Tag Archives: Marriage

The Love Cartridge: The Unforgiving Bullet – Chapter 6

By Joybrato Dutta

the love catridge

Day – Friday, June 13, 2008
Time – 8:30 PM

Harsh regained consciousness. Vikrant was not at home. On a post-it he had mentioned that he is going out for some work and will be back by 9. Vikrant had left his car for Harsh. Harsh took the keys and ran out of the house. He was driven by anger, by fear, by sadness, by vengeance but at the end it was regret that overshadowed every other emotion. He stopped at a medical store and bought a bottle of rat poison and drove away to his house in Birsanagar.

Neha was already there, hiding behind a tree, waiting for him. She followed Harsh as he climbed up the stairs. She hid herself as soon as Harsh was unlocking the door. Vengeance blindfolded her. She blocked the lock.

Harsh didn’t realise. He poured the tablets in a bottle of Old Monk. He switched on his laptop and started typing.

Neha knew this was the opportunity. She entered the room and shot Harsh on the head. She went closer to check his body. She looks at Riya’s photo fires the remaining 5 bullets.

Cartridge Over!!!

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Before Marriage Till Marriage!

indian marriage

By Malathy Madathilezham

Man is a social being. This is something, which we have all studied at some point of time. Thus one of the most cruel and effective forms of punishment/ torture meted out to criminals, terrorists, etc. is solitary confinement. The need to communicate and interact is something of the utmost importance to human beings in order to retain their human nature. Self-expression, exchange of ideas and organization are something’s, which we are experts at utilizing for our benefits. Thus we have groups beginning from the family to nations. We have created complex social structures, which compete and cooperate with each other. On the basis of social interactions among human beings spread over time and continents, we have established a wide variety values, norms and rituals that are the foundations of the human society.

The society keeps changing, earlier this change was at a much slower pace. Something’s, which were unacceptable, unpardonable and frowned upon, are now part and parcel of our society and nobody gives a second thought to him or her. Similarly, some accepted aspects of society are now considered a blight on society. Thus change is also an important aspect of human civilization.

This change has also affected the dynamics of men and women. May be some people have enjoyed or suffered these changes more than the other! There are of course extreme situations of women still living in the same age old conditions and bound in tradition or poverty, but in this particular discussion I would not elaborate on that. Feminism, Liberalism, Capitalism and many other ‘isms’ have contributed in parts to this change. So a woman doesn’t look at a good marriage/alliance or domestic life as the only criterion, which makes her life a success. It is definitely still one of the most important things to majority of women but education, career, self dependence, financial independence, an interesting social life are also being counted somewhere on the list.

A fairly well educated woman in her twenties wants almost everything from a good job, a handsome and loving husband, friends, a fun social life, decent salary etc. etc. She doesn’t want to have the life of her mother; she wants it to be better and bigger! Any mention that her gender makes her vulnerable is almost blasphemous. Her semi-liberalism and semi-feminism along with her ego would be a force to reckon with. She is assertive, confident and has her own opinion on everything ranging from fashion to politics. At work she may be ruthless. Efficient, competitive and aggressive she want that corner office to be hers. She looks for true love and romance but at the same time is practical when it comes to decision making…She is becoming more and more demanding it seems… ah and confused too. What is the most important? What is the priority?

Until few years ago, the man was the sole breadwinner of the family. He took on the burden of providing a good life and a better future for his children, at least in financial aspect. A well settled (government) job, a ‘good’ wife along with a sizable dowry would probably make him seem more successful back then. Now look at a twenty or thirty something man, he is equally confused. The father was feared and revered. His appreciation and love, one could only see the glimpses of. He sees his mother, always loving, most probably a housewife. She was the stable rock of his family when his father was busy working or on tours. She is the quintessence of womanhood and selflessness for him. The women his age confuse him. They are his classmates, friends, and colleagues/superiors. Equally aggressive and competitive as men, and given undue advantage at times due to they’re gender. And yet they crib about inequality! Life is becoming tough for him. A simple joke and they get offended!

He is in a reasonably good job and enjoys the weekend parties and stuff. Parents want him to marry, but is he ready for marriage? And demands from the parents of the prospective brides are also high. In addition, the question of whether or not to accept dowry. His ex gf thought he was an MCP with double standards. Yes, it is imperative for him to earn more than his wife, what will his friends and family say otherwise! He wants a workingwoman, but not a career woman. He wants to definitely have a better life than his father, who he thinks had it all easy. The option of changing jobs is open, but with the recession and all, the growth in salary is not worth it. At the same time staying in a company for more than three years may mean stagnation. May be he should go for further studies? Or is it better to get married and ‘settled’ now?

And it is in between all this confusion that suddenly a their families find a good match in each other’s families, backgrounds, etc. Its in a daze that meet each other, ask each other some questions, forgetting the important ones, which  they always wanted to.

‘Do you like her/him?’

‘Yeah she/he is okay. I would like to spend more time though.’

‘Oh sure! You will have all the time after the engagement. We need to fix a date for that though.’

