Category Archives: Happiness

Before Marriage Till Marriage!

indian marriage

By Malathy Madathilezham

Man is a social being. This is something, which we have all studied at some point of time. Thus one of the most cruel and effective forms of punishment/ torture meted out to criminals, terrorists, etc. is solitary confinement. The need to communicate and interact is something of the utmost importance to human beings in order to retain their human nature. Self-expression, exchange of ideas and organization are something’s, which we are experts at utilizing for our benefits. Thus we have groups beginning from the family to nations. We have created complex social structures, which compete and cooperate with each other. On the basis of social interactions among human beings spread over time and continents, we have established a wide variety values, norms and rituals that are the foundations of the human society.

The society keeps changing, earlier this change was at a much slower pace. Something’s, which were unacceptable, unpardonable and frowned upon, are now part and parcel of our society and nobody gives a second thought to him or her. Similarly, some accepted aspects of society are now considered a blight on society. Thus change is also an important aspect of human civilization.

This change has also affected the dynamics of men and women. May be some people have enjoyed or suffered these changes more than the other! There are of course extreme situations of women still living in the same age old conditions and bound in tradition or poverty, but in this particular discussion I would not elaborate on that. Feminism, Liberalism, Capitalism and many other ‘isms’ have contributed in parts to this change. So a woman doesn’t look at a good marriage/alliance or domestic life as the only criterion, which makes her life a success. It is definitely still one of the most important things to majority of women but education, career, self dependence, financial independence, an interesting social life are also being counted somewhere on the list.

A fairly well educated woman in her twenties wants almost everything from a good job, a handsome and loving husband, friends, a fun social life, decent salary etc. etc. She doesn’t want to have the life of her mother; she wants it to be better and bigger! Any mention that her gender makes her vulnerable is almost blasphemous. Her semi-liberalism and semi-feminism along with her ego would be a force to reckon with. She is assertive, confident and has her own opinion on everything ranging from fashion to politics. At work she may be ruthless. Efficient, competitive and aggressive she want that corner office to be hers. She looks for true love and romance but at the same time is practical when it comes to decision making…She is becoming more and more demanding it seems… ah and confused too. What is the most important? What is the priority?

Until few years ago, the man was the sole breadwinner of the family. He took on the burden of providing a good life and a better future for his children, at least in financial aspect. A well settled (government) job, a ‘good’ wife along with a sizable dowry would probably make him seem more successful back then. Now look at a twenty or thirty something man, he is equally confused. The father was feared and revered. His appreciation and love, one could only see the glimpses of. He sees his mother, always loving, most probably a housewife. She was the stable rock of his family when his father was busy working or on tours. She is the quintessence of womanhood and selflessness for him. The women his age confuse him. They are his classmates, friends, and colleagues/superiors. Equally aggressive and competitive as men, and given undue advantage at times due to they’re gender. And yet they crib about inequality! Life is becoming tough for him. A simple joke and they get offended!

He is in a reasonably good job and enjoys the weekend parties and stuff. Parents want him to marry, but is he ready for marriage? And demands from the parents of the prospective brides are also high. In addition, the question of whether or not to accept dowry. His ex gf thought he was an MCP with double standards. Yes, it is imperative for him to earn more than his wife, what will his friends and family say otherwise! He wants a workingwoman, but not a career woman. He wants to definitely have a better life than his father, who he thinks had it all easy. The option of changing jobs is open, but with the recession and all, the growth in salary is not worth it. At the same time staying in a company for more than three years may mean stagnation. May be he should go for further studies? Or is it better to get married and ‘settled’ now?

And it is in between all this confusion that suddenly a their families find a good match in each other’s families, backgrounds, etc. Its in a daze that meet each other, ask each other some questions, forgetting the important ones, which  they always wanted to.

‘Do you like her/him?’

‘Yeah she/he is okay. I would like to spend more time though.’

‘Oh sure! You will have all the time after the engagement. We need to fix a date for that though.’

