Tag Archives: Mumbai

Conflicts for a New Mommy

Antara Roy debunks some popular myths about motherhood.

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So finally, he arrived!! After the 9 months long drill, I couldn’t wait to take him in my arms… It was different, he was red like a tomato, eyes tightly shut by the heavy eyelids; felt like a little mountain baby in my very eastern bong hands. I was a first-time mom, and it was the first time I held such a tiny creature. I was beyond elated and blissfully unaware of the days and nights ahead!! But that story of how I embraced motherhood is for my journals to bear. Here I am more interested in bawling around how a new age mommy deals with her baby, her house, her hubby and her work… oh!! Did I forget to write Indian?? Let me reframe then; ‘I am more interested in bawling around how a new age Indian mommy deals with her baby, her house, her hubby and her work.’

Why such emphasis on Indian, you ask? Simply, because we have got it too easy; it’s too easy to outsource and delegate. Baby Bathing-outsourced, cooking-outsourced, baby massage- outsourced; you name it and it can get outsourced. Where else in this whole wide world can you find this luxury? But again, luxury ensures a cost. Our traditional society has designs for a new mommy already made. And thus it is the tryst of this modern mommy to understand, embrace and somewhat rebel (ah, the best) these designs…

Myth: eat limited after delivery, especially water as it leads to obesity…

Really, and then what… Drink ghee and full fat milk which will keep you lean?? Eating moderate helps, but not limited. Eat what you have eaten all your life. Do not restrict. If you are breastfeeding you need a lot of strength from proteins and stamina from carbs. No point shying away from it. Pictures are evidence enough that even Aishwarya Rai didn’t!!

Myth: beer and wine helps in lactation…

How much so ever I wanna scream ‘it’s true and I love it’, sadly it isn’t true!! Though one glass in a couple of weeks won’t kill anyone, yet ensure you breast feed after a couple of hours of drinking it. Let your body get enough time to absorb and break alcohol, before it reaches the baby.

Myth: no rotis/chapattis/breads of any sort for 40 days after delivery

This is one of my favourites that I heard of. Apparently wheat is not good as it will lengthen the time taken for one to heal from delivery. Come on people, use logic to your limited knowledge of science. Whole-wheat is the best kind of carb you should subject your body to for the first few weeks after delivery. It is one magic ingredient that will heal your body as well as give stamina for you to do the onerous task of feeding and caring for a newborn.

Myth: post-partum depression is for the weak hearted.

And the weak hearted can be easily sorted out because they have 2 noses??!! Baby blues happen and you are bound to feel it one way or other. One stray comment on skin colour or the shape of nose can put you off or lift you up. Trust me, better days are up ahead. And there is no shame in owning up and doing the right thing.

Saving the best for the last…

Myth: baby boys put in disposable diapers turn out to be eunuchs.

Oh goodness!! I feel like taking a bat to run after these so called educated people suggesting these in a cosmo city like Mumbai. Where did our education system fail? How come people are so blissfully unaware of biology of our bodies?? Though using disposables will blow out a huge hole in your pocket and ozone layer, but u will surely get grandkids to put on cloth diapers!! :-p

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Having mentioned about cloth diapers, if you are a mommy and you read till this point, you might wanna try out these amazingly innovative products afloat in the markets of today. It’s a completely washable diaper, designed to leave kids dry on skin, while soaking up the pee and poop and keeping it in without visible accidents. It’s leak-proof, adorable to look at and very cost effective in the long run!! If you need more info about these, write in a comment and I will get back to you!!

Eat well, stay loved and spread care. Cheers!!

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Parental Guide To ‘Freedom’ And ‘Risk’

parental guidance

Post the gang-rape in Mumbai, a friend observed ‘thank God, I don’t have daughters’. But Jaideep Ghosh has, and he wouldn’t have it any way.

The plus of having a teenaged child is that you get tech savvy in double-quick time. But as a parent of a teenager, you also need to be able to gauge between what is too much interference, or not.

So when I got savvy to Whatsapp, I keep tabs on my daughter. But most of the time it’s to check when was the last time she was online. If the time span is anything more than two hours, I send her a message.

I am a father of daughter who commutes in to the North Campus of Delhi University from the NCR, alone. She travels the entire breadth of the city, through some of the not-so-great neighbourhoods, and beyond. I worry. But I will be damned if I tell her not to.

But while there is no question that people’s freedoms and rights are sacrosanct, some of the reactions to the Mumbai gang-rape, or any other offence, leave me a little frustrated and a little angry.

Our politicians have never been paragons of sensitivity, so their reactions are not to be jumped on with any great gusto.