After that its’ a whirlwind… Time passes so quickly .. then engagement, the thousands of calls and SMS’s, each of them trying to impress the other, share as much as possible about themselves, the apprehensions and doubts,etc etc. Then the wedding shopping, planning…

And Voila! The D-day is here. The usual confusion and mayhem prevails during the wedding also… and soon its all over or should I say its all beginning of everything!

Let me not say more now… Just

Wishing them a happy and blissful married life!

🙂

The Love Cartridge: The Mistimed Bullet – Chapter 4

By Joybrato Dutta

the love catridge

Day – Thursday, June 12, 2008
Time – 10:30 PM

Neha drives the car through water-clogged streets as Riya checks her bag. “Didi kya dhund rahi ho?”

“Bas check kar rahi hun, make-up ka saara saaman liya ki nahin” she chuckles as she says.

Rain starts pouring heavily as they get closer to their destination. Riya is constantly glued to her phone and her face gets tensed.

“Kya hua didi, pareshan kyun ho rahi ho” Neha inquires

“Harsh apna phone nahin utha raha hai” Riya answers in a tensed way

“Uffo Didi woh drive kar raha hoga, usey bhi utni hi jaldi hai jitni ki humey”

She drives through a forsaken lane and parks the car behind the temple. As soon as Neha gets off the car something hits her head and she falls unconscious on the ground.

After sometime Neha regains consciousness. She finds herself in the car. She hurries out of the car and tries to find Riya. Tries Riya’s number. But phone was switched off. She looks at the watch; it was 11:15 PM. She cries out loud. But all she heard was her echo. She runs all around the temple. She looks for Riya everywhere possible. Her worst nightmare came true. And she had no idea who to call. She tried calling Harsh, but he didn’t answer his call. She didn’t have Vikrant’s number. She cries helplessly.

Suddenly she notices Riya’s bag at a distance. She runs towards it, but only finds Riya’s burnt clothes. She carefully looks on the ground and notices blood. Horror strikes her.

Fear and sadness crept into her. She runs towards her car. Suddenly she sees Harsh. She notices his blood stained hands, and hides behind a bush. Harsh’s shirt was drenched in blood. He was searching the car frantically. Neha’s eyes were glued to Harsh’s blood stained hands. Assumptions turned into convictions

“It was him. He killed Riya? But why?” she thought to herself.

Vengeance swept away the fear in her. She could not believe her eyes. She came out of her hiding as soon as Harsh left. She sat in her car and drove away as fast as she could. A solemn oath strengthened her: “You will pay for this Harsh”

The Great Indian (Before) Marriage Tamasha – Part 3

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

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Not to forget that this blog is attributed to the tamashaa that ensues in every house (almost every house), there are quite a few funny snippets that must be highlighted in the process.

In a lot of profiles that I have scanned, in the “about me” section, there would be details of the parents, brothers, sisters and the whole gamut of people in the family; but no information about the guy whatsoever. Poor guys! In some profiles, even their pet makes their presence felt but not the guy in question!! Heck, why is there a separate space for family details then?!?

Nearly 40% of the profiles that are available on these matrimonial sites have very funny descriptions – descriptions that use only adjectives (and I mean only adjectives) to describe how “good” the guy is. The most common adjectives that one would find are “nice, loving, caring, jovial…” and the likes. I thought all of us fit into those adjectives!! It’s so obvious that I don’t understand the reason why it is being stated! Ooh, the best part is their expectation for a “homely” girl. Here’s the dictionary meaning of the highlighted word:

HOME.LY / ˈhōmlē/

Adjective

(of a person) Unattractive in appearance

Synonyms – plain/simple/unsightly

Now we know what every guy wants!!! Bu ha ha ha *evil*

Most of the guys, on their profiles state that they don’t smoke or drink. But when you do start talking to them, they accept that they are social drinkers/smokers. Why hide it?!? Accept the facts as they are – it’s after all one’s personal choice and in today’s world, its acceptable and most of the girls don’t mind it at all. As the Tamil proverb goes “aayiram poi solli oru kalyaanam pannalaam” (read: One can say a 1000 lies to get married), I guess this just adds onto their bag of lies!! I appreciate guys who are really honest when it comes to this.

Can you believe it if I say that being the only child to my parents had become a disadvantage for me in the marriage market??!! We have received calls from parents who didn’t want to go ahead with the proposal just because I’m the only child.

And one parent even had the audacity to ask my mother if anything could be done…what does she expect?!? Does she expect my parents to adopt one or go through the entire process of delivering a child again?!? Oh boy, didn’t I enjoy the dressing down that the lady got from my mom for being so downright stupid!!

So what happens if the horoscope matches?!? Watch this space for more!

The Great Indian (Before) Marriage Tamasha – Part 2

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

arranged-marriage-597x400

So how did my search for Mr Right go?

With everyone relying upon technology (to throw you solutions), my parents, just like millions of other Indian parents, put my profile on every matrimonial site available. My parents and I sat down (with a notepad and a pen) to list out our expectations and to draw up a profile for me that could be posted on these sites. After sessions of brain storming and cluttering our house with crushed balls of paper, we finally zeroed in on what had to be put up on the web!!

