Tag Archives: Parenting

Father…Thy Name is Pillar

slide-4

Gurulakshmi Iyer-Hait writes about the two fathers he sees in her life. One her own and the other her husband and the father of her kid. Another great read this Father’s week. 

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back,

Nor a sail to take us there,

But a guiding light whose love shows us the way.

–       Anonymous

I see my husband excited when I teach my son to wish him on the Father’s Day. An excitement and shine in his eyes that has been elusive before. I can see his feelings of pride of being a DAD!! An evolutionary offshoot and the line that distinguishes him from manhood to fatherhood!!

After I had a kid, I often compared my husband with my dad. Both of them are so different from each other yet so similar. Though I was never very close to my dad and we kind of disagreed on each and every issue, I remember my dad had always counted on my decisions for him. I was always street smart for him and he never vouched my words. As a very protective dad, we were bound by many restrictions.

On the other hand my husband as a dad is very carefree when it comes to adventuring or experimenting. He has always encouraged my kid to do whatever he wants. This big ounce of a personality defines everything.

We sisters were never scared of dad’s scolding and it was real fun to fool him too. I had so many friends who were so scared of their dads and listening such telltales really surprised me. The same is the situation with my kid. He loves fooling around and pranking on his dad.

For those who felt fathers are emotional, I have two emotional dads in my house. One is my dad and the other my husband, both of them extra emotional when it comes to their kids.

However over the years I grew up, I always felt that if a family has a pillar of support that has to be dad. Our father was always a great strength to both of us. And I am very sure that my kid will also bank on his dad while he grows up for his support, financially or otherwise.

While I see two opposite fathers in my house, opposite in personalities, opposite in approach yet the love and care that they shower upon their kids is the same.

No matter Dads are always special!!

Advertisements

You Have Been A Friend, Philosopher & Guide, Thanks Dad

father day

It takes a toll to manage a son like me and he has done it with perfection. It always helps if your daddy becomes your best buddy and he certainly turned one. Here’s for him with the caveat that not just one day but even 365 in a year is less to celebrate a papa like him. You certainly are the best. 

I was one of those troubled boy kid who was more scared of her mom than anything on the planet. My mom is one stickler for perfection and let me be frank, I was not even close to one. I would say I am still a work-in-progress but in those days I was worse. It was my dad then who would spring out of nowhere to save me from my mom’s wrath when I would not do my homework, not be up-to-date with my class write-ups or do anything wrong. If he could not manage saving me because sometimes it could get tough he would wear his slippers and move out of home because he for one could not see me cry. That is my earliest memory of my dad’s saving me qualities.

Things went ahead and I grew up only to become more naughty outside home. Hitting the ball out of the park and breaking glasses became a habit and so did people turning up to my home asking for a blanket ban on me playing cricket anywhere near their houses. He would though pay up all the time saying “he would play, what he breaks you can repair, take money but he would play”.

I don’t remember ever asking my mom for extra money because I knew she would decline thinking I would misuse. My father always tended the currency to me irrespective of the purpose. I remember asking him for Rs. 5000 during my last week of MBA because I was dating the most beautiful girl I had ever seen (this was what I had said to him) and he sent Rs 10000.

Things came to such an extent that I started discussing things which ideally no boy my age used to discuss with their fathers. My friends and I would go for a smoking joint (I still do not smoke or drink) and my father would know where I am. This was trouble for everyone else because my father would also know who smokes and drinks and who does not.

He never curbed my natural instincts, not even when I said I want to go out of home to prove myself. I am a single son and I know how important it is for him to see me. Till then it was like a routine for him to see me daily and suddenly I dropped a bomb. He though as usual allowed me the experiment and here I am struggling to make a mark even after 5-years of being away from him. He probably knew this and also the fact that someday I would be back with him, to share food from his plate and to take a bite of snack from his hand.