After that its’ a whirlwind… Time passes so quickly .. then engagement, the thousands of calls and SMS’s, each of them trying to impress the other, share as much as possible about themselves, the apprehensions and doubts,etc etc. Then the wedding shopping, planning…

And Voila! The D-day is here. The usual confusion and mayhem prevails during the wedding also… and soon its all over or should I say its all beginning of everything!

Let me not say more now… Just

Wishing them a happy and blissful married life!

🙂

What Do I Need to Be Happy?

By Sharon Andrew, Happiness Evangelist at Happiest Minds Technologies, Bangalore 

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What do we really need right now, to be happy?

A new car, a new house, a new friend…

What do we lack right now?

Does anything need to change in order for us to be happy?

What do we really need? Do we really need anything in order to be happy?

Powerful Questions. Food for thought.

Sharon Salzberg, the author of the book “The Kindness Handbook” (http://www.flipkart.com/kindness-handbook-practical-companion/p/itmdyjz4nhmhhgcq?pid=9781591796558&otracker=from-search&srno=t_1&query=The+kindness+handbook&ref=fed7a838-4f9a-4347-ad86-ce392709fb79) shares her experience while staying at a monastery in South East Asia. At the monastery, there was generally no charge for staying and the food was donated by “groups or families who come to the center to make the offerings”. Therefore, the food that was provided was varied depending on the circumstances of those donating. Sometimes, bountiful. Sometimes, meager.

Sharon recounts: “Time after time, I went into the dining room for a meal and looked at the faces of the people who had made the offering, since they commonly come to watch you receive it. They would look radiant, so happy that they’d had an opportunity to feed us, to offer something that would help sustain us. They seemed so happy that we were going to be meditating, exploring the truth, and purifying our minds and hearts on the strength of their offering. In that moment, when they were so genuinely grateful for the chance to give, I would ask myself, ‘What do I really need right now in order to be happy?” I realized that I was getting fed a lot more by their joy and delight than I was by the actual food”.

As we journey through our manifold experiences in life, we yearn for happiness and spend time and energy looking for it. I have come to believe that performing acts of kindnesses is what brings me true, genuine and abiding happiness.

I asked some of our colleagues about what truly makes them happy. This is what they had to say:

… spending time with my family especially with my daughter makes me feel happy; when I work hard and do things differently, a bit of appreciation makes me feel happy.

… being truthful and down to earth even in a critical situation & living a simple life makes me happy.

… I feel happy when I can help my fellow people… and see them happy.

… talking to Dad makes me happy – his composed and relaxed voice reflecting patience & satisfaction with his accomplishments  gives me energy and motivation to keep trying until I succeed.

What makes you happy? What do you need to be happy?

Whats Life: A Play

for malathy's life poem

By Malathy Madathilezham

Life is but a play!

The world’s an arena on display
Everyone’s for the limelight, the glitter
We scheme, we cheat, we act!
Masks Masks everywhere
Lies lies everywhere,
Different types of lies!!!
What is real, what is true… unknown
What is favourable, we deem it the truth
Everyone’s truth is different and flexible
We scheme, we cheat, we act!
Masks Masks everywhere
Lies lies everywhere
Different types of lies!!!
Painted faces, dazzling dresses,and oh what fashion!
Cover up, cover up the ugliness within,
And make us the envy of others!!
We scheme, we cheat, we act!
Masks masks everywhere
Lies lies everywhere
Different types of lies!!!
One wrong act! One true step!
And off you go, the stage is no longer for you!
Only the careful and cunning succeed
We scheme, we cheat, we act!
Masks masks everywhere
Lies lies everywhere
Different types of lies!!!
To survive, join the game quick,
Learn the tricks and the bricks of the trade
Learn to dodge and to play!!
We scheme, we cheat, we act!
Masks masks everywhere
Lies lies everywhere
Different types of lies!!!
  • Mask! (angelfacefoundation.wordpress.com)

Chronicles Of A Mom – To – Be!! Woo Ho!! Part 6

pregnancy

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

Phew! I’ve finally touched the halfway mark. And another 20 weeks to go. Time does fly!! The serious rounding of my tummy finally makes the pregnancy feel more like a reality.