Oh, these also involved consultations with astrologers to prepare a list of birth stars that would match with mine. Phew, it was one hell of a task before my profile finally came up in the various marriage portals.

I should also mention the confusion we had over the kind of photographs that had to be uploaded on my profile. Should we choose a photo with a desi look or could the photo show the modern moi?!? For those who still don’t understand the reason behind this confusion, here’s a brief explanation. Guys (waiting to get married) want girls to have a modern outlook towards life (this is one statement that’s so common and visible in all the guys profiles) and would not want to see a photo of a girl in a sari; they call such girls “pazhams” (Tamil slang). And parents do not wish to see the girl in sleeveless dresses or in jeans and they term such girls “liberated”. To put an end to all this bokwaas (made popular with the release of Chennai Express), we put up 6 photos in all, in different costumes, catering to all “their” needs. Now that’s a lot of choice we have given the parents! And with the advent of social networks, the changes to your Facebook profile photos to suit the needs of the groom and his parents – one helluva job!

This blog would make no sense if I do not talk about the tamashaa involving horoscope matching!! If astrology is all about maths and physics, why do astrologers differ?!?

And then the calls started flowing, multitudes of them. Details, telephone numbers, email ids and horoscopes were exchanged. The homepage on our PC and laptops changed to the matrimonial portal. From our end, numerous profiles were scanned, a handful shortlisted from them and horoscopes downloaded. My mother then ran to our family astrologer for matching purposes, and always used to return crestfallen, with just two to three horoscopes matching. This had become a routine, and our astrologer’s number had been assigned as “the priority” on the speed dial list on our mobile phones!

It is a known fact that no two astrologers have the same opinion. And that results in total chaos!! If the horoscopes match at the girl’s end, it doesn’t on the guy’s end and vice versa. When only a handful of horoscopes match from a billion others, my mother reached a state where she stopped believing in astrology. She didn’t want to involve a third person (the astrologer, that is) to decide the future of her child (that’s me!!), rather she decided to believe in destiny!

So is there more fun to this?!? Wait and watch!!!

The Great Indian (Before) Marriage Tamasha – Part 1

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

arranged-marriage-597x400

As customary it is in India, for girls to get married as soon as you enter the 20’s, I was no exception. A few days after I turned 21, my parents sat me down for an “adult ” talk. (The last time that happened was before I entered my engineering college where I got a discourse on the do’s and don’ts at college). My parents bogged me down with questions pertaining to my social life, more directed towards my “preferences” to the opposite sex. When my parents were convinced that I wasn’t seeing anybody, out popped their question – “Are you ready to get married?”

Boy that did set me to think. I set my grey cells in action and tried to introspect if I indeed was ready for marriage. After days of pondering, I decided that the answer was a “yes”!! When I told my pals’ bout my decision, I received a variety of emotions – some rolled their eyes, some laughed it off, some cried (honestly!!) but most of them were shocked. My girl pals bombarded me with a lot of (silly) questions like:

What happens to your career?

Why do you want to settle down so early on in your life?

What happens to your identity?

and many more!! Does this drive me to another state of confusion?!? No!! I was sure that my decision was spot on. Here’s why.

I’m blessed to have wonderful parents, who belong to a small group of people who have evolved with the times and they have always been very liberal with me. They have been very supportive in whatever I have done till date and have always ensured that I carve a niche for myself in whatever I do. Till date, I have been able to do just that and I know for a fact that people recognise me for who I am and what I stand for. They have made sure that my head is held high all the time and that has indeed made me a better person. And I am sure that my partner would respect my ideals and give me the same encouragement that my parents have showered and I am absolutely sure that he would support me in my every step towards success. So, getting married is definitely not going to stop me from achieving my goals.

The entire concept of an arranged marriage, these days can be compared to an online dating process with parental control! My parents, who are very liberal, did give me an option of finding my partner while I pursued my masters, within their reasonable expectations and by far, the only expectation they set forth was that the guy had to be a Tam – Brahm!! But with my studies occupying most of the time, I just found it to be a humungous task and removed it off my list of things – to – do.

I find the whole concept of arranged marriage very appealing. I like the fact that there is commitment before there is love – there is a strange allure to that. In arranged marriages, two people make a commitment to each other and then embark upon the voyage of really getting to know each other – trust before anything else. This is what drove me to ask my parents to hunt down a groom for me.

That’s when the whole fun started! Stay tuned for the fun ride J

Marriage Bond

By Monika Sharma

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With lots of dreams and hopes in my mind,

This bond of marriage I decided to sign.

A commitment for my entire life,

To be proud to be called as your wife.

A bond of love, trust and gratitude,

We will continue crossing all the latitudes.

two_wedding_ringsWith life’s experience and ups and downs,

This bond of marriage makes us strong.

An intact connection of a friend and a mate,

This package of all relationships is great.

A few adjustments and a heart of love,

Can also forbid a number of brawls.

A bond so pure and intimate,

Marriage is where two souls meet.