Don’t give them that chance.

I worry. I am always keeping track of where my daughter is. She has been brought up in the rather unforgiving environs of Delhi, but that bravado and attitude can be a double-edged weapon.

But that doesn’t mean she will sit at home. She will do whatever she wants to do, but as a sensible 20-year-old, she knows where she has to draw a line. This ‘drawing a line’ seems to be an issue with many women. To them I say, get real.

That said, I wouldn’t trade having a daughter with anything else. I would wish her a happy life, as to all women. But be a little careful out there.

Sharing = Caring = Making a Difference

By Sharon Andrew, Happiness Evangelist at Happiest Minds Technologies, Bangalore

smd

The Mumbai Dabbawala’s deliver 120 tons of food each day, out of which 16 tons is uneaten.

At the same time, on Mumbai’s streets, there are two hundred thousand children who go hungry every day.

The ‘Share My Dabba’ initiative, a joint effort between the Happy Life Welfare Society and The Dabbawala Foundation, gets the leftover food in dabbas to the hungry street children using a tiny sticker and the extensive and efficient dabbawala network.

The dabbawalas separate the dabbas marked with the sticker & volunteers share the food with the hungry children.

Here’s a video on how it works: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZC1czZofyY

A simple sticker that demonstrates that SHARING = CARING.

A small gesture that makes a difference to 200,000 and more children every single day.

Food for thought.

घुलता हुआ एहसास

Sad-Love-Poem

Ankit Chandra writes this forlorn lover poem with a caveat. Don’t label him as a forlorn lover, this is just an artistic creation. Wonderfully crafted though, enjoy

सोचता तो था की शायद उसको याद करता हूँ
पर अहसास अब कुछ कम होता है

कुछ समय पहले चाहता तो उसे बहुत था
पर महसूस अब थोडा कम करता हूँ

कहीं से कुछ कम हुआ है या खुद ही ख़त्म हो रहा हूँ
पर कुछ बातों को याद करके मायूस अब थोडा कम होता हूँ

सूरज को देखने की आदत तो नहीं पड़ी है,
पर चाँद को अब कभी कभी ही देखता हूँ

किसी और का नाम तो नहीं आया है अभी जुबां पे,
पर उसका नाम ज़रूर कम लेता हूँ

देर रात तक जागना तो अभी शुरू नहीं किया है,
पर रात में अभी भी कम सोता हूँ

आँखें अभी तक सूखी तो नहीं है
पर शायद अब थोडा कम रोता हूँ..

The Rise of Indian Entrepreneurship: An Outsider’s Perspective

By Ankit Chandra

entrepeneurship

Well to begin with, I do not want to be an outsider on this for long. But be that as it may, I am not involved and hence the topic…

I am excited to see that the bumbling energy in India about entrepreneurship is shining bright.  Bright enough to be visible to me sitting in the US. I think if there has to be a healthy way of life in India, it has to come from the society and not the government. Especially when people are so cynical about what the government does. Anyways its beyond the competence of a few minds to think up the growth strategy for the entire country! Lets the collective wisdom do the evolution of thought. The government should just sit back and create an environment where the society is able to do that.

What makes me this excited is that I can see this simple process in action now:

  1. Common people, with all the humility in the word common, face issues in their daily lives.
  2. Common people hence know what problems irk them more
  3. Common people think of solutions
  4. Common people come up with enterprises to solve the issue
  5. Other common people consume the service and compensate the service/good provider

imagesAnd hence the circle of an issue and its solution was completed, with no visible sign of a government intervention. No matter how big/small the issue is, someone might want to earn a living out of fixing a problem. A win-win, where someone gets to earn money while reducing one issue in the society and everyone moves ahead!

I have begun to see an entrepreneurship fervor in India, which I see here in the US. Anyone who wants to open a startup/enteprise can work hard and open one! and thats a biig change from the erstwhile India. what is more exciting is the nature of startups. Many of these are about things which at best can be thought of as unusual, at least for India…

Here are 3 such startups I think are interesting. This list is in no way complete or exhaustive.