It was not that we never disagreed. The greedy person that I am, we never agreed with his way of business, where ethics and morality always stood ahead than any amount of money. His peers went way ahead of him in terms of money and social respect (which these days is proportionate to the size of the wallet) and he kept talking of good and bad karma. It was only when these great man as I always thought of them because of their come-what-may make money attitude fell, and took with them their entire families, did I realise what my father always meant when he quoted Warren Buffet vis-a-vis my example of Mr. Dhirubhai Ambani.

Today as I am on the verge of turning on the wrong side of the 20’s I sometimes feel could I be a tenth as good as he is? Naah, I don’t think so. I am just not confident I could because the two biggest qualities of his, sacrifice and patience, are things I lack totally.

I could write a book on our relationship but would rather sum it up with this beautiful poem from Louisa Mansfield

DAD,
When i was born,
You were there to catch me when i fall, whenever and wherever.
When i said my first words,
You were there for me,
to teach me the whole dictionary if need be.
When i took my first steps,
You were there to encourage me on.
When i had my first day at school,
you were there to give me advice and help me with my homework.
I still havent finished school,
or walked down the aisle, or had my first child.
But i know you will be there for me through all these times and more, the good and bad.
So i just wrote this to say ‘I LOVE YOU DAD!!!’

Thank You Dad! For Everything

dad

Anshuman Sharvesh continues Father’s Day celebrations by thanking his dad for everything he has done for him. He rewinds his life a bit to figure out three occasions when his father made a heroic dash for him. 

Person: Beta, whom do you love the most, mom or dad?

Child: Mom (without any hesitation)

Person: and why?

Child: Bcoz she love me the most, dad is strict.

It reminded me of myself and my childhood days as all the answers he gave were just replica of mine or can say of every guy his age. But if someone fires this question in a slightly different manner, like who has sacrificed the most for you, I will say my dad, with all due respect to mama.

The strictness, disciplined life and even the slaps that I used to receive have made me a better person. Today, when we here at Mission Sharing Knowledge, celebrate the entire week as Father’s Week its a pleasure to share a few short stories/incidences that have taught me lessons of life.

Police at my house:

It was a bright sunny day and as all children my age do, I was playing cricket after the school hours. Because of a mishap, I got involved in a brawl and another guy, older than me slapped me, just like the Harbhajan-Sreesanth incident. Unlike Sreesanth though, I retaliated, picked up a stone and threw it on him. He was left bleeding with blood oozing out of his mouth. He reported that to his father who in-turn came to my house with the police. Seeing the mob dad asked me to narrate the whole story which I did. He politely asked me to join my mom in the room and handled the situation all by himself. I still remember the loud slap that evening but I also remember the fact that after the slap I have never used violence to feed my anger.

The day I failed in my 10th Pre-Board Examination:

The result day, a dreadful one and more frightful if you have failed in two of the papers. I got my result and went straight back home. I told my mom everything and although she was furious but seeing me disappointed, she consoled me. Then the real thing began as we waited for Dad to return because it was his signatures that was needed for the result sheet to be handed over back. He came in late that day and after having dinner I gathered all my courage and gave him the mark sheet. After having a detailed analysis he said one thing that was quite touching and inspirational and that was ”beta bus 70 aur lana hai 3 mahine hai, hojayega” .

My break up:

Yeah I know what you guys must have been thinking. What a guy I am? But these things were in my closet for a while now and telling you all this is only making me more comfortable about my past.

As the girl in my life bid me goodbye, I was left devastated. It was the end of the world, 2012 (which came and passed without a shock had actually happened for me way before the calendars touched the date). Like SRK of Kal Ho Na Ho, I cornered myself away from everyone. Dad came to me and said a single thing to me and that was “aaisa hota hai,normal baat hai sabke sath hota hai….bete now you are a grown up boy”. No really, I know this was unusual but this is what verbatim happened.

That hard slap, the unusual encouragement and the weirdest consolation that you have ever heard helped me to be a better man.

I thank you dad for everything….love u the most and if given a chance will change things you did not like of me…I love my dad the most!!!!!

FATHER – Every Child’s First Superhero

Superhero Father and Son

We kickstart our one week Father’s Day carnival by saluting every child’s first superhero in try Ganesh Subramanian style. 

