Tag Archives: Manmohan Singh

Raja Bhoj And The Crow: The Story Of The First Whistleblower

raja bhoj

By DP Sakunia

Once Raja Bhoj was encircled by his nobles who were chanting eulogy as they always did. Suddenly a crow came from nowhere & scratched at a noble cum poet. Raja Bhoj became furious & directed to execute the crow. The crow prayed for a last hearing & took Raja Bhoj & his noblemen to a cave full of diamonds.

The crow told the entire kings caravan that the wealth dates back to Lord Ram’s time. She narrated the story that was as follows. A rich person of Oudh invited Sri Ram once for lunch at his place. After lunch the rich person presented Sri Ram with these precious stones. Lord Ram, the gracious self that he were, left the same at the verandah of his palace for someone in need. Time passed fast but no one came forward to take it and in course of time the wealth got hidden in the cave.

After narrating the story, the crow came to his point & prayed Raja Bhoj to search his so called noblemen who had already unscrupulously pocketed some of the valuables. These were the same folks who harped eulogy at Raja Bhoj and kept harassing and looting the subjects. The crow scratched at such a nobleman-cum-sycophant who was actually coaxing Raja Bhoj with self-ill motive.

Raja Bhoj immediately sent the noblemen to prison and asked him to be given the harshest punishment. He also called for a detailed investigation and personally went about asking his subjects who are the culprits and made sure all was happy once again.

Moral of the story: Alas there is no place for such whistle blower in todays time because Raja Bhoj and the noblemen have become equally corrupt towards the subject.

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An Emotional Letter To The Economist, Dr Manmohan Singh

manmohan singh--621x414

By Anupam Singh

Hope you are okay, healthy & kicking!

The Food Security Bill has been passed in Lok Sabha, but should I congratulate you?

No! I would rather congratulate Her Highness the visionary Sonia Gandhi for her Vote Security Bill. You know it better than anyone that its the worst time to undertake such a bill but you are helpless seeing the interest Her Highness has shown in it. Passing the Food Security Bill is good politics, passing it not is good economics. And we all know who wins the unfortunate battle of Politics Vs Economics, that too when the elections are lurking round the corner.

Sir, people have known me on social networking sites as one of your most vocal adversaries. I have hammered & bludgeoned you through my writings in letter & words for most of your tenure as the PM of India. But today, am in a different mood. I’m writing this letter to exhibit a different sort of emotion. Today, I sympathise with you & understand the predicament you must be going through. I know that when the world sleeps you remain awake to self-pity & imprisonment. Every morning while having the morning tea you helplessly ponder over India’s deteriorating economy. You represent a 100 million people but deep inside you are a loner. I know you might feel embarrassed reading this letter, thinking how could a young little chap decipher your state of mind so well.

Mr Prime Minister, I’m writing this letter to you based on some of my recent observations. In the Lok Sabha, Her Highness had to take the mantle into her own hands. She had to personally lead this initiative to get the bill passed because you, Mr Manmohan Singh, as a learned economist must not have been in its favour at this point of time. I know that you clearly understand the bearing such an act would take on the economy. Unfortunately for us, the highest moral ground you could take was to simply NOT BE IN FAVOUR because you don’t have the guts to steer the government policy as per your discretion.

Today, the nation is in a fix. Investors, who once entered into the Indian market thanking your liberalisation policies of 90s, are fleeing our market. The Rupee has stooped so low that its shamelessly in position 69 with the dollar on the higher side. An economy which boasted of high Forex reserves, healthy account deficit, growth & robustness not very long ago is caught in a quagmire. You know the state of economy far better than me but you can’t disagree my saying that the situation in India is of a crisis, an economic emergency.
Fortunately, the best person to sail us through these turbulent times is in the chair of the Prime Minister. You have done it earlier & most of us Indians are a fan of how you helped recover the economy in the 90s. I personally liked the manner you got the Indo-US nuclear deal done, infact that was the only time in your tenure that you looked in control of the proceedings.