  1. http://www.tulliho.com : This is an awesome idea for people who wanna get Tulli! (drunk) a yelp-esque website catering to people in Indian cities, helping them find good bars and pubs.
  2. http://saleraja.com : Another site catering to the shopping needs of people, where you can get to know about sales going on in different places.
  3. http://www.babyoye.com : this site helps you buy stuff for your new kids. Sort of reinventing the buying experience with the web
  4. http://windchimes.co.in : A social media company for Indian companies to use socail media advertising

None of these companies are using the ‘outsourcing’ model. Its democracy at its best: for the people by the people. They are interesting because what they offer would have been laughed at some years ago. I can just imagine friends, parent just yelling ‘are you out of your mind’ etc etc..

I guess not anymore 🙂

Zimbabwe- India’s Achilles Heel In ODI’s?

india-vs-zimbabwe-2013

Kartik Kannan explores via stats and more why India has not been as successful as they should be in Zimbabwe. 

Picture This! South Africa and Australia have won 100% of their ODI’s played at Zimbabwe.  You’d expect the reigning ODI World Champions (India) record to be similar or close, under normal circumstances, but the truth is chillingly different. If one were to rank ODI sides based on their success percentage in Zimbabwe, India figures a poor 8th, with only Bangladesh and Kenya behind it, success ratio being only 57.14%. Over the last 21 years, India has played 21 games in Zimbabwe, losing 4 times to the host (Zimbabwe), twice to New Zealand, once each to Sri Lanka and West Indies. In the light of this statistic, whether the Indian selectors had made the right decision in selecting an inexperienced team to tour Zimbabwe? Statistics and History say no, while the Indian selectors affirm that infusing young blood would augur well for the future.

Table-1 shows how ODI sides have performed in Zimbabwe ever since Zimbabwe became a full member nation of the ICC.

Table-1 -Success % of ODI sides in matches played in Zimbabwean Soil

Played Won Lost NR Success Ratio Ranking
India in Zimbabwe 21 12 8 1 57.14 8
SL in Zimbabwe 23 18 4 1 78.26 4
Aus in Zimbabwe 7 7 0 0 100.00 1
England in Zimbabwe 17 12 4 1 70.59 5
WI in Zimbabawe 15 9 5 1 60.00 7
Pak in Zimbabwe 15 12 1 2 80.00 3
SA in Zimbabwe 8 8 0 0 100.00 1
Bangladesh in Zimbabwe 30 13 15 2 43.33 9
Kenya in Zimbabwe 13 3 8 2 23.08 10
NZ in Zimbabawe 16 10 5 1 62.50 6
Zimbabwe in Zimbabwe 154 46 97 11 29.87 Not Applicable

Digging further, the article aims to look at important factors that correlate with the Indian performances in Zimbabwe over the years, and aims to present the readers the Achilles heel that Zimbabwean soil has been for Indian cricket intermittently. Some of the important statistical cogs in India’s wheel on their Zimbabwean trips are as follows.

a) Contribution of the Top 5 Batsmen

One of the main reasons of India’s ascent in ODI’s in recent times, has been India’s batting and looking into 8 of their ODI defeats in Zimbabwe, 7 of them came when India’s top 5 batsmen have not scored enough runs. India has averaged around 228 in ODI’s on Zimbabwean soil, with the top 5 batsmen contributing 68.19% of the runs. Across all of their 21 matches, 7 of the 8 defeats in Zimbabwe have been a clear case of the top 5 batsmen’s failing to maintain an average of 68.19%, (with the contribution from the top 5 ranging from 15.28% to 64.18% in these games lost as shown in Table 2)

Table-2- Contribution % of the Top 5 batsmen when India has lost ODI’s in Zimbabwe

Game Total Runs Scored by India Top 5 Contribution % Match Result Opposition
2010-M1 285 64.56 India Lost Zimbabwe
2010-M4 268 64.18 India Lost Sri Lanka
2010-M3 194 45.36 India Lost Zimbabwe
2005-M5 276 75.72 India Lost New Zealand
2005-M1 164 15.85 India Lost New Zealand
2001-M5 274 28.47 India Lost West Indies
1998-M3 222 42.34 India Lost Zimbabwe
1997-M1 168 43.45 India Lost Zimbabwe

Excepting one occasion, whenever India’s been all out, India has lost all such matches. So it’s fair to say that once the Indian batting is into its tail, they have not managed to win any game in Zimbabwe since 1993.

