Category Archives: Career Moms

How to Make Your Boss Love You – Part 1

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“My boss is a nice person, but for some strange reasons he does not like me…or so I think…not sure!”

“Guess my boss was a Hitler in his previous life!”

“I don’t know what she expects from me. She cracks cheap jokes all day long…of course, according to her it’s not cheap…but I find them quite distasteful!”

How many of you connect to these sentiments? Assuming that most of you will, let’s try and unravel a few traits of managers and ways of appealing to particular types!

The Bully

BossDo you get frequent mails from your boss, threatening you to complete a particular work on time, or else…? Did you make a killer presentation, which had a punctuation error on the twelfth slide and for which you were reprimanded by your boss? Is he always trying to intimidate you into performing your task? If your answer to all this is yes, then your boss is a sure-shot bully!

How to deal – Unfortunately, there isn’t a simple way of dealing with this kind of people. All you can do is project yourself as a reasonable person. Put your foot down whenever you feel he has crossed the line. Your boss might respect you when you stand up for yourself because, in a way, you are speaking his language.

The Manipulator

manipulative-bossThis type of people will never explain their requirement clearly to you. Instead, they will drop hints and expect you to find your way out. Such qualities in managers generally surface in case of great power difference. You can recognize your boss as being manipulative if he sends you running off with tasks to multiple directions. Initially, you might feel good about being given the responsibility to accomplish numerous tasks. However, you have to keep evaluating your goals. If you feel that the tasks are not helping you accomplish the career goals you have set for yourself, you have to speak up.

How to deal – Talk to your boss privately about your career goals. Tell him about what you aim to achieve, but you have to remember to make your boss look good in the process. Hurting his ego will not do you any good. With some patience and skill you will manage the manipulator.

The Liar

liar1-e1334603938595Has your boss promised you promotion after you complete a hellish project? Have you completed several such difficult projects without any promotions in the horizon? If yes, then you must accept it that your boss is a liar and that he is trying to extract as much work from you as possible, free of cost!

How to deal – While you have to keep your interests in mind, you cannot afford to get into the bad books of your manager. The best way of dealing with such a personality is by getting things in writing. May be you can start a chain mail and keep your upper management in the loop. A chain mail will be your best defense against false promises.

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मेरी माँ

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Continuing our Mother’s Week celebrations, here is another masterpiece by a fabulously talented upcoming poet Syed Bilal. Maa Tujhe Salaam. 

कितनी रातें तू जागी है
कितने दिन रात रोई है ,
तकलीफों को अपनी माँ
मुस्कराहट में संजोयी है ,

कितने जत्नों के बाद जन्मा
तुमने मुझको ऐ अम्मा
मेरी हर आह पे ऐ माँ
तू रो आँचल भिगोई है ,

नमाज़ों में दुआओं में
तूने जन्नत न है मांगी
के मांगी है मेरी बस खैर
मेरी खुशी-आबादी मांगी है ,

ममता  तेरी ओ मेरी माँ
मुझको हौसला दे जाती है
के जाऊं मैं कहीं भी
तेरी बस याद  आती है ,

कितनी  माएँ आज रोती हैं
रास्तों पे वो रहती हैं
के अपनों ने न माना है
घर से उनको निकाला है ,

दुखों में दर्द में रहती हैं
कई तकलीफें सहती हैं
फिर भी बच्चों को अपने
बद-दुआ वो न देती है ,

सुधर जाओ संभल जाओ
माँ का मतलब समझ जाओ
के जन्नत है मुहब्बत है
माँ ही बस ऐसी अज़मत है ,

मेरा वादा है तुझसे माँ
दिल न तेरा दुखाऊंगा
तेरी ख़ुशी -हसी के लिए
मैं तो कुछ भी कर जाऊंगा
के रखूँगा सदा पलकों पे
फ़र्ज़ सारे निभाऊंगा

आपका 
बिलाल 

माँ…

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Abhinav Singh continues the Mothers Week special with this heart touching poem.

एक शब्द ही नहीं,
ममता का रूप हो तुम|
हर कदम मिलने वाली,
छाँव और धुप हो तुम|
भर दे जो जीवन को,
जिस प्रेम एवं आशिर्वाद से,
वो एहसास हो तुम|
क्युं लगे मेरी माँ ,
की कहीं आसपास हो तुम|

मुश्किलों में तुम हो सहारा,
एक अपना है हमारा|
जिसने ये जीवन सवारा,
वो एहसास हो तुम|
क्युं लगे मेरी माँ,
की कहीं आसपास हो तुम|

हमारी नींद जिनकी,
जागती आँखों में सोती|
जो हमारे कष्टों में,
पलपल रोती|
जन्म ही नहीं,
जीवन भी दिया तुमने|
इसलिए ख़ास हो तुम|
क्युं लगे मेरी माँ,
की कहीं आसपास हो तुम|

A Tribute to the Symbol of Sacrifice, Hope and Comfort

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Our Mother’s Week celebrations continue as Ganesh Subramanian talks how God by his creation of mommies made sure his presence ain’t compulsory everywhere. Read on the wonderful article. 