Week 16 to week 20 has been interesting, yet again. The little orange (no more a peanut folks!) is growing nicely (touchwood) and is busy practicing its twists, rolls, kicks and punches. Definitely no WWE Dear Husband, if it’s a boy! I’ve had and still going to have enough action inside to last a lifetime. As the baby doll keeps itself busy performing acrobatics inside, there is no better proof that a brand new and remarkably spirited life is evolving within me.

It’s around this time the little one gets to taste whatever I eat. So out goes the green chili sauces (yea, I developed a taste for it over the course of my pregnancy) and in comes everything that’s sweet. Sugar, I’d definitely watch out for you!!!

And hurray, my little one has its own unique fingerprints. Biometrics, we’ll meet you soon!

There’s something about an obvious bulging mid-section that attracts gratuitous advice-givers and you can’t even turn a deaf ear to. I call ‘em old wives’ tales! As much as these tales do have a strong base in facts and some have been scientifically proved, how accurate they are in every child born is still unclear.

One such is providing the baby a head-start by conducting classes in the womb! You heard me right – providing an utero concert and reading great epics and/or classics is going to turn my child into Mozart and a soon-to-be Booker prize winner!!! My my aren’t we being pushy parents even before the baby comes out?!?

Nevertheless, I see no harm providing a uterine environment rich in music and literature; it helps me bond with the little one, much before its first momma cuddle! And it helps having an astounding singer in the family – my Dear Husband! His YouTube music videos do make up for his absence every day and my kid’s jus loving it (and me too, as the baby kicks to the tunes of its father!). And out comes the dusty classics (now dust-free) which I read away to my belly every day.

Boy! This is definitely turning out to be a lot of fun!

Will meet you all soon with updates on the 6th month chronicles.

Au revoir for the moment!!!

Disclaimer: As much as the above experiences are my own, I have definitely referred to my pregnancy bible “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” by Heidi Murkoff and other pregnancy blogs easily available on Google for certain details and reasoning.

Greed Becomes Indistinguishable From Human Life

greed

Sarvesh Mehrotra in this classic writes how greed is the new God. Read on

I was reading an article today about how technology is the new religion. It explored how people gather at Apple conferences with a sense of anticipation and euphoria at a new product launch, and how a shared world of technology that was common between everyone created a sort of tribe that celebrated the “god” and worshipped together. I believe that is because in today’s world, two fundamental beliefs form the basis of our world-view and lifestyle: first is that there is no continuity to our existence beyond birth and death.  We are born, we die, and that’s it. The second one, which actually in some ways follows from the first, is that only what is experienced through the senses is important and real. Everything else is either overrated, or unimportant, or at least dispensable.

These two fundamental beliefs give rise to the next set of beliefs, some of which are: a human being starts his/her life as a blank slate, and must achieve or become something to make their life a success; a successful life is one in which there are signs of material prosperity and a relatively large ability to possess material things; the aim of life is to make it successful in this manner; problems in life must be resolved through application of the mind; any course of action of decision taken in life can be evaluated through its impact on one’s ability to possess material things; every right/good thing, person, or decision can, must, and should be measured in material terms; failure is a decrease in the ability to possess material things; all available time must be utilized; and so on.

This structure of beliefs then gives rise to a value system, in which we categorize things, situations, decisions, and people as right/wrong, good/bad, etc. which then becomes the basis of our decision-making in everyday life. Examples of thoughts that form this value system are: the creation and consumption of material things is a great way to fill the time available in life; increase in the ability to acquire material things is good and decrease is bad, unless it can later help take a decision that leads to an increase; the best way to solve problems in life is to use the mind’s logical and analytical abilities; anything not perceived by the senses is most likely a hoax or hallucination and therefore not to be trusted; success is good and failure is bad; time spent not working to increase one’s ability to acquire material things is time wasted; and so on.

