Tag Archives: Bottle

My First Beer

By Joybrato Dutta

Q – What happens when a girl breaks a guy’s heart?

 Ans. – Two guys become the best of friends.

joy4Pic – Firangi and I flagging out our favourite T-shirts. Below you’ll notice a black thing. It’s CMKT’s trunk. 

It was a winter evening of 2003. Firangi and I were sitting in our balcony, speaking about topics which didn’t make sense (about love).  Amidst that mist we chanced upon a guy carrying a crate full of beer.

Cut to across the road. We were staring at a board which read ‘ADITYA WINE AND BEER SHOP’.

We had never tried alcohol nor were we too friendly with louts who were fond of it. Hum to apne Maa-baap ke ache bache the. As a result we weren’t really too sure of the brand and the kind. So considering the budget and the TV ads we decided to get a ‘Haywards 5000’.

As we were about to enter the shop, my girlfriend called. She sorted out our differences.

Now, wait a minute, I was about to get drunk because that’s what grown ups with broken hearts do. Now that the damage was re-paired (pun intended), I had no reason to drink. But I couldn’t leave a man behind. So I stormed into the shop and ordered for two Haywards 5000.

Initially my request was turned down, because we were under-age (we forgot about that). But then I told him that I was from Bihar and my friend was from U.P. That worked. We got the bottles to our apartment.

There was one more problem. My room-mate CMKT was the Nerdiest (MS Word says that’s not a real word) creature on the planet. He wouldn’t allow us to turn our educational abode into a bar. So, we decided to savour it before he returns. No sooner did this idea dawn upon us than the door-bell rang. CMKT was back. Panic struck. Somehow we managed to hide the bottles in a trunk. In CMKT’s trunk.

He came in and looked at our faces. We were trying to hide the expression of hiding the bottles. As usual he wanted to study, so he walked into his room and opened his trunk to take out his books.

Have you even been unfortunate enough to watch the entire episode of any Ekta Kapoor soap? You’ll surely see a scene where a particular reaction is replayed thrice, just to reiterate the significance of that particular emotion. That’s exactly what his reaction was. He lectured us in a dad-like way. Like prodigal sons Firangi and I took the bottles and walked into the other bedroom.

Beer tasted like shit the first time. But we were so used to taking shit from our fate that we continued consuming it. Finally we finished our beer. We weren’t drunk but we wanted to be drunk, so we got drunk.

Piece of gyaan – Alcohol makes you brave.

Firangi and I stormed into CMKT’s room and abused him in a way he couldn’t imagine. We scared the shit out of that poor thing. We abused him using words like Loser, Virgin, and a few harsh ones. He was devastated. Before his sars could start bleeding, his eyes started peeing. He left the room in tears.

Such was the experience; we decided to face it more times.

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And that was the beginning of the two greatest alcoholics our friends will ever know.

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Dilli ki Hawa – 4

Sampurna Majumder narrates her ‘bitterly-wonderful’ experience of getting drunk in the fourth part of Dilli ki Hawa!

3 girls

College life and teenage can make us do weird stuff at times. Sometimes. I remember the day I got terribly high for the fist time. I was pursuing my Master’s and had just completed by 21st birthday. D, S and I were flatmates. Every month we ended up throwing a small party at our den. Party without some tit-bits is definitely incomplete. We usually got chips, spring rolls and soft drinks as our accompaniments and of course the party comprised gossip sessions and sometimes stupid games.

smirn offIt was one such party which was a little different from the rest. This time three of us tried our hand at vodka. On D’s suggestion we decided to go the nearest local liquor store at north campus. For the first time we stepped into a liquor store. Three of us were a little perturbed as we could feel pairs of eyes ogling at us. Hurriedly we placed an order for a small bottle of vodka and returned home with our prized possession including chips, a bottle of limca and a few other tit-bits.

An hour later we spread out our accompaniments for the evening. Conversations started pouring and so did the vodka. The first round comprised vodka with limca. This was followed by a second round of the same. D had already started feeling a dizzy we could make that out pretty well from her occasional laughter and bitching about her ex-flames.

The vodka bottle was still more than half-filled. All of a sudden D threw a challenge, “who can finish the rest of vodka?” . We stared at each other and by that time the mixture of limca and vodka had already started taking its toll on me. I could feel it. However, I tried to be the brave one and before either of them could decide upon, I took the plunge.

Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! … and bottoms’ Up!!!

After that all I could remember was D and S helping me lie down in the bed so that I could have a good night’s sleep.

Next morning D and S narrated what exactly had happened. I had lost complete control of myself and was crying hysterically. God knows why? And the episode doesn’t end here. I was told that I started throwing up badly and it was all over D; so much so that she had to take bath in the December winters of Delhi. I tried falling back on my last night’s memory and I could vaguely recollect the throwing up!

“How I wish I had not thrown such a challenge!!!”. D lamented.