For every child, his or her dad

Is a unique miracle which no one else have had

Seeing the child happy made him smile

He loved the baby face devoid of any guile

He always hid his sorrow

But never lost sight of his child’s tomorrow

He played elephant to his naughty kid

Even though his back ached which he deliberately hid

He never let his child feel deprived

And made sure that the lil’ one’s dreams never died

Easy money was a rarity in his days

But for his kid he saved more than what his job pays

He may age and may become weak

Our support and help he may not seek

Still he’s our most treasured icon of sacrifice

Which we should remind ourselves when we eat every morsel of rice

Dear lovable father

Like you, there is no another

We salute you, our role model

Without you, our lives would be difficult to foretell

fathers day

The SLAP – A Short Story

slap

By Ganesh Subramanian

It was a wet evening. It always has been so at this time of the year. Puddles of water everywhere showed the intensity with which the monsoon had unleashed itself. Now after a brief respite, the dark clouds above seemed ready for another torrential downpour. Arjun was on his evening stroll in the nearby park. Birds were chirping and the setting sun was playing hide and seek with the dark clouds. The mud, the wet mud produced the pleasant smell that Arjun always loved. However, today nothing seemed to ease the anxiety that he was going through.

His mind kept playing the telephonic conversation that he had with Natasha an hour back. All she said was “See you at the park today at 6. I am afraid that I don’t have the best of the news to tell you. Be prepared”. What was she going to tell? Did I hurt her someway? Did her interview flop bigtime? Thousands of questions were running through his mind at the rate second only to the speed of light. Arjun tried to calm his mind down. But the thought refused to go away. Frustrated at being unable to control his own thought center, Arjun sighed and looked at his watch. It was 5.50 pm. Natasha should be here in another 10 mins.

Arjun looked at the curly haired boy playing with his sister at some distance. He smiled to himself. It reminded him of his childhood days. He reminisced how he used to always tease her sister and make her cry. “Hey Arjun, been waiting for a long time?” The unmistakable female voice, the voice that he has been hearing for the better part of the last two years, shook him up from his reverie. He turned back. It was Natasha, as beautiful as ever. Her well toned figure evolved from regular workouts at the gym only accentuated her beauty. The black dress she wore today seemed to perfectly gel with the dark clouds above. “Hi Natasha, I came here half an hour back. So what was it that you wanted to talk about?” replied Arjun in his typical no-nonsense style.

Natasha sighed and took a deep breath unsure of how to say what she wanted to say. Summoning up the courage, she finally said, “I think this will not work out, Arjun. I tried convincing dad and mom. They are not willing to go ahead with our relationship. I also need to think about my future. Dilip is handsome, rich and well-mannered. I have decided to settle down in life with him. My parents also like him. So I am sorry, Arjun. It’s over”.

Arjun’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Almost on the verge of breaking down, Arjun stammered for words. He prayed that he didn’t hear it. “Wh..What do you mean, Natasha? What about the two years that we spent together in love and lived for each other? What about…”. “Look here, Arjun” Natasha interrupted him “I am sick and tired of convincing dad and mom and arguing your case. Your current state doesn’t impress anyone. I have often tried to tell you to not go behind your stupid dream of film making and take up some job at a lower pay. But you never listened to me. I can’t wait any longer for you to come around.

Arjun now lost his composure. “How dare you think that my dream is stupid? All along I believed that you, more than anyone else, will understand my struggle and will be my companion in this difficult journey of mine. How wrong was I! So now it is all about money, comfort and luxury is it? You vile woman!

Natasha retorted sharply “Look at yourself Arjun. You are a loser. No woman in her sane sense would want to live with you. With you and your wild goose chase of your dream, I will remain consigned to poverty for eternity. Thank God that I took the right decision. Living with you would have never made me happy. Unless you change yourself, neither do I see you getting married to anyone, nor do I think that anyone would want to have kids with you”. The last statement was enough for Arjun to lose his temper. His anger and emotions came out like a deluge. SLAP! Natasha was stunned for a moment. Her otherwise milky white cheeks now looked a pale crimson in colour.