When India wins, the average contribution of the top 5 have ranged between 72.94% and 98.35% -9 times out of 12, while India have still managed 3 wins despite the top order contribution having been lesser than the average of 68.19%, which underscores the importance of the number 6 and 7 slot. Table 3, analyses India’s win patterns in ODI’s on Zimbabwean soil, through the contribution of the top 5 batsmen.

Table-3- Contribution % of the Top 5 batsmen when India has won ODI’s in Zimbabwe

Match Links Total Runs Scored by India Top 5 Contribution % Match Result Opposition
2010-M2

243

98.35

India Won SL
2005-M4

255

58.04

India Won ZIM
2005-M3

279

81.36

India Won NZ
2005-M2

226

67.26

India Won ZIM
2003-WC

255

72.94

India Won ZIM
2001-M4

230

90.00

India Won WI
2001-M3

170

82.35

India Won WI
2001-M2

237

85.65

India Won ZIM
2001-M1

137

90.51

India Won ZIM
1998-M2

236

95.34

India Won ZIM
1998-M1

216

94.91

India Won ZIM
1992-M1

239

58.16

India Won ZIM

One interesting observation on Zimbabwean soil, was the success that Mohamamed Kaif,Rohit Sharma, Sachin Tendulkar and Saurav Ganguly have enjoyed on previous tours, which shows the importance of defence, technique  and flair in the top 5 batsmen, on a tour to Zimbabwe.

Table-4 Outstanding Performances by Indian Batsmen on Previous Tours to Zimbabwe

  Series Matches Runs Average S/R 50/100
Mohammed Kaif 2005 Triangular Series 5 277 92.33 71.2 2/1
Rohit Sharma 2010 Triangular Series 4 260 86.66 91.54 0/2
Sachin Tendulkar 2001 Triangular Series 5 282 141.00 82.45 2/1
Sachin Tendulkar 1998 Bi Lateral Tour 3 198 79 100.63 0/1
Saurav Ganguly 1998 Bi Lateral Tour 3 158 79 75.23 0/1

With the current team selected for Zimbabwe- Shikhar Dhawan, Rohit Sharma, Dinesh Karthik, ,Virat Kohli,Cheteshwar Pujara, Ajinkya Rahane and Suresh Raina vie for the top 5 slots, India need to find the right men for the job who contribute substantially. In recent times, at ODI’s away from home, India’s victory is largely proportional to their top 5 batsmen firing above the average ( contributing more than 68.19%), similar to Table 3, which augurs well for the side(captured in Table 5)

Table-5- India’s Top 5 and Top 7 Contribution in recent ODI matches away from Home

Match Link Runs Total Top 5 % Contribution Top 7 Contribution % Impact of Number 6 and 7 Opposition Result
2013-M1 331 75.83 92.75 16.92 South Africa WIN
2013-M2 236 96.19 96.19 0.00 West Indies WIN
2013-M3 102 97.06 97.06 0.00 Pakistan WIN
2013-M4 182 91.21 91.21 0.00 Sri Lanka WIN
2013-M5 129 69.77 95.35 25.58 England WIN
2013-M6 229 65.07 83.41 18.34 West Indies LOSS
2013-M7 187 44.39 88.24 43.85 Sri Lanka LOSS
2013-M8 311 74.92 84.24 9.32 West Indies WIN

b) The Importance of numbers 6 and 7

In Zimbabwe, India had hardly depended on numbers 6 and 7 to bail them out of crisis to win matches, except for 1 match, where India beat Zimbabwe in 2005. On occasions, when India has lost ODI’s in Zimbabwe, their numbers 6 and 7 have contributed between 25-50% of the total runs in 5 losses, but not enough to finish well.

In the last 8 ODI’s away from home, as listed in Table-5, India has relied heavily on its top 5 to win them matches, and when India’s top have scored below 70% of the total runs, India have seen their number  6 and 7, contribute substantially, but not enough to make India win. If for some reasons, India find its top order in trouble, India needs a strong number 6 and 7 to help India finish well. This is a specialized position and India will do well to test if Rahane or Rayudu can complement Ravindra Jadeja at this position, in the absence of India’s best finisher-MS Dhoni. It will be interesting to see how infusing inexperienced talent like Rayudu/Rahane in the middle order works, since India’s past attempts  in Zimbabwe, had not paid dividends. Youngsters like Samir Dighe, Reetinder Sodhi and JP Yadav have fallen by the wayside, after one flash in the pan performance, while other youngsters like Hemang Badani, Naman Ojha and Venugopala Rao had been miserable failures with the bat, in Zimbabwean conditions.

c) Pace or Spin?