It is said that God cannot be everywhere to help everyone and that is why he sent mothers to earth. How true is this adage even today! From Bollywood’s legendary exchange between Shashi Kapoor and Amitabh Bachchan, where Shashi Kapoor says, “Mere pass maa hai!” to TV soaps and media glorifying women as a mother, we have seen it all. But can mother, that caring, gentle human being, be restricted to these praises alone. Not at all! A mother is beyond words, beyond worlds.

From seeing us take those tiny, baby steps to beating the floor if we slip and fall down and are on the verge of crying, from sacrificing her food and eating what is left after the whole family has consumed its food, from rejoicing at our success to crying when we were in pain, from telling proudly to others as to how/her son/daughter won an event to putting herself on the line when her kid is in danger, a mother has been our constant companion in joy and sorrow, triumph and defeat, delight and despair, success and failure and pleasure and pain.

Often when I am dejected or when I have met with some failure, it has been my mother who has reminded me that this failure is just a learning curve and I am too talented for success to be elusive for too long. Often this is what is needed for me to become cheerful again and work harder next time. A mother understands her child’s hunger, she understands her children’s aspirations. She along with her children builds castles with them, a castle of dreams, of hope, of betterment.

How many roles does a mother play? If there is any CEO who could play as many roles as a mother had to, then he/she would have been extinct by now. A mother is a companion to her kids, a devoted wife to her husband, a mentor and a coach to her kids when they learn, a relationship counselor to her kids when they grapple with teenage issues. The list is endless.

On the occasion of Mother’s week, let us all take a moment to reflect on this wonderful human being, a walking God amidst us in our family, the unselfish supporter in everyone’s life. Let us prostrate before this light of divinity and may we all pray to the Almighty to give this amazing creation a long, healthy and happy life. Happy Mothers Week !

Mom and kid

God Gave A Blessing Called MOTHER

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Continuing our Mother’s special week, here’s Gurulakshmi Iyer-Hait telling her mom why she feels all that her mom did to her while she grew up has helped Guru be a good mother. Read the emotional tribute. 

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

-William Ross Wallace

Over the 2 years of motherhood that I have enjoyed, I have really felt one can’t be a good mom unless and until she yells and shouts and sometimes raises her hand at the kid. I hated this when my mom did that to me and envied my sister since as elder one I had to take her quota of scolding and beating too. But when my little one began crawling and walking, I had to start off with all that I really hated as a kid. It was then that I knew what it meant.

No doubt this happens to all of us and we are forced to do that to our kids. Sometimes I am even forced to think about what I did and ate those 9 months of pregnancy to have given birth to such a brat. But then, it is really impossible to be away or ignore the so called monster that we give birth to. That is the beauty of Motherhood. No other relationship possesses this quality whatsoever.

As a kid, I never wished my mother for Mother’s Day. Infact we never knew that such a day existed. However we believed that the divine presence was apparent in the love and care of a mother. Today when my kid wishes me and gifts me those memories come back without much effort.

I remember as a child when I used to fall sick, how much worried she used to be. I experience the same worry now when my kid is sick. I used to think she is just over reacting then. But now I know how much I was wrong. No words of gratitude can suffice the pains she went through for us. And today I really get to know the meaning of those three words she uttered in joy during one of my fancy dress performances,”That’s my child”. This feeling is a bundle of emotions that really defy any reason.

Her overjoyed face when I ate up my food made by her is something that cannot be put in words. Come on, I was hungry and I ate up, what is there to be so happy about. Naah, only a mom would understand that, don’t even try. Those moments when I borrowed money from her for partying is so worth remembering. After having become a mom, I still feel the string of my kite is in her hands and she is still the decisive influence.

I have just begun to understand my mother’s love for me as my kid grows up. I cannot thank her enough, for her unconditional love.

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but
whose place no one else can take.”
— Cardinal Mermillod

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Love, Life, Career…and Mommyhood

Another must-read from Gurulakshmi Iyer- Hait. This time she writes about the new and most adored addition to her family, who is not a part of her life but LIFE itself! How confusing and emotionally-racking the transition was from a full-time professional to a full-time mother, but how rewarding it feels at the end of the day! 

Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
– Elizabeth Stone

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It’s 3 in the morning! I wake up hearing the meek cry of my baby. He feels famished at this hour of the night. I know this and get up immediately. I have been religiously following this sleep pattern for the last two and half years now.

Around 3 years back, we were ecstatic to have achieved our so-called ‘biggest priority’. We bought our dream flat. At that point of time, our priorities were mostly material possessions…an iPhone, a sedan, a SLR camera, etc. Little did we know that the sudden news of an addition to our two-member family will change the whole perspective of our lives. As a couple, we have thoroughly enjoyed our courtship and marriage. Weekends were usually spent either sleeping till late afternoons or partying hard till early mornings. It took us a while to digest the fact that we will have a small little thing amidst our inconsistent schedule. And once that realization occured, everything seemed to change.

