Tag Archives: Education and Enrichment

The Great Indian (Before) Marriage Tamasha – Part 1

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

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As customary it is in India, for girls to get married as soon as you enter the 20’s, I was no exception. A few days after I turned 21, my parents sat me down for an “adult ” talk. (The last time that happened was before I entered my engineering college where I got a discourse on the do’s and don’ts at college). My parents bogged me down with questions pertaining to my social life, more directed towards my “preferences” to the opposite sex. When my parents were convinced that I wasn’t seeing anybody, out popped their question – “Are you ready to get married?”

Boy that did set me to think. I set my grey cells in action and tried to introspect if I indeed was ready for marriage. After days of pondering, I decided that the answer was a “yes”!! When I told my pals’ bout my decision, I received a variety of emotions – some rolled their eyes, some laughed it off, some cried (honestly!!) but most of them were shocked. My girl pals bombarded me with a lot of (silly) questions like:

What happens to your career?

Why do you want to settle down so early on in your life?

What happens to your identity?

and many more!! Does this drive me to another state of confusion?!? No!! I was sure that my decision was spot on. Here’s why.

I’m blessed to have wonderful parents, who belong to a small group of people who have evolved with the times and they have always been very liberal with me. They have been very supportive in whatever I have done till date and have always ensured that I carve a niche for myself in whatever I do. Till date, I have been able to do just that and I know for a fact that people recognise me for who I am and what I stand for. They have made sure that my head is held high all the time and that has indeed made me a better person. And I am sure that my partner would respect my ideals and give me the same encouragement that my parents have showered and I am absolutely sure that he would support me in my every step towards success. So, getting married is definitely not going to stop me from achieving my goals.

The entire concept of an arranged marriage, these days can be compared to an online dating process with parental control! My parents, who are very liberal, did give me an option of finding my partner while I pursued my masters, within their reasonable expectations and by far, the only expectation they set forth was that the guy had to be a Tam – Brahm!! But with my studies occupying most of the time, I just found it to be a humungous task and removed it off my list of things – to – do.

I find the whole concept of arranged marriage very appealing. I like the fact that there is commitment before there is love – there is a strange allure to that. In arranged marriages, two people make a commitment to each other and then embark upon the voyage of really getting to know each other – trust before anything else. This is what drove me to ask my parents to hunt down a groom for me.

That’s when the whole fun started! Stay tuned for the fun ride J

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Marriage Bond

By Monika Sharma

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With lots of dreams and hopes in my mind,

This bond of marriage I decided to sign.

A commitment for my entire life,

To be proud to be called as your wife.

A bond of love, trust and gratitude,

We will continue crossing all the latitudes.

two_wedding_ringsWith life’s experience and ups and downs,

This bond of marriage makes us strong.

An intact connection of a friend and a mate,

This package of all relationships is great.

A few adjustments and a heart of love,

Can also forbid a number of brawls.

A bond so pure and intimate,

Marriage is where two souls meet.

A Misogamist’s Conundrum

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Anuj in his inimitable style tells us why marriages can’t be made in heaven and how two different individuals have to make it work. Read on and enjoy.

Well! Well!

We do have many misogamists in our society. Some are misogamist in their mind but do not openly accept it. As babies, people are innocent and pure, the reality and experience is what changes them. So it’s simply the experiences they see, feel and have that make them a misogamist. Not that being a misogamist is totally incorrect; anyone can choose to be so.

Based on the negativity that misogamists see around marriages, they do think, feel and say ‘Marriage’ is a source of all evil.

Some negative aspects that a Marriage could bring are as follows: –

1) A significant increase in wants and comfort

2) Money! Money! Money! All the time.

3) Setting high expectations by both individuals and significant difference in what each may want from marriage.

4) The Immaturity it brings between couples which further results in conflict.

It’s totally asinine to think that marriage is a waste. Yes, if deeply analysed, the factors mentioned above can make most people agree and turn them to a misogamist. But, there is a need to have a much better perspective.

Few reasons why Marriage can be viewed in a positive way are: –

1) Sharing lives and thinking in an altruistic way.

2) A sense of trust, responsibility and commitment does help both individuals for the betterment in life.

3) If solitude is the real enemy for people who are single and brings unhappiness then marriage could definitely be the panacea.

4) Some studies say that people happily married are likely to have better health and are more supportive.

Key to good Marriages :

– One that has mutually supportive relationship (Socially, Financially and Emotionally)

– Accepting of each individual as how they are and learning to appreciate the differences

– Understanding that marriages always have ups and downs and learning to cope with adversaries

– The element of Friendship in Marriages can make it work a bit longer than most people expect

 ‘Change’ is what we can be assured about. So marriage will bring about a change in all men and women. Whoever said Marriages are made in heaven is/was certainly out of his mind. It’s the two people along with many external factors that make it work.

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