Whatever the upcoming 2014 election results, there is no way you would be the next PM. And I must remind you that you’ll go down in history as one of the worst Prime Ministers ever. Leave aside opposition or the media, your own party will discredit you, disown you once your term is over & every congressman will label all that was wrong with UPA rule as the PM’s personal failure. This is what happened to Narasimha Rao & this is what will happen to you. History will repeat itself. I know you are not that bad a PM as the history books will project you, but you have neither acted with the dignity & style that a prime minister of the world’s largest democracy should have.

This economic scenario might be a threat for India, but I see an opportunity in it for you. An opportunity to salvage what you’ve lost. An opportunity to establish that the countrymen’s belief in you was not unfounded. Sir, doesn’t your heart bleed to see people’s loss of hope in you!

In a crisis like this, any country would have died for an economist to be at the helm of affairs. And no Indian has a better CV than you have as an economist. This is the last ditch moment to rise above your helplessness & break the shackles that tie you. This crisis can be a saving grace & blessing in disguise to help you unburden. The Food Security Bill is through in the Lok Sabha & it might very well help the congress garner some votes but will surely take away the last bit of respect people have in you. If you show the courage to stand & speak, the country, opposition, the media will speak with you in the same tone. No Sonia or No ruling party can overrule what the PM wants & stands for.

I really wish that the Prime Minister of my country gets a dignified exit with his head held high. And if you don’t I’ll continue bludgeoning you as my daily routine, you being my favourite object of ridicule!

You know, every Indian except the concerned person in power has a solution to any damn serious national problem. Giving unsolicited advice is our favourite pastime & I’m no less! So, Dr. Saab, I would conclude my emotional outbursts by advising you on how to resolve this economic crisis.

You have only two options Mr Economist..

1st)  Stand up for what you believe in. Take your cabinet in confidence. Talk to Her Highness. Take the bull by the horn. Stall the Food Security Bill. Follow the principles of good economics, leave the rules of good politics aside. The power is with you. You are still our Prime Minister & the most able man to ride this crisis.

OR..

2nd)   As your Commerce Minister has already suggested we might have to pledge Gold to save our economy as we did in 1991. My suggestion is why put the country’s Gold on collateral when we have so many highly qualified Gold Medallist economists in the government. Please collect your medals & we shall have enough Gold to sail us through. Furthermore, none of us would then say that your Gold medals are of no use.

So Mr Economist, take a stand or sell your Gold medals..!!

Your’s critically,

Anupam Singh

छियासठ ने किया सफाचट

(FILES)In this picture taken 15 August 2

By सतीश तहलान 

छियासठ बरस की आज़ादी,
हैं छियासठ की ही सोनिया।
छियासठ के भाव प्याज हो गया,
गिरा छियासठ तलक ही रूपया।
इस छियासठ ने किया सफाचट,
मुल्क की डूबा दी नईया।
देखो कहीं कोने सुबक रही,
मेरी बेबस भारती मईया।
हर 15 अगस्त जहाँ उड़ती हैं
बस वादों की हवा-हैवईंयाँ।
उस लाल किले चढ़ बन जाता,
गूँगा भी कुशल गवईया।

        

Pappu Ko Mili Pappi

By Joybrato Dutta

comedy week

Aaj katha divas ke paavan avsar par humne socha ek vyatha bhari katha sunaye. Naam se to pata chal hi gaya hoga ki is paatth ke mukhya kirdaar ka naam Pappu hai.

Pappu Chaubey Paandunagar ke sabse raes MLA ke driver ka beta tha. Naam chota tha par chakke lambe maarta tha. Maahi Bhaiyya bulaaye jaane waale iss nagine ko out karne ka nuskha kisi bowler ke paas nahin tha. Chheh saal ki umar mein Tendulkar ke saare records tod chuka tha. Par akela tha bechaara. Itne bade star hone ke bawjood, kisi bhi ladki ka usko dekh nahin banta tha mood.

Par iss raat ki subah aayi. Pappu ki gali mein Roshni aayi. Aur apni jeevika mein pehli baar Pappu ke stumps ne dhool chaati. Gend se nazar hati aur durghatna ghati. Bechaara kya karta, saamne se uske babuji Shri Satyaki Chaubey Ji ek khoobsurat dus saal ki hirni laa rahe the. Uff uski chaal. Uff uske gaal. Kya khoob chamak rahi thi uski khaal. Uske dekhte hi khade ho gaye Pappu ke baal.

