Tag Archives: Congress

Agent Media & The Secret Handshake!

election 2014

By Ankush Kumar

The Bharatiya Janta Yuva Morcha is brainstorming in Shimla. The dipped climate is ensuring that the heated arguments remain under check. Meanwhile the regional parties have already begun their share of yatras in their respective states to generate faith amongst their voters. Somewhere in the corridors of power in Gujarat NaMo is playing with the applications in the new android phone that has been just launched. In the middle of obnoxious statements by the lady in bleached hair Arvind Kejriwal is hoping for a miracle to happen.

The buzz and excitement is just beginning to escalate in the country as we head for general elections 2014. But one party has several machineries working for them in ensuring the loot continues for another five years. And helping them in their pursuit is none other than the media channels with a hopelessly stupid concept called the election tracker.

First it was the IBN network and now the Times News network. Both these channels have been doing surveys that are highlighting all the shortcomings of the current UPA government, hence giving them a chance to devise strategies to counter their downfall. They have also managed to highlight that the comparison between NaMo and Rahul baba is very miniscule. They have downplayed all the hype NaMo has generated, and upscaled the chances of Rahul baba.

In a way they are hypnotising the voters by telling them that it will be a fractured mandate hence vote for a party that can pull in more allies which obviously unfortunately is the Congress. But the agents shouldn’t forget ‘Yeh Janta sab jaanti hai’, jo India vote karta hai woh yeh sab news channels dekhte tak nahi hai’.

The creation of Telangana yet again drives home the point that the media agents are working overtime in ensuring that UPA comes back to power. The entire Leader vs. leader debate too is all hogwash. We all know how certain MP’s who control economies of our nation, irrespective of their awful performance at their respective constituencies do not lose an election. History tells us of various theories and stories where the secret handshake has been established. Last Lok Sabha elections Chidambaram won on recounting so did Laloo Prasad Yadav in the last state elections.

There is a theory that states that even AB Vajpayee was declared winner, when actually he had lost to Arjun Singh in a Lok Sabha election. The secret handshake is not just limited to elections, but also business deals, policy making and black money stashed away in foreign accounts. Irrespective of whoever comes to power, except for superficial change of guard not much is going to change in the country. If this sounds like too much cynicism, then here is a food for thought ‘ Why does Robert Vadra and his SPG security do not go through security checks at the airport’? And till date why hasn’t any one raised an objection to it?

PS: If you want to call a factsayer a cynic, I pity your school of thought J

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‘For The People, Of The People, Lets Buy The People’ – Part II

indian school image

 

By Ankush Kumar

My editor played spoilsport last time around. Now I know why writers and editors do not share great chemistry. Because both varieties work on different experiments and both hate each other.

Anyways last time I worked hard to generate humor on the article ‘for the people, of the people, lets buy the people’ but my editor it seemed was in a quandary over its content. On one hand he supports Arvind Kejriwal and hopes for a change on the other hand he gags his writers by deleting content and changing the wholesome entertainment value of the post.

The problem is that he knows I will write only for him hence has a habit of taking liberties anyways I am taking forward the last post by highlighting achievements of the Congress party in the education sector.

A) The last time I visited a middle school in North India, the teacher and staff sat idle in their offices waiting for their salary, long overdue for an year, the students waited for their masters to teach. Since none bothered to care, only the mid-day appeared and disappeared day in and day out but the meals were missing. The only day I saw 110 percent capacity in the premises was when the children were given money to buy uniforms. Even those who had never bothered to see the school building (by the way that existed only on paper) had come for their share. That evening I was offered a feast, but seeing the apathy it was a tough pill to swallow.

(B) A certain pharmaceutical company paid almost a crore to the government and ensured that each state was sent a letter highlighting how disturbing malnutrition has become in our country. Celebrities have now been roped in to highlight the issue. This company wants to eradicate the problem by selling their food supplements. If anything they will manage to do it will be create customers not cures. Putting a child on a chemically manufactured diet is a potential scam in the making. If the government can ensure supplies of nutritious meals at the micro levels, all this nonsense will never be needed. But since our ministers have their children’s abroad education expenses to cover, the poor are becoming the scapegoats.

C) On one hand we have private urban schools turning to smart classes as the new way of learning, our schools at the village level still don’t have enough chalk and blackboards to last a year. Some children still manage to shine through, but the percentage is terribly low. When we have governments in states that try doing innovative things to promote education, we have our leaders at the center doing buffoonery as opposition. Nitish Kumar gave cycles to girls; Lalu had the brains to offer bikes. How we wish our leaders had some sanity left in them.

