Category Archives: Motherhood

Conflicts for a New Mommy

Antara Roy debunks some popular myths about motherhood.

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So finally, he arrived!! After the 9 months long drill, I couldn’t wait to take him in my arms… It was different, he was red like a tomato, eyes tightly shut by the heavy eyelids; felt like a little mountain baby in my very eastern bong hands. I was a first-time mom, and it was the first time I held such a tiny creature. I was beyond elated and blissfully unaware of the days and nights ahead!! But that story of how I embraced motherhood is for my journals to bear. Here I am more interested in bawling around how a new age mommy deals with her baby, her house, her hubby and her work… oh!! Did I forget to write Indian?? Let me reframe then; ‘I am more interested in bawling around how a new age Indian mommy deals with her baby, her house, her hubby and her work.’

Why such emphasis on Indian, you ask? Simply, because we have got it too easy; it’s too easy to outsource and delegate. Baby Bathing-outsourced, cooking-outsourced, baby massage- outsourced; you name it and it can get outsourced. Where else in this whole wide world can you find this luxury? But again, luxury ensures a cost. Our traditional society has designs for a new mommy already made. And thus it is the tryst of this modern mommy to understand, embrace and somewhat rebel (ah, the best) these designs…

Myth: eat limited after delivery, especially water as it leads to obesity…

Really, and then what… Drink ghee and full fat milk which will keep you lean?? Eating moderate helps, but not limited. Eat what you have eaten all your life. Do not restrict. If you are breastfeeding you need a lot of strength from proteins and stamina from carbs. No point shying away from it. Pictures are evidence enough that even Aishwarya Rai didn’t!!

Myth: beer and wine helps in lactation…

How much so ever I wanna scream ‘it’s true and I love it’, sadly it isn’t true!! Though one glass in a couple of weeks won’t kill anyone, yet ensure you breast feed after a couple of hours of drinking it. Let your body get enough time to absorb and break alcohol, before it reaches the baby.

Myth: no rotis/chapattis/breads of any sort for 40 days after delivery

This is one of my favourites that I heard of. Apparently wheat is not good as it will lengthen the time taken for one to heal from delivery. Come on people, use logic to your limited knowledge of science. Whole-wheat is the best kind of carb you should subject your body to for the first few weeks after delivery. It is one magic ingredient that will heal your body as well as give stamina for you to do the onerous task of feeding and caring for a newborn.

Myth: post-partum depression is for the weak hearted.

And the weak hearted can be easily sorted out because they have 2 noses??!! Baby blues happen and you are bound to feel it one way or other. One stray comment on skin colour or the shape of nose can put you off or lift you up. Trust me, better days are up ahead. And there is no shame in owning up and doing the right thing.

Saving the best for the last…

Myth: baby boys put in disposable diapers turn out to be eunuchs.

Oh goodness!! I feel like taking a bat to run after these so called educated people suggesting these in a cosmo city like Mumbai. Where did our education system fail? How come people are so blissfully unaware of biology of our bodies?? Though using disposables will blow out a huge hole in your pocket and ozone layer, but u will surely get grandkids to put on cloth diapers!! :-p

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Having mentioned about cloth diapers, if you are a mommy and you read till this point, you might wanna try out these amazingly innovative products afloat in the markets of today. It’s a completely washable diaper, designed to leave kids dry on skin, while soaking up the pee and poop and keeping it in without visible accidents. It’s leak-proof, adorable to look at and very cost effective in the long run!! If you need more info about these, write in a comment and I will get back to you!!

Eat well, stay loved and spread care. Cheers!!

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Indian Middle Class Life And Stories

india, indian middle class family driving on scooter in bangalore

By Pinaki Pratihar

Every day when I wake-up and get prepared for my office, I pack my lunch made by my maid and miss my mom. How she helped me get dressed for school or how she used to pack my favorite dishes during my college-life when I use-to go home every weekend!

Or at early night when I used to chat with my dad, queries regarding health, job, life, parties, future plans and more. Sometimes the whole conversation turned into a simple question by my mom, “When will you come here to meet us?”

And I remained silent like ever. Mom has a power; she can feel some unspoken words. She naturally did-not repeats the same question. She left the topic the moment she felt I am uncomfortable with that.

He is a father, who has invested all of his savings for education of his children and to earn their minimum daily needs and wants. A perfect representative of Indian Middle Class society, who preferred to invest on Education, rather increasing his bank balance, whose expenditure, is same as his income, at the age of pre-retirement. He had invested his time to his children as much as possible and now he deserves to get the same attention from his children as he knows he is also experiencing the old-age problems and he need some-one apart from his caring wife, who is also struggling from fevers and pains due to age and nerve conduction and is failing to keep in check with his physical condition. He deserves a hand who can help him reach the nearest reliable hospital and can bring the medicine on time.

She is a mom; she had a general ‘mango-people’ homemaker mindset of having the best of possible things. Her only happiness in life comes from seeing her children attain a position in life. She still wishes her son could be a schoolteacher in a nearest high school and can stay at home at-least.