I would feel like eating a pastry at 1 in the night .Hubby dear, who is usually very fussy about his sleep, actually wakes up and drives around to find some shops which remain open at that hour. I must say, as a pregnant woman, I have offered prayers to all the Gods and Goddesses in the world. Not that I wasn’t spiritually oriented before my pregnancy. However, the news enhanced the piousness and spirituality in me. Or perhaps, I was scared to have a tiny little being inside me.

Oh, did I mention the pampering I got everywhere I went? Now that’s something worth mentioning.

With that bulging belly, people treated me like a VIP. I got into a crowded bus and there were at least three people offering their seats to me. Whenever I went to the grocers, two or more people would come running to push my trolley. My beautician, who never had appointments for me during weekends, used to arrange a separate chair for me to enjoy a massage without any discomfort.

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And then after nine months of suspense, pampering and fear came the D-day.  You’ve just delivered the baby (Caesarean or normal, the physical and emotional pain for both are every bit excruciating) and have just sworn off men for life. You catch yourself staring at the dyke that caused you to go through all the shit. Yes I’m talking of Messers Tiny Feet itself. You stare at those tiny eyes and wrinkled skin and try thinking charitable thoughts. A little finger wriggles. A mouth opens into a yawn. You’re all ready to ooze over it. Then it oozes over you.

Office meetings and Training programmes are now bartered with nappy changing sessions and feeding sessions. I tell you, one becomes an expert in nappy changing within 3 months of motherhood . In fact, you learn to fathom when t change the nappy by your little ones’ facial expressions. As a working professional, I must admit I could never make out my boss’ mood by simply looking at him 😛 but suddenly reading faces comes naturally and becomes a hobby.

Feeding bottles, baby lotions, teether, bathing tub, potty seat, walker, pram, tricyle, high chair and loads and loads of toys are major portion of our recent possession which we proudly display, in the name of furniture. I might forget to wear the right top for the jeans or a matching salwar for the kameez for a family dinner but I don’t dare to forget the bibs and high chair for my kid.

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Experiencing the milestones of growth were so tempting that I did not give a second thought to letting my career take a backseat just to be able to become a full-time mommy for his initial growth years. Obsession with material possession has been replaced by the latest kid’s gadget toys and newest child related insurances and investment.

All the pains, sleepless nights, uncombed hair for months and a laid-back career life does not really matter when my child finally comes running to me hugs me with all the love in the world. The pleasure and the satisfaction of raising the child are more than euphoric! They are priceless!

After love, life, marriage and career……..for me, it’s that phase of life called Mommyhood!!!

Thank Her The Special Way This Mothers Day

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While you must be wondering on what to give your mother on the Mothers day, Prachi Sharma suggests 5 emotional gifts that would pleasure her heart more than any material ones.
1. Make her feel special for making you wise: So do you even know where and how did you became all this intelligent? Where did the first few parts of wisdom came from? It clearly came from the person whose body you were a part of. It was her who made you understand the difference between a real sweet dish and a soap you thought was an ice-cream. It was her who made you differentiate between the good and bad. Tell her how all that made you the person you are today. She will feel more proud and happy then if you gift her a bouquet of exclusive roses.
2. Tell her you would get all that she sacrificed for you: I know this as a witness that mothers (especially the ones in he middle class) in general sacrifice a lot to get their children the best they can. They sacrifice sarees so that you can buy two more pair of clothes, they sacrifice holidays so that your excursion trips don’t get spoilt for no budgets. Promise her today that no matter what happens henceforth, one of your primary ambitions in life would be to get her all that she ever desired to have.
3. Tell her how you felt great when she celebrated your achievements: Remember the first time you came third in class and no one including your father thought you did something good. Who smiled at you then? I would answer my mom did. She not only smiled, she made me awesome food that I loved. She also praised me in front of my relatives. It was her who made me feel that I also command some value. It is the confidence that I carry from there which has made me the one I am today. Tell her how she made you what you are by celebrating your achievements and giving you confidence.
4. Tell her that had it not been for her you wouldn’t have been able to stand challenges: I came back battered one day from school. I was scolded badly by a teacher for no mistake of mine. You know what happened next. My mom actually went to school, opened up the case, got the facts corrected and re-instated my position the correct way. No one else cared and had it not been for her, I would have seriously felt low on confidence facing my class and that teacher all the time after that. This is just a one-off. In all such cases it is the mom who weathers the storm for you and makes your path clear. Thank her for that.
5. Tell her you thank her for the right path: I was not the only one who could have gone ashtray. We all land at an age where we can. I also made mistakes but thankfully had a mother who had the saddle in her control pretty tight. When I was just entering youth that control looked like I was being caged. Today though I see the value. I thank her for that and am sure you would like to do that too.
Ask a kid without a mom what and how does he/she feels like? You will immediately understand the higher pedestal that you sit on. Don’t waste any time as life is highly unpredictable. Make the most precious women in your life feel special because when you first felt special about yourself it was she who celebrated the most.

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