“Don’t you dare utter one more word, you money-thirsty idiot. Get out of my sight and out of my life. Go to your ATM, Dilip. Whatever else happens or doesn’t happen. I promise you this. I will be a successful film maker one day and I will be more successful than your corporate joker Dilip”. Saying so, Arjun left the place. The skies opened as if it was waiting for this opportune moment. Natasha was left staring at the receding form of Arjun in the distance and rubbing her cheeks.

Copyright Statement: The story is proprietary material of the author and any attempt to publish or reprint the story in any other form without the prior permission of the author will be liable for legal action.

माँ…

mother poem cover

Abhinav Singh continues the Mothers Week special with this heart touching poem.

एक शब्द ही नहीं,
ममता का रूप हो तुम|
हर कदम मिलने वाली,
छाँव और धुप हो तुम|
भर दे जो जीवन को,
जिस प्रेम एवं आशिर्वाद से,
वो एहसास हो तुम|
क्युं लगे मेरी माँ ,
की कहीं आसपास हो तुम|

मुश्किलों में तुम हो सहारा,
एक अपना है हमारा|
जिसने ये जीवन सवारा,
वो एहसास हो तुम|
क्युं लगे मेरी माँ,
की कहीं आसपास हो तुम|

हमारी नींद जिनकी,
जागती आँखों में सोती|
जो हमारे कष्टों में,
पलपल रोती|
जन्म ही नहीं,
जीवन भी दिया तुमने|
इसलिए ख़ास हो तुम|
क्युं लगे मेरी माँ,
की कहीं आसपास हो तुम|

Thank Her The Special Way This Mothers Day

Mom_Loves_me_by_garang76

While you must be wondering on what to give your mother on the Mothers day, Prachi Sharma suggests 5 emotional gifts that would pleasure her heart more than any material ones.
1. Make her feel special for making you wise: So do you even know where and how did you became all this intelligent? Where did the first few parts of wisdom came from? It clearly came from the person whose body you were a part of. It was her who made you understand the difference between a real sweet dish and a soap you thought was an ice-cream. It was her who made you differentiate between the good and bad. Tell her how all that made you the person you are today. She will feel more proud and happy then if you gift her a bouquet of exclusive roses.
2. Tell her you would get all that she sacrificed for you: I know this as a witness that mothers (especially the ones in he middle class) in general sacrifice a lot to get their children the best they can. They sacrifice sarees so that you can buy two more pair of clothes, they sacrifice holidays so that your excursion trips don’t get spoilt for no budgets. Promise her today that no matter what happens henceforth, one of your primary ambitions in life would be to get her all that she ever desired to have.
3. Tell her how you felt great when she celebrated your achievements: Remember the first time you came third in class and no one including your father thought you did something good. Who smiled at you then? I would answer my mom did. She not only smiled, she made me awesome food that I loved. She also praised me in front of my relatives. It was her who made me feel that I also command some value. It is the confidence that I carry from there which has made me the one I am today. Tell her how she made you what you are by celebrating your achievements and giving you confidence.
4. Tell her that had it not been for her you wouldn’t have been able to stand challenges: I came back battered one day from school. I was scolded badly by a teacher for no mistake of mine. You know what happened next. My mom actually went to school, opened up the case, got the facts corrected and re-instated my position the correct way. No one else cared and had it not been for her, I would have seriously felt low on confidence facing my class and that teacher all the time after that. This is just a one-off. In all such cases it is the mom who weathers the storm for you and makes your path clear. Thank her for that.
5. Tell her you thank her for the right path: I was not the only one who could have gone ashtray. We all land at an age where we can. I also made mistakes but thankfully had a mother who had the saddle in her control pretty tight. When I was just entering youth that control looked like I was being caged. Today though I see the value. I thank her for that and am sure you would like to do that too.
Ask a kid without a mom what and how does he/she feels like? You will immediately understand the higher pedestal that you sit on. Don’t waste any time as life is highly unpredictable. Make the most precious women in your life feel special because when you first felt special about yourself it was she who celebrated the most.

mommy-and-me-9