And me! Once I dreamt to be near my parents and failed, when I felt that life can be easy but career is not secured in Kolkata. Negligible economic growth and industry-related statistics and HR-satisfaction survey and un-predictable responses never encouraged me to be in Kolkata. The dream has busted. I never realized when.

I am a person who enjoys the cheap ride in Kolkata, cheap food and the lazy moments with family and friends. I do not feel the same in Delhi though I have a core set of friends and experienced colleagues. I am well convinced that this is not a place to grow well for a non-IT profile.

Everyday I wake up early morning and reach home at night; in between I mix with so many identities. I am a daily passenger who pays the same for a ticket to reach office, a colleague, who can do his job, a friend, with whom some information can be shared, a researcher who try to study things in-depth, an executive who interact with clients regularly and try to put some value in the business process, a junior, who try to follow senior’s instructions, a judge, before putting the instructions and a dreamer who try to put something new in front of the management.

And a Govt.

In my childhood, I participated in debates against brain-drain, but later-on realized watching so many unsuccessful businessmen in West Bengal that every state is not open like Gujarat.

I am not happy, but satisfied just by calling and considering my days as ‘The Struggling Period’, where I am struggling to learn some more, to earn some more money, respect and more happiness around me. I am convinced that this time, forget about your emotions and family. Here I wish you find your life different from me.

Chronicles Of A Mom – To – Be!! Woo Ho!! Part 4

pregnancy

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

With a husband slogging away across the seas, handling a pregnancy alone can be a daunting task. It has been hard to stay positive about this pregnancy. As much as I am thrilled, I do end up mind-fighting nasty little thoughts that something may be or go wrong.  Panic attacks do suck sometimes!

So here I am, typing away furiously on my tablet, waiting outside for my NT scan. So what exactly is this? NT stands for Nuchal Translucency. This screening uses a high-powered ultrasound to measure the clear or translucent space in the tissue at the back of your developing baby’s neck. Babies with abnormalities tend to accumulate more fluid at the back of their neck during the 1st trimester, causing this clear space to be larger than average.

And boy! This was fun in its own way. The scan doctor did have her time getting the li’l peanut in position to take the necessary measurements. My mother-in-law and I had a ball of a time watching the peanut dance in my womb. Dear Husband, looks like this is an indication of the times to come after November!!

And results of the scan, the li’l one is doing absolutely perfect! All the tension, stress and anxiety that had been building up prior to the scan just disappeared instantly. And to top it all, to sit and listen to the beautiful sound of the tiny heartbeats echoing in the room, that moment is truly priceless!!!  I melted inside, and my eyes welled up with tears of happiness.  This is definitely the icing on the cake.

And finally with the first trimester behind my back, it’s time to visit the salon, to transform from a Planet of Apes resident to a more beautiful pregnant self. Your body definitely pays for the privilege of pregnancy. And this calls for a lot of pampering. Aaah, a day at the spa works wonders on your body and adds the extra glow that lasts (this in addition to the glow on a mom-to-be’s face)!

And now that I’m totally relaxed after a fun day, it’s bout time for me to sit with my eyes closed and imagine a beautiful, peaceful scene with my fantasized baby-to-be, wrapped in my arms – tis being my only solution to my panic attacks!

So it’s time to say good-bye to my first trimester and to all you folks! Brief y’all soon…

Disclaimer: As much as the above experiences are my own, I have definitely referred from my pregnancy bible “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” by Heidi Murkoff and other pregnancy blogs on Google for certain details and reasoning.

Chronicles Of A Mom – To – Be!! Woo Ho – PART 1

pregnancy

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

Two educational degrees – check! Career – check! Marriage – Check! Love – Check! Baby – Err?!?

A couple of months into our blissful marriage, a delayed period turned our lives into a tizzy! Barf! The numerous visits to the bathroom to retch, occasional dizziness, a freaked out husband!

Could I be pregnant?!?

The neurotics that we both are, we both spent a couple of sleepless nights googling out the numerous signs hoping that they could just be false alarms. There was no way that I could be pregnant. A baby was definitely not in our bucket list of things to do in our first year of marriage (sigh).

And soon enough, the first appointment with the gynecologist – the doc who delivered my husband! After a few milliliters of blood less and an empty bladder and two hours of waiting, the big P – moment finally arrived! We had done it!  I was PREGNANT!!!

An ecstatic mom and dad – in – law and overjoyed parents and a hurried call to my husband to regroup back in the house, my fingers were crossed! How do I break the news to him?!? Numerous flashes of the Cadbury’s ad showcasing the wife breaking the news of her pregnancy kept playing in my mind. Do I follow a similar technique?

The husband arrives…with a bunch of flowers and a box of my favorite chocolates! What?!? Am I dreaming?!? A warm hug and a kiss on the forehead later, and with a wide grin on his face, “Can you believe it baby? We’re gonna be PARENTS soon!!”

Let the celebrations begin!

What happens next, stay tuned!

तेरा रिश्ता बड़ा कमाल पिता

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Satish Tehlan is back with a bang and this time with a wonderful poem continuing our Father’s Day week long celebrations. Awesome read as always. 