At the same time, the reactions of the so-called ‘liberals’ scares me. You cannot condone, if not downright encourage, putting women in situations where they would be at risk.

I tell my daughter to be careful, not because I am trying to impinge on her liberties. I would equally tell a son to wear a helmet if he was on a bike. And I would tell them both to be back home by a reasonable time (though the interpretation of ‘reasonable’ has always been different for parents and children).

Irrespective of which country you are in, the initiative is always with the criminal. There is no system by which the police can pre-empt a crime, without prior knowledge. That is also what makes terrorist strikes so successful.

This distinction is pretty clear for me – I won’t let anyone compromise my child’s pursuit of success and happiness. At the same time, I would not accept any hysterical banshee proclamations that ‘freedom’ translates into taking unnecessary risks.

That applies particularly given the fact that we live in a society which largely, at best, just tolerates women. Men cannot handle being bettered by women, or even equalled. Take a look at how men drivers react to being passed by women. That is a classic example. So, given half a chance, they will try to force this ‘superiority’. Don’t give them that chance.

I worry. I am always keeping track of where my daughter is. She has been brought up in the rather unforgiving environs of Delhi, but that bravado and attitude can be a double-edged weapon.

But that doesn’t mean she will sit at home. She will do whatever she wants to do, but as a sensible 20-year-old, she knows where she has to draw a line. This ‘drawing a line’ seems to be an issue with many women. To them I say, get real.

That said, I wouldn’t trade having a daughter with anything else. I would wish her a happy life, as to all women. But be a little careful out there.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbai Dobara – Review

By Ankush Kumar

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One of the reasons why the sales of ‘Pass pass’ slumped at its launch was the movie Yaadein. Never in the history of entertainment a movie as lame as that was made, but the makers of painkillers had a smile everytime the movie was screened at any theatre in India. Once upon a time in Mumbai dobara is no different.

Premise: An extremely unique story of two friends falling for the same girl.

Plot: Well! They Lost it!

Acting: Over the top, caricaturish & Lousy.

Citizen Kane moment: A few scenes like Akshay Kumar’s bank sequence or the tayab Ali song and possibly the background music.

Kela moments: Sans the above three the entire movie.

Technical Aspect: As usual brilliant by bollywood standards, gaudy by our western counterparts.

Take home: Acting by Pitobash and Sonali Bendre.

Leave Behind: The dialogues, Rajat Arora tries too hard this time. The plot if there was any, acting a huge let down by the main cast and a disappointing result to a brilliant first part.

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Sharing = Caring = Making a Difference

By Sharon Andrew, Happiness Evangelist at Happiest Minds Technologies, Bangalore

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The Mumbai Dabbawala’s deliver 120 tons of food each day, out of which 16 tons is uneaten.

At the same time, on Mumbai’s streets, there are two hundred thousand children who go hungry every day.

The ‘Share My Dabba’ initiative, a joint effort between the Happy Life Welfare Society and The Dabbawala Foundation, gets the leftover food in dabbas to the hungry street children using a tiny sticker and the extensive and efficient dabbawala network.

The dabbawalas separate the dabbas marked with the sticker & volunteers share the food with the hungry children.

Here’s a video on how it works: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZC1czZofyY

A simple sticker that demonstrates that SHARING = CARING.

A small gesture that makes a difference to 200,000 and more children every single day.

Food for thought.

प्यार या आकर्षण?

love or attraction

शीला चित्रवंशि कि कलम से

प्यार है या फिर मात्र छलावा
भ्रम है या फिर दिखावा
युगों से लोग इसमें फंसते चले आ रहे हैं
ऋषि-मुनि भी तो कहाँ बच पाये हैं?
किवंदंतियां भी सदियों से चली आ रही हैं
इस युग में भी तो भरमार है

प्यार है या एक आकर्षण,
पहले तो कुछ सच्चाई भी नज़र आती थी
पर आज तो इसका रूप ही बदल गया है
प्यार एक आकर्षण मात्र ही रह गया है
न ही कोई सच्चाई न ही स्थिरता है
बस बुराइयों का ढेर बनता चला जा रहा है
यह कहाँ कोई समझ पा रहा है
युगों से तो प्यार की गरिमा व ठहराव की चर्चा भी चली आ रही है
उसके भी उदहारण हैं बहुत
पर कहाँ किसी को दिखाई देती है?
सच्चाई की प्रतिबिम्ब की झलक अंत तक दिखाई देती है
खुशबू बिखेरती है, चारों तरफ़ हवा का रुख फैलाती है
उसकी गरिमा को जानिए, गहराइयों तक पहुँचिये,
निष्ठा, गरिमा, व स्थिरता का सच्चा स्वरूप नज़र आता है
पर झूठा आकर्षण, झूठ का आधार जीवन को नकारात्मक बना देता है