Living in a world where the belief and value system described above is commonly shared, it is natural that things become our saviours from the uncertainties of life, and anyone who creates great things becomes a hero or god, which is where Apple and Steve Jobs (and a host of others) currently are in popular mindset. And while it is true that things have resolved problems humans have faced for survival on the physical plane, I believe we’ve taken the fascination with things too far at this point because anything that’s not a thing isn’t important anymore. In today’s world for an artist to matter, their art must sell; for a sportsperson to matter, they must win; for a worker to matter, they must bring the greatest profits to their employer; for a parent to matter, they must leave the greatest inheritance for their child; for a partner to matter, they must bring the ability to earn money to the relationship; for a forest to matter, it must be attractive to tourists; for a tree to matter, it must provide wood or fruit or leaves or pulp or sap which can be sold; for an animal to matter, it must be eatable, or have the ability to be a pet, or an attraction in a circus, zoo, or a wildlife sanctuary; for the rain to matter, it must increase the yield  of our farms; for the air to matter, it must provide ventilation in our homes and offices and electricity in our windmills; and for the planet to matter, it must fulfil the unending and ever-increasing greed of its human inhabitants.

Because greed is so common today and percolates and suffuses the entire mental, emotional, and social experience of human existence, it has become indistinguishable from human life. In today’s world, to be human is to be greedy. To be a good human is to be greedy with a little bit of conscience. In today’s philosophy, greed is good and is our saviour. Greed is the definition of modern and the new model of idealness.

However, the negative impact of greed is all around us. Increase in crime, breakdown of relationships, pollution of the planet, ecological disasters like floods and famines, increase in stress and obesity-linked health problems, and poverty are all related to the increase in greed. Ralph Waldo Emerson had once said “Things are in the saddle, and riding mankind”. His prediction has direly come true and is evident in front of us. The solution to the world’s problems lie not in complex technological solutions, but a simple change of human emotional orientation – away from greed and towards compassion as the model of life.

Sharing = Caring = Making a Difference

By Sharon Andrew, Happiness Evangelist at Happiest Minds Technologies, Bangalore

smd

The Mumbai Dabbawala’s deliver 120 tons of food each day, out of which 16 tons is uneaten.

At the same time, on Mumbai’s streets, there are two hundred thousand children who go hungry every day.

The ‘Share My Dabba’ initiative, a joint effort between the Happy Life Welfare Society and The Dabbawala Foundation, gets the leftover food in dabbas to the hungry street children using a tiny sticker and the extensive and efficient dabbawala network.

The dabbawalas separate the dabbas marked with the sticker & volunteers share the food with the hungry children.

Here’s a video on how it works: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZC1czZofyY

A simple sticker that demonstrates that SHARING = CARING.

A small gesture that makes a difference to 200,000 and more children every single day.

Food for thought.

Real Beauty: Perceptions Differ

beauty and perceptions

By Malathy Madathilezham

One of the definitions of the word Beauty (as given by Merriam- Webster) is the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. Thus it is related to our senses, our mind and our spirit. This means that real beauty would be different for different people. This is quite obvious when we observe physical concepts of beauty differ in different cultures, races, countries etc. These concepts change with time. Another aspect of this definition of beauty is that these are qualities, which are not necessarily the visual qualities. So anything can be beautiful; music, fragrance, the inherent or developed qualities of a human being.

Let me restrict myself to human beings. In the present scenario, everyone wants to ‘look’ beautiful! A lot of importance is being given to superficial and external beauty. Scientists are coming out with the measurements/ratios of ‘perfect’ or ‘real’ beauty. Plastic surgeons are using these measurements to make people look beautiful. In addition we have the various creams, serums that are supposed to make us look beautiful and then the gyms and fitness clubs. The cosmetics and fashion industry is thriving on the aspirations of millions to match the concepts of beauty that is being ‘sold’ to them through various media. Thus a lot of economic activity is being driven by the ‘want’ to look beautiful. Mine and your want..