India’s batsmen, have shown no preference for the pacers/seamers or spinners when it comes to forcing the runs with the run rate being constant at 4.90 against either of the types of bowlers, but have demonstrated a capacity to lose more wickets to pace with an average of 35.6 against pace, as against an average of 45.92 facing spin bowling. The upcoming Zimbabwe tour, being a bilateral series, will not have other established sides hurling down a swinging cricket ball at high pace, but will see medium pace bowlers from Zimbabwe in action. The Zimbabwean bowling, though performed well against New Zealand and Bangladesh, would need to maintain their line and length against a strong Indian batting line-up.

d) Indian Bowling

Indian bowlers have performed well in Zimbabwe, largely under the leadership of  Saurav Ganguly.  A lot of success was attributed to the fact that each time India played under Ganguly, the bowling unit was mature and managed to capture wickets. Whenever India had experimented with in-experienced bowlers on a Zimbabwean tour, India had performed badly, notably the 1997 tour and the 2010 tour. In Zimbabwe, India has heavily relied on pace than spin to bowl oppositions out. Indian Pacers have taken 89 wickets at an average of 28.85, while the spinners have toiled hard for little returns, taking 37 wickets at a rather high average of 44.76.

But one of the encouraging signs that India are seeing is that Spinners have outperformed pacers in their last tour to Zimbabwe in 2010, with 12 wickets to the 6 that the pacers took. The 2010 tour was India’s worst in terms of bowling, as India picked up only 21 wickets out of a possible 40. India’s pace department struggled for rhythm, with their 6 wickets coming at an average of 69 runs.(way above the average of 28.85 that Indian pacers have in Zimbabwe), as opposed to the 46.75 runs a wicket that the spinners conceded. On the 2010 tour, India experimented their bowling with Ashok Dinda, Umesh Yadav, Amit Mishra, Vinay Kumar and Pankaj Singh, all of whom came a cropper, largely due to collective inexperience.

The years 2001 and 2005, were the best tours India have had in Zimbabwe, when the Indian bowlers picked up 39 and 34 wickets out of a possible 50 wickets in 5 matches, while the worst tours  were 1997 and 2010, when they did not have a strong leader and had an inexperienced attack. India’s current team will miss the strength and leadership of MS Dhoni, as they deal with an interim captain and an inexperienced bowling attack.

India’s bowling arsenal this year for the Zimbabwe tour is very similar to the 1997 and 2010 tours, with no real leader of the bowling unit. India’s bowling unit sports a whole bunch of inexperienced bowlers in Shami Ahmed, Jaydev Unadkat, Mohit Sharma and Pervez Rasool.  The bowling attack will largely rely on the experience that Ravindra Jadeja and Vinay Kumar bring to the table, apart from expecting the new comers to come good.

Table 6  analyses India’s bowling in Zimbabwe by series and by bowler types.

Table 6- Indian Bowling statistics for ODI’s in Zimbabwe by tours

  Matches Total Wickets Pacers Wickets Spinners Wickets Pacer Avg Spinner Average Pace Eco Rate Spin Eco Rate
2010 Tri Series 4 21 6 12 69 46.75 5.93 4.88
2005 Tri Series 5 39 28 8 25.21 42.5 5.00 4.86
2003 CWC 1 10 7 3 14.14 24 3.58 4.24
2001 Tri Series 5 34 28 4 26.10 74.75 4.16 4.53
1998 Bi Lateral Series 3 22 12 8 32.25 36.25 4.55 5.00
1997 Bi Lateral Series 2* 2 1 1 86 37 4.82 4.63
1992 Bi Lateral Series 1 10 7 1 20.71 57 4.01 4.38
Overall 21 138 89 37 28.85 44.76 4.64 4.77

*- While 2 matches were scheduled, only match is taken for computation as the second ODI in that series in 1997 was washed out without a ball being bowled.

Based on the current form, will India’s swagger help in mowing down Zimbabwe, or will India’s inexperience lynch them at their familiar Achilles heel? Many questions show up, as India prepare for their future, in the hope that they brush aside history.