Pappu Ko Mili Pappi


By Joybrato Dutta

comedy week

Aaj katha divas ke paavan avsar par humne socha ek vyatha bhari katha sunaye. Naam se to pata chal hi gaya hoga ki is paatth ke mukhya kirdaar ka naam Pappu hai.

Pappu Chaubey Paandunagar ke sabse raes MLA ke driver ka beta tha. Naam chota tha par chakke lambe maarta tha. Maahi Bhaiyya bulaaye jaane waale iss nagine ko out karne ka nuskha kisi bowler ke paas nahin tha. Chheh saal ki umar mein Tendulkar ke saare records tod chuka tha. Par akela tha bechaara. Itne bade star hone ke bawjood, kisi bhi ladki ka usko dekh nahin banta tha mood.

Par iss raat ki subah aayi. Pappu ki gali mein Roshni aayi. Aur apni jeevika mein pehli baar Pappu ke stumps ne dhool chaati. Gend se nazar hati aur durghatna ghati. Bechaara kya karta, saamne se uske babuji Shri Satyaki Chaubey Ji ek khoobsurat dus saal ki hirni laa rahe the. Uff uski chaal. Uff uske gaal. Kya khoob chamak rahi thi uski khaal. Uske dekhte hi khade ho gaye Pappu ke baal.

Balla chod pappu apne babuji ki aur dauda. Yeh dekh Babuji ne shuru kiya khujlana apne maathe ka phoda. Jis bete ne aaj tak unki tarf dekh nahin muskuraya, woh saagar ki Dimple Kapadiya jaise daud ke unke paas aaya?!?. Pahunchte hi Pappu ne haafte huye kaha “babuji hum aaj chauraasi run banaye”. Babuji ne palat ke poocha “Beta ganit mein kitne ank aaye?” Iske jawab mein Pappu bhi utna hi bol paaya jisey sunkar, Chaubey Ji ko Manmohan Singh yaad aaya.

Par dekh ke Pappu ki shakal Roshni ne kiya chuckle.

Dekh ke Roshni ki muskurahat, khadi ho gayi pappu ki khaat.

Pappu roz babuji ke saath MLA saheb ke ghar jaane laga. Pehle to Babuji ko samajh na aaya. Phir laga shayad bete ko kaamchori ke khayal ne sataya.

Teen din ki iss ghisayi ke baad woh shubh ghadi aayi jab Roshni ke nana ne Chaubey Ji Senior se kaha “Arre Chaubey Ji jara Pappu se kaho humri Roshni bitiya ko gaanv ghumaaye. Bambayi se aayi hai, usey zara gaanv ke mahaul se parichaye karaaye”.  Pappu ne maara mauke pe chauka aur woh bann gaya Roshni ka guide.

Taj Mahal ki bhi kisi shayar ne itni tareef na ki hogi jitni apne gaanv ki Pappu ne kari. Uske varnan ke saamne Roshni ko uska Bandra gaanv lagne laga. Jai Kishan Chikitsalay ke saamne Lilavati hospital ki kya aukaat. Majaal hai PVR ki jo Goushala Talkies ki laga sake watt. Bhokali Bhojanalay ne bhi lagayi Barbeque Nation aur Global Fusion ko laat.

Dheere dheere Pappu Roshni ke aur kareeb aata gaya. Pappu ki keechad bhari zindagi mein pyaar ka kamal khillta gaya.

Phir aayi Chaudhah Farvary ki woh shaam. Pappu karne waala tha ek ghmasan elaan.  Doston ne badhaya haunsla aur pappu ne finally bakk daala “Aap humre sang love karengi”. Aise natkhat proposal ko kaun thukra sakta tha bhala. Roshni ne jhat se Pappu ke gaalo par pappi di aur sharma ke chal di. Bas phir kya Pappu ke tote udd gaye aur saath mein ande bhi le gaye. Ekaaek Hindi Cinema ke saare pyaar bhare geet uske mann mein mash up ke bhaanti bajne lage.

Pappu ne apne sabse priye mitr Sanku ko ye baat batayi. Sunte hi Sanku ne Pappu ki khushi par nazar lagai. Woh bola “Humre taau kehte hai ki pappi dene se bachha paida hota hai”. Yeh sun kar Pappu ke laal gaal aur laal ho aye. Saare armaan kahin ojhal ho gaye.

Halaat ne bhi kya mast Pappu ki waatt lagayi. Premika ki chahat thi, bachhe ki amma aa gayi. Par baap banne ke iss khayal ne pappu ko zimmedaar bana diya. Abb usne time pe school jaana, aur mann laga ke padhna shuru kiya. Uske is badlav se sab hairaan the, adhyapak baukhlaya aur sahpaathi pareshan the.

Pappu apne baap banne ke khayal ko aur gambhirta se lene laga aur ek din usne apne babuji se iss bare baat-cheet kar hi daali.

Pappu – babuji, hum paida kaise huye

Babuji – Beta, Bhagwan aaye aur tumhe amma ke god mein rakh diye

Pappu – bachha paida hone se pehle pet kahen phoolta hai

Babuji – kayi baar Bhagwan bachhe ko pet ke andar daal deta hai

Pappu – Achha! To yeh bachha nikalta kahan se hai

Babuji – Bhagwan ki den hai jahan se marzi nikal jaata hai

Pappu – Arre magar kahin se to nikalta hoga.

Babuji ko aage samajh na aaya to jhat se ek tamacha de maara. Pappu bhi naraaz ho gaya. Woh bola “jawab nahin aata to maar kahe rahe ho”.

Udhar Roshni bhi pareshan thi, Pappu aajkal kuch zyaada ki uski fikar kar raha tha. “Ice cream mat khaao, ulta mat leto, zyaada uchlo kudo mat”, aise prakaar ki rukawate Pappu uske saamne rakh raha tha. Pappu bhi use khul kar nahin bata raha tha. Sanku ne mana jo kara tha. Sanku ka kehna tha ki aisi khush khabri hamesha aurat hi deti hai. Marad bole to ashubh hota hai.

Kuch dino baad Roshni ki chuttiyaan khatam hui aur woh Bambayi wapas jaane lagi. Station mein Pappu ko rota huya dekh woh uski aur bhaagi. Boli “pappu bandh karo rona, mere jaate hi mujhe facebook pe add karna”. Pappu bola “Suno Roshni, na chalegi abb tumri mann-maani, hum jald hi naukri dhundenge, chahe bechna pade humey nimbu-paani”.

Tabhi train ne seeti maari. Sharmeeli Roshni nana ki taraf bhaagi. Aur phhir dekhte he dekhte huwa woh kaand. Bann gaya Pappu aag-baboola saand. Cheekh ke bola “Saali…..

Huwa bas itna ki MLA sahab ne Roshni ko jhappi di. Aur badle mein Roshni ne apne nana ke gaalo par ek pappi di.

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