But what about ‘feeling’ beautiful? That feeling which does not necessarily come out of how we look. This sense of feeling beautiful depends on our emotional well being, our happiness and human qualities of kindness, empathy and the like. The kind of lifestyle we lead nowadays with all its tensions, pressures is not exactly helping us feel good about ourselves. We lament about the lack of everything but do nothing about improving our situation. We want to look good and beautiful to others, hide our real self beneath this veneer of ‘Beauty’. But how long would this last… thus we have rising problems of depression, burnouts etc. The pressure on us to match up to the ideals of beauty, success, happiness is too much to handle and makes us forget true happiness, our true beauty and ourselves. The external image that we present to others is but a distortion of what we truly are… In the glam and glitter of the world around us, we lose sense of real beauty… and join the rat race of looking beautiful rather than being beautiful.

For me real beauty is within each of us. To discover that beauty within us and within others is truly a gift. Of course, a good dress, or haircut, or a bright nail polish does make me happy but it can only do so much to add to my self-confidence and self-image. What I am, how beautiful I truly am depends on my actions, my thoughts that are again relative and need not be the same for you. Basically there is nothing real… it’s all an illusion… and my illusion differs from yours!! I believe everybody is beautiful in his or her own unique way. So why don’t you sit down and think about what does being beautiful mean to you?

Chronicles Of A Mom – To – Be!! Woo Ho!! Part 5

pregnancy

 

By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

A new day dawns bright and it’s the first day of my second trimester. First thought – One down, two to go!!!

Over the course of the next 4 weeks, it’s amazing to watch your little peanut grow from the size of your clenched fist to the size of an orange to the length of your palm. Wow really?!? Great delights do come in small packages!

As the little one prepares for a great debut appearance (in a couple of months, that is) and life outside your womb, it’s always interesting to hear and read what the baby is doing inside you (a li’l too early to feel the baby jig as it wiggles its newly formed toes and fingers). Towards the end of this month, Mother Nature teaches the baby to suck its little fingers. Hold on baby orange – it’s mittens for your hands when you’re out!

And finally the BUMP appears. You can no longer pass it off as a stomach after a heavy lunch!

To add to this, the woes of my mother who can’t get her forty winks, thanks to the nocturnal nasal symphony (performed by me, of course! In simple English, it’s snoring). She says it reminds her of an induction motor running. Boy, that can be really disturbing.

Not that I’m a weight watcher; but to see the numbers creep up every time you stand on the scales can be depressing. Sigh, one has to pile up the pounds to support the baby inside you. In my case, according to my BMI, it’s close to 25 pounds. Goodness gracious me! But Vidya Balan – I love you! Thanks to you and definitely Dirty Picture, curvy is in! I’m definitely embracing my new-found curves!!! A high protein diet with the necessary carbs, and not to forget, the goodness from buckets of ice creams – yummy! What’s going on?!? Blame it on pregnancy cravings!

As your wardrobe makes way for new clothes (read: maternity clothes), it’s scary, at first to imagine your cupboard to be filled with ghastly tent-like muumuus to hide your expectant shape. The dread is replaced by excitement when you visit a maternity shop. Today, maternity clothes are very fashionable and practical to wear. I love it!

Though the little one is far from ready to make a personal appearance, it’s really nice to know for sure there’s actually someone in there.

Until next time, goodbye folks!

 

Disclaimer: As much as the above experiences are my own, I have definitely referred to my pregnancy bible “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” by Heidi Murkoff and other pregnancy blogs easily available on Google for certain details and reasoning.

 

 

 

नशा ही नशा है

change society blog

शीला चित्रवंशि कि कलम से

कहीं यह शीर्षक “नशा ही नशा है “देख कर आप सब चौंक तो नहीं गए? क्योंकि मैं ये सब नशे में नहीं लिख रही हूँ। वरन सही मायने मैं आप सभी का ध्यान इस बदलते हुए समाज के अन्दर जो निरंतर नयी नयी कुरीतियाँ फैलती जा रही हैं, उनकी ओर आकर्षित करना चाह रही हूँ। आज समाज में दिन-ब-दिन जो बदलाव आते जा रहे हैं उससे आप सभी अनभिज्ञ नहीं। यानि की सामाजिक ढांचा ही बदल चुका है। जिसका सीधा-सादा प्रभाव एवं परिवारों पर कहीं कम तो कहीं ज्यादा नज़र आता है, जिसे अनदेखा नहीं किया जा सकता है।

