The Great Indian (Before) Marriage Tamasha – Part 2


By Shwetha Kalyanasundaram

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So how did my search for Mr Right go?

With everyone relying upon technology (to throw you solutions), my parents, just like millions of other Indian parents, put my profile on every matrimonial site available. My parents and I sat down (with a notepad and a pen) to list out our expectations and to draw up a profile for me that could be posted on these sites. After sessions of brain storming and cluttering our house with crushed balls of paper, we finally zeroed in on what had to be put up on the web!!

Oh, these also involved consultations with astrologers to prepare a list of birth stars that would match with mine. Phew, it was one hell of a task before my profile finally came up in the various marriage portals.

I should also mention the confusion we had over the kind of photographs that had to be uploaded on my profile. Should we choose a photo with a desi look or could the photo show the modern moi?!? For those who still don’t understand the reason behind this confusion, here’s a brief explanation. Guys (waiting to get married) want girls to have a modern outlook towards life (this is one statement that’s so common and visible in all the guys profiles) and would not want to see a photo of a girl in a sari; they call such girls “pazhams” (Tamil slang). And parents do not wish to see the girl in sleeveless dresses or in jeans and they term such girls “liberated”. To put an end to all this bokwaas (made popular with the release of Chennai Express), we put up 6 photos in all, in different costumes, catering to all “their” needs. Now that’s a lot of choice we have given the parents! And with the advent of social networks, the changes to your Facebook profile photos to suit the needs of the groom and his parents – one helluva job!

This blog would make no sense if I do not talk about the tamashaa involving horoscope matching!! If astrology is all about maths and physics, why do astrologers differ?!?

And then the calls started flowing, multitudes of them. Details, telephone numbers, email ids and horoscopes were exchanged. The homepage on our PC and laptops changed to the matrimonial portal. From our end, numerous profiles were scanned, a handful shortlisted from them and horoscopes downloaded. My mother then ran to our family astrologer for matching purposes, and always used to return crestfallen, with just two to three horoscopes matching. This had become a routine, and our astrologer’s number had been assigned as “the priority” on the speed dial list on our mobile phones!

It is a known fact that no two astrologers have the same opinion. And that results in total chaos!! If the horoscopes match at the girl’s end, it doesn’t on the guy’s end and vice versa. When only a handful of horoscopes match from a billion others, my mother reached a state where she stopped believing in astrology. She didn’t want to involve a third person (the astrologer, that is) to decide the future of her child (that’s me!!), rather she decided to believe in destiny!

So is there more fun to this?!? Wait and watch!!!

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