Balla chod pappu apne babuji ki aur dauda. Yeh dekh Babuji ne shuru kiya khujlana apne maathe ka phoda. Jis bete ne aaj tak unki tarf dekh nahin muskuraya, woh saagar ki Dimple Kapadiya jaise daud ke unke paas aaya?!?. Pahunchte hi Pappu ne haafte huye kaha “babuji hum aaj chauraasi run banaye”. Babuji ne palat ke poocha “Beta ganit mein kitne ank aaye?” Iske jawab mein Pappu bhi utna hi bol paaya jisey sunkar, Chaubey Ji ko Manmohan Singh yaad aaya.

Par dekh ke Pappu ki shakal Roshni ne kiya chuckle.

Dekh ke Roshni ki muskurahat, khadi ho gayi pappu ki khaat.

Pappu roz babuji ke saath MLA saheb ke ghar jaane laga. Pehle to Babuji ko samajh na aaya. Phir laga shayad bete ko kaamchori ke khayal ne sataya.

Teen din ki iss ghisayi ke baad woh shubh ghadi aayi jab Roshni ke nana ne Chaubey Ji Senior se kaha “Arre Chaubey Ji jara Pappu se kaho humri Roshni bitiya ko gaanv ghumaaye. Bambayi se aayi hai, usey zara gaanv ke mahaul se parichaye karaaye”.  Pappu ne maara mauke pe chauka aur woh bann gaya Roshni ka guide.

Taj Mahal ki bhi kisi shayar ne itni tareef na ki hogi jitni apne gaanv ki Pappu ne kari. Uske varnan ke saamne Roshni ko uska Bandra gaanv lagne laga. Jai Kishan Chikitsalay ke saamne Lilavati hospital ki kya aukaat. Majaal hai PVR ki jo Goushala Talkies ki laga sake watt. Bhokali Bhojanalay ne bhi lagayi Barbeque Nation aur Global Fusion ko laat.

Dheere dheere Pappu Roshni ke aur kareeb aata gaya. Pappu ki keechad bhari zindagi mein pyaar ka kamal khillta gaya.

Phir aayi Chaudhah Farvary ki woh shaam. Pappu karne waala tha ek ghmasan elaan.  Doston ne badhaya haunsla aur pappu ne finally bakk daala “Aap humre sang love karengi”. Aise natkhat proposal ko kaun thukra sakta tha bhala. Roshni ne jhat se Pappu ke gaalo par pappi di aur sharma ke chal di. Bas phir kya Pappu ke tote udd gaye aur saath mein ande bhi le gaye. Ekaaek Hindi Cinema ke saare pyaar bhare geet uske mann mein mash up ke bhaanti bajne lage.

Pappu ne apne sabse priye mitr Sanku ko ye baat batayi. Sunte hi Sanku ne Pappu ki khushi par nazar lagai. Woh bola “Humre taau kehte hai ki pappi dene se bachha paida hota hai”. Yeh sun kar Pappu ke laal gaal aur laal ho aye. Saare armaan kahin ojhal ho gaye.

Halaat ne bhi kya mast Pappu ki waatt lagayi. Premika ki chahat thi, bachhe ki amma aa gayi. Par baap banne ke iss khayal ne pappu ko zimmedaar bana diya. Abb usne time pe school jaana, aur mann laga ke padhna shuru kiya. Uske is badlav se sab hairaan the, adhyapak baukhlaya aur sahpaathi pareshan the.

Pappu apne baap banne ke khayal ko aur gambhirta se lene laga aur ek din usne apne babuji se iss bare baat-cheet kar hi daali.

Pappu – babuji, hum paida kaise huye

Babuji – Beta, Bhagwan aaye aur tumhe amma ke god mein rakh diye

Pappu – bachha paida hone se pehle pet kahen phoolta hai

Babuji – kayi baar Bhagwan bachhe ko pet ke andar daal deta hai

Pappu – Achha! To yeh bachha nikalta kahan se hai

Babuji – Bhagwan ki den hai jahan se marzi nikal jaata hai

Pappu – Arre magar kahin se to nikalta hoga.