सवाल यह नहीं है कि लोग अनभिज्ञ है या फिर भिज्ञ; सवाल तो यह है की हमारी भारतीय संस्कृति पाश्चात्य सभ्यता से कहाँ तक प्रभावित है और क्यों? समय-समय पर बदलाव तो हमारे समाज में सदियों से चले आ रहे हैं – यह कोई नयी बात भी नहीं है। फिर समाज हो या परिवार, सब उससे प्रभावित भी हुए हैं। पर इतना भी नहीं कि अपनी ही संस्कृति या उसकी सभ्यता तथा अपने ही नैतिक मूल्यों को समाप्ति की कगार पर लाकर खड़ा कर दिया हो। ध्यान दें तो परिवर्तन न केवल सृष्टि का नियम है वरन समय की माँग भी है। समझने वाली बात यह है की हमारे भारतीय समाज में फैली हुई वे कुरीतियाँ जिनका सीधा-सादा प्रभाव हमारी भारतीय सभ्यता एवं  संस्कृति पर पड़ा , क्या वह पश्चिमी सभ्यता का अन्धानुकरण नहीं?

यहाँ पर हमारा उद्देश्य किसी भी देश की संस्कृति या फिर उसकी सभ्यता पे टीका-टिपण्णी अथवा कटाक्ष या व्यंग्य करना नहीं । हर देश की अपनी अलग अलग संस्कृति एवं सभ्यता होती है जो वहां के वातावरण, पर्यावरण, उनके अपने आचार-विचार एवं वहां की सामाजिक स्थिति पर निर्भर करती है। अब उसके लिए ये आवश्यक नहीं कि हम विदेशी संस्कृति की अपनाकर ही आधुनिक या फिर उच्च व्यक्तित्व वाले कहलायेंगे। हम अपनी संस्कृति में रह कर भी एक प्रभावशाली व्यक्तित्व बन सकते हैं । देखा जाये तो हमारे अपने ही देश में विभिन्न प्रकार की संस्कृतियाँ देखने को मिलती हैं। उदहारण स्वरुप मराठी, गुजराती, राजस्थानी, पंजाबी आदि आदि। पर हर एक संस्कृति की अलग-अलग सभ्यता देखने को मिलती है। उनके खान-पान, रहन-सहन, पहनना-ओढना , नृत्य कला, संगीत एवं भाषाएँ तक अलग अलग हैं । गर्व की बात यह भी है कि विभिन्नता में भी अभिन्नता देखने को मिलती है। सबकी अपनी अलग अलग पहचान है। जहां तक मेरा अनुभव है किसी देश की संस्कृति अच्छी या बुरी नहीं होती। यह पूरी तरह हम पर और हमारे समाज पर निर्भर करता है कि हम क्या अपनायें और क्या ना अपनायें ।

वर्त्तमान सामाजिक बदलाव को देखकर तो ऐसा ही लगने लगा है जैसे न ही अपनी संस्कृति रह गयी है और न ही कोई सभ्यता शेष है। जहाँ तक सवाल उठता है पाश्चात्य सभ्यता का तो हम लोगो ने उनकी संस्कृति की अच्छाइयों को नज़रंदाज़ करके उनकी उस सभ्यता को अपनाया है हमारी भारतीय संस्कृति के प्रतिकूल है। जिस भारतीय समाज में हम रहते हैं , वहां का वातावरण, सभ्यता एवं मर्यादाएं तथा उनके नैतिक मूल्य कुछ और हैं। ऐसे में जब हम उनके पहनावे में अपने आपको ढालते हैं तो उनकी खुली सोच और उनके खुलेपन का अन्धानुकरण कर बैठते हैं, जो हमारे वातावरण में नग्नता सी दिखती है। आजकल हमारे समाज में मानो आधुनिकता की परिभाषा ही बदल गयी है, जो जितना कम से कम पहन कर अधिक से अधिक शारीरिक प्रदर्शन करे, उसे ही आधुनिक समझते हैं। उसे ही हमारे समाज में “modernity ” का नाम दिया जाता है।