कहाँ गया वह युग, कहाँ गए वो लोग,
जिनका ज़रा भी इस ओर ध्यान नहीं जाता
बदलाव आते हैं हर युग में,
पर आप कितने पानी में हैं यह सबको समझ में आता है
झाँक कर देखो तो प्यार में निष्ठां, प्रतिष्ठा,
स्थिरता एवं एक अटूट सम्बन्ध का कितना अच्छा सुखद एहसास नज़र आता है
जो लोग समझना चाहते नहीं हैं,
और बिगड़े हुए रूपों की ओर निरंतर भाग रहे हैं
यह छलावा नहीं तो और क्या है?
भ्रम नहीं तो और क्या है?

Goan Fish Curry

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Goa, the land of sun-kissed beaches and pristine blue waters, is India’s tourist haven. It is also a haven for seafood lovers. Those who love seafood, Goa will never let you down. From salmon to bombil, from squids to crabs- the quintessential Goan delicacies will always delight a gourmet. Since, Goa offers a galore of delicacies. Rice and fish curry is one of the most popular dishes of Goa. Here’s the quick and simple recipe.

pomfretIngredients

  • Bhetki or Pomfret. One can also use bombil/ Bombay Duck
  • Cooking Oil 3 table spoons
  • Ginger-Garlic Paste
  • Coconut Milk around 75 ml
  • Red Chilli Paste
  • Garam Masala
  • Salt to Taste

Method

Fry some bhetki fillet or pomfret and keep aside. In a wok add oil, coconut milk, ginger, garlic and red chilli paste and stir for at least five to seven minutes. When broth is thick add the fried fish, salt and a pinch of garam masala. It will be ready in minutes. Enjoy the cooked fish with steamed rice.

RIP Ex College Heroes

By Joybrato Dutta

What is it about college that we love the most? Education? Women? Strangers? Or is it the sense of power that suddenly gets bestowed on us. The power to handle situations. The power to stay unshackled. The power to write our destiny.

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This post is not about preaching the philosophies of life, nor is it about a moment of reminiscence after gulping a few shots. This is about mourning the death of my hero. The hero within me. Who was brutally murdered by maturity, responsibility and EMI.

The ‘bring it on’ attitude during college days inspired me to win, to beat the opposition mercilessly. Today, it quietly whispers ‘Survive’ in my ears.

Hostel life was all about being a strong bond. There was a reason day-boarders didn’t mess with hostelites. There was a reason day-boarders never dared to sit on a chair which had ‘H’ inscribed on it. Such a strong bond comes from trust. People say it takes a lot of time to build trust. But in hostel it’s different. It’s almost like it’s written on their faces that you can trust them. And of course after seeing each other naked for a year you can trust each other with your life. (Is that why a man trusts his wife? Sorry I got digressed)

Fearlessness is another quality that strengthens the bond. The biggest challenges – the Warden, the Dean, the HOD, the nerdy day-boarder who does not believe in the term ‘mass bunk’, the seductive vamp who invariably tries to loosen the bond, can be dealt easily. Of course the seductive vamp problem is dealt differently.

College taught us to be fearless. Fuck logic, fuck ethics. Just be fearless. Just support your friend. Precisely, why I could go watch a movie with my girlfriend during weekdays, because there was a fearless friend ready to give proxy.  Precisely, why I could spend all my money on a stupid gift, because a friend will always give me the money to recharge my SIM card.

We never cared that we could be expelled. With exams round the corner we would still bunk college and go out for trips. We didn’t have the fear of empty wallets. Yes those were the days we did things we felt like.

n563520795_429786_6491Today, I have a job. I stay in an apartment in Mumbai where the rent is more than what my pocket-money used to be. I have narrowed down my objectives to that one dream. To achieve that I need money.

There have been times I felt like reacting with as much anger I had then. But today I am scared. Scared of losing my job, scared of not being able to pay my rent, scared of not being able to pay my EMIs.

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Ya, post college we all get a make-over.

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Today that bond hasn’t weakened but we all do have second thoughts. Today most of us have shouldered one family-responsibility at least. A lot of us have to repay the education loan.

Today we have learnt to take a lot of shit. We’ve learnt to bow heads. We’ve learnt to compromise, to lose, which often is the self respect. Today I feel I am no different from that ass-licking nerdy I hated during college.

We all have a role model. A hero, who inspires us, teaches us to overcome hurdles, gives us the strength to believe in a second chance and to stand up for it. A hero who teaches us to fight for what we believe.