Babuji ko aage samajh na aaya to jhat se ek tamacha de maara. Pappu bhi naraaz ho gaya. Woh bola “jawab nahin aata to maar kahe rahe ho”.

Udhar Roshni bhi pareshan thi, Pappu aajkal kuch zyaada ki uski fikar kar raha tha. “Ice cream mat khaao, ulta mat leto, zyaada uchlo kudo mat”, aise prakaar ki rukawate Pappu uske saamne rakh raha tha. Pappu bhi use khul kar nahin bata raha tha. Sanku ne mana jo kara tha. Sanku ka kehna tha ki aisi khush khabri hamesha aurat hi deti hai. Marad bole to ashubh hota hai.

Kuch dino baad Roshni ki chuttiyaan khatam hui aur woh Bambayi wapas jaane lagi. Station mein Pappu ko rota huya dekh woh uski aur bhaagi. Boli “pappu bandh karo rona, mere jaate hi mujhe facebook pe add karna”. Pappu bola “Suno Roshni, na chalegi abb tumri mann-maani, hum jald hi naukri dhundenge, chahe bechna pade humey nimbu-paani”.

Tabhi train ne seeti maari. Sharmeeli Roshni nana ki taraf bhaagi. Aur phhir dekhte he dekhte huwa woh kaand. Bann gaya Pappu aag-baboola saand. Cheekh ke bola “Saali…..

Huwa bas itna ki MLA sahab ne Roshni ko jhappi di. Aur badle mein Roshni ne apne nana ke gaalo par ek pappi di.

Of The People; For The People; Lets ‘Buy’ The People

voting

By Ankush Kumar

Today has been no different then yesterday. Except for the date perhaps. What a week can do to the fortunes of one’s life; can be best answered by the Indian Cricket team. What effect the monsoon’s can have on somebody can be seen in the eyes of a common farmer. How valuable independence is ‘can be answered by only those who are chained since eternity’.

Today as USA celebrates its year of independence, we continue to believe in the fairy tale stories illustrated by the Congress. They have been pioneers in cooking up hopes for a billion people daily and we have been weak enough to be accepting false promises on the platter. The Panchtantra tales have entertained us since childhood, the Congress ones almost have the same effect sans the moral quotient.

Today the ordinance on the Food security bill was national news. Have you all noticed whenever there is matter on the Congress ‘Sonia Gandhi’ photograph invariably makes 
the cut. Have you ever wondered why? I mean she is not the Prime minister, she holds no cabinet portfolio, and then why is her picture chosen above everyone else? The answer obviously is that ‘her portfolio has been shot better’! Congress has more photogenic faces, poor BJP they only have good leaders, and that my friends seriously count for very little in the Indian scenario.

One of my closest friends had told me once ‘ Today I am a proud Indian, as my President and my Prime minister are educated leaders’. Well today I have a chance to reply ‘yes bro our president then was a man of integrity, today though our president has no teeth forget the grit’. On the PM front he is the best person who can answer how it feels to live without a spine. To live a life for nine years without any backbone needs tremendous grit and courage. I am super proud that we have such courageous leaders in India today.

It takes meticulous planning and large-hearted efforts to take the country ‘nowhere’ in just nine years. The pinnacle that we have achieved should largely be credited to Dr. Manmohan Singh and madam Sonia Gandhi’s UPA government. I was told in tenth standard that I would have to put in large amount of efforts to fail my board exams; I chose to do the reverse and unfortunately passed. But the Congress seems to have taken that humor seriously and have come out as failures in flying colors.

In nine years they have more committees than policies, they have more scams than revenues, yet they seem to have more voters than supporters. Ever wondered why? Let me explain. The way India manufactures more Black label scotch bottles than its actual production.

This was meant to be an open letter to our Prime minister. But as I began writing, halo struck that the confusion still persists on who is our leader. Hence this is now addressed to you the people. Please let me know who is the ‘elected representative’ of our country? Do we really have one? My school level civics knowledge has taken a beating ever since I have been told that a Rajya Sabha member will be our Prime minister.

The other help that I need is that please convert this post in different languages so that the message reaches out loud and clear. ‘ The opposite of Pro is Con; hence the opposite of Progress is Congress. Hence proven.