इतना ही नहीं, समाज में फैले हुए विभिन्न प्रकार के नशे का प्रभाव भी कम नहीं है। आज खुलेआम  drugs का सेवन करते हुए अधिकतर स्कूल के लड़के लड़कियां इधर-उधर घूमते नज़र आते हैं । साथ ही युवा वर्ग भी पीछे नहीं हैं। जगह जगह पर pubs देर रात तक dance floor में केवल लड़के लड़कियां ही नहीं अपितु युवक-युवतियां  भी पश्चिमी धुनों पर डांस करते, थिरकते , smoke करते  नजर आते हैं । इधर बड़े शहरों में आजकल एक प्रचलन और चला है “Hukka Bar” का, पर उन हुक्कों में तम्बाकू के स्थान पर drugs हुआ करता है । ऐसे वातावरण में अश्लील व्यंग्यों की भी कोई कमी नहीं होती जिसका परिणाम भी स्पष्ट रूप से झलक रहा है । आये दिन छोटी बच्चियों से बलात्कार, छोटे छोटे स्कूल में पढ़ते नाबालिग बच्चों का ज़रा-ज़रा सी बात पर झगड़ा, गाली- गलौज, धमकाना, डराना, एक दूसरे की जान तक ले लेना – ऐसी बातों से समाचार-पत्र भरे पड़े मिलते हैं ।

आजकल समाज में जो कुछ भी चल रहा है क्या इसकी ज़िम्मेदारी हमारी युवा पीढ़ी के साथ साथ हमारे media पर नहीं जाती? आज सभी वर्गों में अधिकतर लोगों के पास दूरदर्शन एवं कंप्यूटर की सुविधा होती है। इस कारण बच्चे बाहर कम अन्दर दूरदर्शन एवं कंप्यूटर पर अधिकतर बैठे दिखाई देते हैं । ऐसे में जाने-अनजाने, सही-गलत का अनुभव न होने के कारण बच्चे जब दूरदर्शन एवं कंप्यूटर देखते हैं, तो उनके मानस-पटल पर जो छवि बैठ जाती  है वे वही करने की कोशिश करते हैं, और प्रायः कर बैठते हैं, जिसका प्रभाव स्पष्ट नज़र आता है।

ऐसी स्थिति में हमारी युवा पीढ़ी आज की आने वाली पीढ़ी से थोड़ा-बहुत भी संतुलन बना कर चले तो सामंजस्य मुश्किल नहीं । आज का वातावरण देख कर तो ऐसा लगने लगा है जैसे हमारी भारतीय संस्कृति विदेशी संस्कृति से इतना प्रभावित हो चुका है कि अपने ही नैतिक मूल्यों को खोकर पाश्चात्य सभ्यता की ओढ़नी से अपनी  ही सभ्यता और संस्कारों को ढकते चले जा रहे हैं । सोचना यह है कि युवा-पीढ़ी इस बदलाव के इन झोंकों के साथ बहकर इतनी दूर न चले जाए कि अपनी ही धरोहर को – जो भारतीयता के नाम से जानी जाती है – खो बैठे, और उनके अपने ही पास अपने बच्चों को देने के लिए कुछ शेष न रह जाये।

अभी कुछ वर्ष पूर्व तक हमारे समाज में एक शब्द “मर्यादा” का भी हुआ करता था, पर आजकल के वातावरण में इस शब्द की कोई मर्यादा नहीं रह गयी है । कभी-कभार कहीं कहीं आते जाते कानों में पड़ जाता है की मर्यादा में रहना सीखो । आज वर्तमान पीढ़ी को आप कुछ भी कहें तो आवाज़ एक ही आती है, वो भी चारो तरफ से “पता नहीं आप लोग किस ज़माने की बातें कर रहे हैं। दुनिया इतनी बदल चुकी है की लोग चाँद पर पहुँच गए पर आप लोग रहेंगे वाही लकीर के फ़कीर।” आजकल स्थिति एकदम फर्क हो चुकी है। इस पीढ़ी को यह समझना चाहिए कि चाँद पर पहुँचाना एक अलग बात है । हम आज अपने संस्कारों को खोये बिना ही वह सब कुछ कर सकते हैं जो हम चाहते हैं । ऐसा लगता है जैसे परिवार और समाज के पारस्परिक संबधों का ह्रास  होता जा रहा है, जिसके कारण सामजिक तनाव बढ़ता जा रहा है । समाज में फैली कुव्यवस्था का एक मुख्य कारण यह भी है ।