D) The Congress has been brilliant in shrinking our education systems to an all time
low. The guilt of Rahul baba failing in his education (he really dint need that) has propelled our central leaders to ensure that the masses are a few notches lower than their charming prince. Otherwise fooling the nation time and again will become a tough exercise.

P.S: You chop and change this one Mr. Scissors, I’ll stone you.

 

 

Of The People; For The People; Lets ‘Buy’ The People

voting

By Ankush Kumar

Today has been no different then yesterday. Except for the date perhaps. What a week can do to the fortunes of one’s life; can be best answered by the Indian Cricket team. What effect the monsoon’s can have on somebody can be seen in the eyes of a common farmer. How valuable independence is ‘can be answered by only those who are chained since eternity’.

Today as USA celebrates its year of independence, we continue to believe in the fairy tale stories illustrated by the Congress. They have been pioneers in cooking up hopes for a billion people daily and we have been weak enough to be accepting false promises on the platter. The Panchtantra tales have entertained us since childhood, the Congress ones almost have the same effect sans the moral quotient.

Today the ordinance on the Food security bill was national news. Have you all noticed whenever there is matter on the Congress ‘Sonia Gandhi’ photograph invariably makes 
the cut. Have you ever wondered why? I mean she is not the Prime minister, she holds no cabinet portfolio, and then why is her picture chosen above everyone else? The answer obviously is that ‘her portfolio has been shot better’! Congress has more photogenic faces, poor BJP they only have good leaders, and that my friends seriously count for very little in the Indian scenario.

One of my closest friends had told me once ‘ Today I am a proud Indian, as my President and my Prime minister are educated leaders’. Well today I have a chance to reply ‘yes bro our president then was a man of integrity, today though our president has no teeth forget the grit’. On the PM front he is the best person who can answer how it feels to live without a spine. To live a life for nine years without any backbone needs tremendous grit and courage. I am super proud that we have such courageous leaders in India today.

It takes meticulous planning and large-hearted efforts to take the country ‘nowhere’ in just nine years. The pinnacle that we have achieved should largely be credited to Dr. Manmohan Singh and madam Sonia Gandhi’s UPA government. I was told in tenth standard that I would have to put in large amount of efforts to fail my board exams; I chose to do the reverse and unfortunately passed. But the Congress seems to have taken that humor seriously and have come out as failures in flying colors.

In nine years they have more committees than policies, they have more scams than revenues, yet they seem to have more voters than supporters. Ever wondered why? Let me explain. The way India manufactures more Black label scotch bottles than its actual production.

This was meant to be an open letter to our Prime minister. But as I began writing, halo struck that the confusion still persists on who is our leader. Hence this is now addressed to you the people. Please let me know who is the ‘elected representative’ of our country? Do we really have one? My school level civics knowledge has taken a beating ever since I have been told that a Rajya Sabha member will be our Prime minister.

The other help that I need is that please convert this post in different languages so that the message reaches out loud and clear. ‘ The opposite of Pro is Con; hence the opposite of Progress is Congress. Hence proven.

IPL, Indian Politics And The People of India

politics

Our anonymous government critic points down why IPL is the least important with what is happening around India and its governance. 

One of those special weapons, super power which is used by spin doctors is the hook, a competitive mental angle, weapon of mass distraction which came in the form of the Indian Premier League and the Congress spin doctors are rejoicing. The UPA celebrates its fourth birthday recently, they tried distracting the public sentiments by their ‘Bharat Nirmaan’, their Bharat Nirmaan sounds like a female wore a mini-skirt, not because she was independent, but because, she shaved her legs. The Bharat Nirman sounded like those advertising programs decreed to vagaries of ignorance.

What the Congress could not do with crores of advertising budget, a hook in the form of the IPL did. Even Rajiv’s birthday and the Congress failures in the fourth-term did not defer our mass media. They covered the IPL with much-gusto disregarding Rajiv Gandhi and the Congress.

What is more surprising is how the media/police/officialdom found a Bollywood scape goat in the form of Vindoo. Everything said and done, the Congress is loving this moment in history. For once no one wants to know of strategic matters and corruption they are involved in. The Japan-China-India foreign affairs is now less important in the media than having foreign players in the Indian Premier League. With the spot-fixing, there are more hooks for story-telling linked to legalizing of betting, increasing role of the BCCI and the thin line between cricket and entertainment.

If you need to look at breaking news, ask yourself, what are they breaking news against. Perhaps, we owe much political debate against our government and Congress’ performance than the IPL, also important, but not at this moment.

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