ऊँगली पकड़ कर तू ही संभाले,
सिखाता पहली चाल पिता।

कभी घोड़ा बन-कभी कंधे ले,
तूने सहलाए मेरे बाल पिता।

तेरी प्यार भरी इक चुम्बन से,
है खिल जाते मेरे गाल पिता।

मुझे मम्मी अच्छी लगती,
पर देता है सब माल पिता।

तेरी मेहनत, तेरे पसीने से,
मेरे घर की ईंटे लाल पिता।

हर संकट स्वयं झेलता,
है गोवेर्धन सी ढाल पिता।

केवल तेरे ही दम से है,
मेरा घर रहता खुशहाल पिता।

मेरे घर आँगन की बगिया के,
तुम ही हो तरुवर-छाल पिता।

मेरी हिम्मत-शौहरत तुमसे है,
तेरे बिन जीवन बेहाल पिता।

मै कायल हूँ तेरे जज्बे का,
तेरा रिश्ता बड़ा कमाल पिता।

Working Dad walking with son

मेरी माँ

MotherAndSonAbstracted

Continuing our Mother’s Week celebrations, here is another masterpiece by a fabulously talented upcoming poet Syed Bilal. Maa Tujhe Salaam. 

कितनी रातें तू जागी है
कितने दिन रात रोई है ,
तकलीफों को अपनी माँ
मुस्कराहट में संजोयी है ,

कितने जत्नों के बाद जन्मा
तुमने मुझको ऐ अम्मा
मेरी हर आह पे ऐ माँ
तू रो आँचल भिगोई है ,

नमाज़ों में दुआओं में
तूने जन्नत न है मांगी
के मांगी है मेरी बस खैर
मेरी खुशी-आबादी मांगी है ,

ममता  तेरी ओ मेरी माँ
मुझको हौसला दे जाती है
के जाऊं मैं कहीं भी
तेरी बस याद  आती है ,

कितनी  माएँ आज रोती हैं
रास्तों पे वो रहती हैं
के अपनों ने न माना है
घर से उनको निकाला है ,

दुखों में दर्द में रहती हैं
कई तकलीफें सहती हैं
फिर भी बच्चों को अपने
बद-दुआ वो न देती है ,

सुधर जाओ संभल जाओ
माँ का मतलब समझ जाओ
के जन्नत है मुहब्बत है
माँ ही बस ऐसी अज़मत है ,

मेरा वादा है तुझसे माँ
दिल न तेरा दुखाऊंगा
तेरी ख़ुशी -हसी के लिए
मैं तो कुछ भी कर जाऊंगा
के रखूँगा सदा पलकों पे
फ़र्ज़ सारे निभाऊंगा

आपका 
बिलाल 

3 Inspirational Moms – SALUTE!

Do you agree to the saying – “behind every man’s success there is a woman”? While some of you may disagree to this, you cannot contend the fact that behind every human being’s success there is a mother! Continuing our Mother’s Day series, we thought of delving into some of the inspirational mothers of our times and trying to gauge their contribution to their children’s success.

Sarath Babu with momSarath Babu’s Mother

E Sarath Babu’s rags-to-riches’ story could not happen without his mother. Rising from a slum in Chennai, this man went to IIM-Ahmedabad and is now running the Food King Catering business which sees a turnover of 10crore! Of course, the foundation of this success is his mother, who sold idlis on the pavements to support a family of four.

Sarath Babu’s mother worked as a cook for a midday meal scheme and got paid 30 rupees per month. And this went on for 11 years – a family of 4 survived on 30 rupees! Despite all the sacrifices she had to make, she egged him on to study and to make it big in life. Sharat owes all his success to his mother.

lance armstrong and momLance Armstrong’s Mother, Linda

Despite being estranged from his biological father and hating his step-dad, Armstrong had one factor in his life – constant, consistent and strong – his mom. Linda Moonyham gave birth to Lance out of wedlock. She got married to Terry Keith Armstrong only when Lance was slightly older. However, they got divorced soon. Linda brought up Lance almost single-handedly and has been a constant and most ardent supporter of Lance’s cycling career and cancer research endeavor.

pooja-chopra-momPooja Chopra’s Mother, Neera

Pooja and her mom have lived through abuse and poverty, and have come out of it in flying colors.  Neera Chopra had a tumultuous marriage, where she was a victim of domestic violence. Her husband had extramarital affairs and brought home another woman when she was pregnant. With a 20-day-old Pooja and a 7-year-old Shubra, Neera Chopra left her husband’s house and single-handedly brought up her kids.

Food, uniform, stationery – most of which are taken for granted by kids, came with great struggle for Pooja and Shubra. Ms. Chopra worked for 16 hours a day, without taking weekend offs, in order to be able to provide a decent living for her kids. Today, her sacrifices have resulted in one daughter experiencing a well-settled family life and the other, winning the Femina Miss India crown!

To, all you wonderful moms – absolutely nothing and no-one can replace you! Your greatness cannot be expressed in words! So, we would end this post with a heartfelt SALUTE!