मेरा लिखने का आशय ये कदापि नहीं कि मैं आप लोगों को कोई उपदेश या नसीहत दे रही हूँ, वरन समाज में फैली हुई इन कुरीतियों पर ध्यान दिलाना चाहती हूँ जिन पर आपका दृष्टिकोण जाता ही नहीं, क्यूँकि आप स्वयं ही उससे प्रेरित हो चुके हैं । पीढ़ियों का अंतर तो स्वाभाविक है पर अगर हम और आप चाहें तो पीढ़ियों के बीच एक मद्य संतुलन बना कर भावी पीढ़ी के भविष्य को सुरक्षित रख सकते हैं ।

 

 

Indian Middle Class Life And Stories

india, indian middle class family driving on scooter in bangalore

By Pinaki Pratihar

Every day when I wake-up and get prepared for my office, I pack my lunch made by my maid and miss my mom. How she helped me get dressed for school or how she used to pack my favorite dishes during my college-life when I use-to go home every weekend!

Or at early night when I used to chat with my dad, queries regarding health, job, life, parties, future plans and more. Sometimes the whole conversation turned into a simple question by my mom, “When will you come here to meet us?”

And I remained silent like ever. Mom has a power; she can feel some unspoken words. She naturally did-not repeats the same question. She left the topic the moment she felt I am uncomfortable with that.

He is a father, who has invested all of his savings for education of his children and to earn their minimum daily needs and wants. A perfect representative of Indian Middle Class society, who preferred to invest on Education, rather increasing his bank balance, whose expenditure, is same as his income, at the age of pre-retirement. He had invested his time to his children as much as possible and now he deserves to get the same attention from his children as he knows he is also experiencing the old-age problems and he need some-one apart from his caring wife, who is also struggling from fevers and pains due to age and nerve conduction and is failing to keep in check with his physical condition. He deserves a hand who can help him reach the nearest reliable hospital and can bring the medicine on time.

She is a mom; she had a general ‘mango-people’ homemaker mindset of having the best of possible things. Her only happiness in life comes from seeing her children attain a position in life. She still wishes her son could be a schoolteacher in a nearest high school and can stay at home at-least.

And me! Once I dreamt to be near my parents and failed, when I felt that life can be easy but career is not secured in Kolkata. Negligible economic growth and industry-related statistics and HR-satisfaction survey and un-predictable responses never encouraged me to be in Kolkata. The dream has busted. I never realized when.

I am a person who enjoys the cheap ride in Kolkata, cheap food and the lazy moments with family and friends. I do not feel the same in Delhi though I have a core set of friends and experienced colleagues. I am well convinced that this is not a place to grow well for a non-IT profile.

Everyday I wake up early morning and reach home at night; in between I mix with so many identities. I am a daily passenger who pays the same for a ticket to reach office, a colleague, who can do his job, a friend, with whom some information can be shared, a researcher who try to study things in-depth, an executive who interact with clients regularly and try to put some value in the business process, a junior, who try to follow senior’s instructions, a judge, before putting the instructions and a dreamer who try to put something new in front of the management.

And a Govt.

In my childhood, I participated in debates against brain-drain, but later-on realized watching so many unsuccessful businessmen in West Bengal that every state is not open like Gujarat.

I am not happy, but satisfied just by calling and considering my days as ‘The Struggling Period’, where I am struggling to learn some more, to earn some more money, respect and more happiness around me. I am convinced that this time, forget about your emotions and family. Here I wish you find your life different from me.